I'm in a relationship and we had a baby like 8 months ago. I checked his phone records because I have already in the past found him to be unfaithful. So in these phone records I find out that he's repeatedly calling females. He called one the day I had the baby. And it shows that every time he goes out he is calling other women on top of this I found a picture of a girls hmm....."thang". Nice big close up shot of her "thang" send from her to him. I confronted him and he denies a lot of things. There's a day in particular that he was suppose to be some where and clearly wasn't he won't tell me anything except he can't remember. He said he wants to start over he is sorry. But it is on my mind ALL OF THE TIME!! I am on a constant alert "What is he doing? Who is he talking to? Where was he at? Is that her over there I think he looked at her?" It's like I'm now in hell. My mind has me in a prison of it's own. It's physically and mentally making me sick. I don't' know what to do!!
2007-01-14 04:21:52 · 16 answers · asked by Uriko 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to choose to leave this abusive relationship far behind you. And he is abusing you, if only emotionally at the moment.
Tell him to get out, and not come back. Once a man has given himself permission to cheat, he will always cheat. Maybe not with THIS particular woman, but certainly with another. You don't need to go through that aggravation daily. Dump him.
Right now you have a baby that is dependant on it's mom being the very best mother she can be. You can not do that if you are agonizing over any man.
Do not take him back once he is gone. HE WILL try, and he will promise all sorts of things. He may even be wonderful for a short while. But he will ALWAYS revert to his old habits in the end.
I saw one friend's Mom go through this with my friend's Dad. She forgave him many times, and allowed him another chance, because she loved him. He continued to cheat. Finally, after 18 years of agonized, almost daily emotional abuse, the woman found the courage to tell him to get out and stay out. She told me that it was a decision she should have made in the beginning. The only thing she earned by waiting so long to act, was the knowledge that she had wasted the best years of her life trying to believe in a dream that never existed.
Giving him multiple chances is not worth the heartache, and you will NEVER have a secure stable relationship with him.
2007-01-14 04:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anastasia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the first instance if you loose trust you should not carry on. But there is always the other side of the coin. Why is he doing this? Does he really love you? Has there been any confrontation between you and him. Did you say him any thing offensive? Such type of introspection is required. Killing a relationship is very easy but building it takes a lot of time. You got married which was based on trust and love. I wish you talk to him and remind him of the relationship you have with him. Repose trust and start life again.
Best of luck.
2007-01-14 04:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by Tony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry this has happened to you. Someone once told me that for a man sex is recreation, for a women there is emotional attachment. He can truly love you but if he has a poor self-image he will need strokes from many women to feel okay. It has nothing to do with any lack in you...it is the lack in him. Also the Bible says in the last days men will wax worse and worse so if he is not grounded in a spiritual life I doubt he will improve. At least if someone is seeking out a spiritual life they will be trying to become a better person. God bless you and my heart goes out to you. I've been there, done that and they can make you feel crazy like it is in your own head. Don't let him do that to you. Mmm
2007-01-14 04:33:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Without trust you don't have a two way relationship. I was in a similar relationship with my first wife. She actually abandoned our children and moved in with another guy, when I was in training in the Army. I was a day away from losing my children to CPS invasion...I rescued them, got divorced, and am now married to a good Christian woman. Surprisingly, 11 years later, my children have chosen to be with their mother, whom they hardly knew or remembered (she's married to a retired military man with good income)...and they have no rules, can smoke 'blunts', and stay up at all hours of the night...and I heard the eldest had to repeat 11th grade. For you and your child's sake, move on! There are plenty of decent fellows out there who would make a great step-dad...and loving husband. Look for someone who is well balanced in all areas...and who has faith in God (Allah/Jehovah/Yahweh according to which belief is yours).
2007-01-14 07:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by Jalapinomex 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I loved my husband he cheated...he swore he'd never do it again...he cheated again and again finally he said he wanted a divorce he needed to "FIND HIMSELF" We were married for sixteen years he left me for a younger woman she moved in two weeks after I moved out. Her son moved into my sons room, the large outside toys I could not take as there was no room in the truck (I was going to get them later) became her sons toys.
Waiting and wondering when and if is not a fun way to live, my sons heart was broken. I think it would be better to go now before your child falls in love with his dad then to wait until your child has established a good solid relationship with the man. I have a picture of my son his eyes are sparkly his smile genuine the year after the divorce the sparkle was gone. Run don't walk to the nearest exit you and your child deserve better!!!
2007-01-14 05:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by tammy c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's time for you to move on. He doesn't seem ready to settle down. I was in a similar situation a few years ago and in my opinion it doesn't get better right away. He has some things he needs to work out before he can be faithful, if he can be faithful. Hopefully he'll be a better father than boyfriend.
Good luck.
2007-01-14 04:26:39 · answer #6 · answered by LifesAMystery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing! My ex-boyfriend was the same way and I still miss him and think that I should take him back. Talking and texting other women was not his only issue. I think we like to wear blinders to the men that we love and its pretty scary what we put ourselves through. I am thinking that he could earn your trust back, but like my ex, he sounds like a dog and they don't change, he doesnt sound like hes going to change. Good luck.
2007-01-14 04:29:05 · answer #7 · answered by alexandria1_1999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no relationship can survive without trust. You deserve better, break it off, but stay in touch for the child's sake. Plus it obvious that he's lying and cheating.
2007-01-14 04:28:26 · answer #8 · answered by Krishy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its totally up to you...It sad when someone breaks your heart...but these things do happen...there isno good reason...but if he is truly sorry and wont do it again......you have to give him that chance and let go...or else it will never work....those that live in the past r destined to repeat it
2007-01-14 04:41:42 · answer #9 · answered by eldiablo0731 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO N-O ! Do not do it. I know it is tough but don't try to believe he will ever change. You need harmony,support,peace,caring, lots of trust. He wont change not any time soon. I ditch men who treat me that way and they are attracted to that treatment. So just tell him to blow it out his AAAAAAAAAz!
2007-01-14 04:35:53 · answer #10 · answered by running 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋