could you please help me?

Question

Hey yall..my name is katie..i used to cut but have stopped..i have stopped for a bout 2 months now..my boyfriend is very supportive and has been helping me stop but i still want to do it..the last time i stopped i had stopped for about 2 moths also..im kinda worried im gonna break it and do it again! what should i do its all i think about and its all i ever want to do..escpecially right now because i have alot of stress going on..can you please help me?

Answer 1

Hi Katie,

Congratulations on changing your behaviour! You are right to seek some ideas and support to ensure you don't go back to cutting.

I am not a cutter but know all too well that I could be, I understand the desire to cut and how that seems to give a person the idea that they are releasing the pain and hurt inside them. Though I also understand that if cutting really did release the pain the you would not want to do it again and again.

To continue on the path you are on now, that is to say, to prevent you from going back to cutting you should be looking at making some lifestyle changes that will help you cope in a better way and also to help you feel beter inside yourself.

I have given the answer below a few times before here on the Answers website but have expanded it a great deal for you to try and give you as much information as I can to help you.

I suffer from depression, anxiety, panic attacks and stress....

I can not take any of the medicines that doctors prescribe for these conditions they tend to make me worse... so I have had to do the following to keep myself on an even keel... However these things work with medication as well. So if you are on medication keep taking them and add these things to your life as well.

Find a good counsellor attend sessions weekly for three months... take a break then do it again... repeat as long as is required.. When you first go to the counsellor sit down and work out one or two things you would like to achieve through counselling and write them down. Talk to the counsellor about working on these one or two things and tell them your goal is to work on these things. You might make a list that says:
1) Have some strategies of what to do instead of thinking about cutting.
2) Work on finding the good things about myself.
By having a goal you will find counselling far more effective and know why you are going there. Attending counselling for a set period of time gives you an exit from counselling. Taking a break of a month or two lets you get on with life and integrate what you learned in counselling before going back.
When you go back to counselling go with a list in hand. You may want to work some more on something from your first list and that is fine and then add something new too.
so your list may read
3) Learn some strategies that help me deal with feelings rather than cutting myself.
4) Get some information about healthy relationships
and each time you go back for a few months of counselling take your list with you and add something new to it. In this way you have an ongoing record of the things you have dealt with and learned and how you have grown.

Exercise: This is not the 101 situps ten mile run kind of exercise..... Just simple exercise like walking swimming or cycling for at least 20 minutes each day... do this very day... do not push yourself too hard at first walk powerfully enough to start tofeel your heart working and then slow dow a bit then build it up again..Do not hurt yourself or push yourself too hard or fast...be kind to yourself even if it takes you a year before you can exercise steadily for 20 minutes that doesnt matter it is just important that you do this daily and do it with gentleness towards yourself. Exercise helps move feelings up and out of your body! And you have the added benefit of becoming fitter, stronger, more able to do things for yourself along the way. Nervous energy and stress are worked out of your system through exercise too.

Eat fresh foods as much as possible. include grains fruit and vegetables in every meal... be creative when preparing meals and use a lot of colourful foods to make eating a true pleasure. Prepare and eat your food while listening to some pleasant music. Make eating a wonderful gift to yourself. Also try a new food each month. Eat something you have never eaten before. Find a fruit or vegetable or grain you have never eaten and try it. This adds to the wonder of healthy food and makes you look forward to new tastes.

Drink more water: Water flushes toxins out of your system drink lots of water...

Don't drink or eat things that are high in sugar, white flour, or caffeine. sugar and caffeine both add to nervous energy and stress. For a real sweet craving try eating a banana or some grapes instead.

Alcohol and caffeine both make depression worse, but the worst thing is that they give you a temporary feeling of being better but then you get worse so avoid them both.

Take a multi B vitamin tablet every day. B vitamins are important for healthy nerves and will make you feel more energetic and make you feel better.

Take up a creative pursuit: this can be gardening (nothing fancy here stick a geranium cutting in some dirt and add water) drawing ( a pencil and paper and away you go) music make music with whatever you have, paint, write anything that gets the creative energy flowing, When creative energy is flowing it is like you are taking all of those feelings of yours and harnessing them into a positive activity.

Learn to pray, meditate and or contemplate.... there is lots of info on the net about prayer and meditation and contemplation means just being quiet with yourself... noticing little things, allowing your mind to gently explore things..

Join an interest group... real time gatherings are best rather than net groups... spending time with other people who have a common interest is an easier way of being with people as the focus is not on you or them but rather on the topic at hand, there are interest groups for many different kinds of interests, lapidary groups (gemstones rocks etc), writers groups, local history groups, motor cycle clubs, land regeneration groups, photography groups, parenting groups, walking groups (bush walking, power walking), pet care groups, charitable groups and organisations. Find a group that you share an interest with and get involved.

Listen to music that you enjoy and explore a whole range of music like indigenous music from various countries, classical music, opera, rock, blues, listen to many kinds of music and build your cd collection. Music really is food for the soul.

Spend time sitting on the ground leaning against a big old tree.. feel the earth supporting your weight, notice how the tree supports your spine allow yourself to feel safe and supported by the universe. Notice too how the tree supports life and how it is supported by the life of the creatures around it. See the ants working busily in the soil around the tree, the birds nesting or roosting in its branches, people resting in its shade, see how such very different things work together to make life possible and more comfortable for one another.

Spend time outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air... the sun interacts with your body to create some happy chemicals in your body. The fresh air allows your lungs to breathe in and circulate more oxygen.

Laugh! Get some comedy cds or dvds or go out to comedy shows and funny movies. Buy a good joke book and read it. Learn a new joke each week and share the joke with others. Spend time allowing yourself to build up to a good belly laugh. Hang out with people who are funny.

Keep a daily journal. You dont need to record everything. Just record some of your activities, thoughts and ideas for each day.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF
There is no point in being hard on yourself, being negative about yourself, putting youself down.... trust me there are enough people on the planet who will do that for you so don't you do it too.... Instead find the good things about yourself and remind yourself about all of the good things about you.. When you think of good things about yourself record them in your journal... When someone compliments you record that too. When you succeed at something write it down. Keep a record of your successes and positive points.

You can of course combine several of these things.... be outdoors with a group of people that are exercising and you will achieve several of these points in one go... So don't fret about this list seeming long... just introduce one or two of these things to your daily/weekly routine at a time and get used to doing it... don't make it too hard on yourself it is more important that you do these things than how well you do them... just add one and get used to it then add another...

Best of Luck with it all and I am sure you will find a way that suits you..

Answer 2

You need to read books that will improve your life and help you deal with stress. Meditation is good but if you realize the destiny of your life you will see that stress and problems actually help your soul grow. Cutting does no good and only scars your body. You are using it for a release from stress. Instead, try meditation, exercise, and reading. Anything to calm down. Through out your whole life you will have to deal with stress. It comes and it goes and those that do the best are the ones that can deal with it in a healthy way. Yoga, pilates, tae bo, akido and such are great ways to relieve stress. Try a class it can really change your outlook on life and help so much.
Here are some good books that can also change your life:

The Luck Factor by Dr Richard Wiseman
Soul Signs by Rosemary Althea
The Eagle and the Rose by Rosemary Althea
Any book by Sylvia Browne

Believe me when I say life can only get better. You have to work at it but it will reward you in the end.

Answer 3

I was a cutter, i stopped for a guy about 6 months ago, i know how hard it is. The best thing for you to do is, when your feeling the craving again, call someone, or go to a public place, even getting on the internet and talking to someone helps. That's how i stop from doing it. If you'd like to talk in deeper context, contact me.

Answer 4

relax. breathe. try not to get too excited about things and if you feel overwhelmed then take a break. read a book, watch a movie, talk to friends -- or your bf, or write in a jorunal. whatever makes you happy thats what you should do to take your mind off things for a bit.

Answer 5

Meditation, snap some rubber bands on your arms, get some ice, scream in your pillow.

Answer 6

Learn Meditation and do it daily anytime.
Visit my blog -http://ganapathi-wife.blogspot.com
To learn Meditation.