Which is better, if you still love them and they love someone else, after dumping you? As in, it hurts you to not be with them, and even though they're one of your best friends, everytime you talk to them all you can think about is 'why can't i be her'? I think I need to cut myself off from him, because it annoys his girlfriend (who happens to live on the other side of the country, where he used to live) that he and I are still friends. I don't know if he cares, but I'm planning on telling him I still love him and can't be around him because of it. Is that right?
2007-01-14 03:23:23 · 24 answers · asked by cowgirl91 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just wanted to add that he wanted a mutual break-up, but it was more of him breaking up with me. I just went with it because all I want is for him to be happy, whether I'm in the picture or not.
2007-01-14 03:32:20 · update #1
Another little add-in:
I'm going ot tell him I still love him and can't be around him because of it, that I need time to move on before we can be friends again without me feeling like I'm going to fie when his girlfriend rubs it in my face that he loves her and tells her that she's beautiful, like he used to tell me. I'm going to tell the truth and see if he cares. The thing is, I lied before and told him I'm over him. That's what I need to fix.
2007-01-14 04:13:58 · update #2
Cut off cut off and don't look back.
2007-01-14 03:28:12 · answer #1 · answered by Chillypepers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is the best thing for you to do right now. Down the road, if your paths cross again, maybe you could be friends but right now there are still too many emotions involved. I also agree that his present g/f probably isn't too happy about your friendship either. I respect you for thinking about her in such a mature way. Tell him that you love him and hope he will be happy. Go on with your life.
2007-01-14 03:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really varies on how you feel about being friends with your ex or choosing to stay away from them completely. If you don't want to be friends with your ex that is your choice, if you think the reason is that when you were in a relationship that some bad things happened. Usually it is not about right or wrong, it usually is up to the individual what they want to do.
2007-01-14 03:30:43 · answer #3 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are able to stay friends with exes. I've never had much luck with that myself because if someone hurts me then it's painful to be around them. It's easier to completely cut them out of my life so that I can heal & get over them, not keep re-opening the wound. Plus I wouldn't want to see them with someone else. It works for the reverse too, if I broke his heart then I wouldn't want to be a constant source of pain for him.
Unless it was a mutual break-up & you both just decided you'd rather be friends & no one got hurt & then you could still be friends but otherwise I think it's just too hard. Maybe that's just me. I tend to be sensitive...
2007-01-14 03:30:09 · answer #4 · answered by amp 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's definately better to cut yourself off from someone has treated you badly. It SHOULD be a consequence of their bad treatment of you that you no longer want to be in contact with them. You don't need to tell him anything. People who feel a need to make this type of declaration are usually hoping for a declaration of love (or at least like) from the other person. This is unlikely to be a truthful reflection of his feelings since he's already moved on. If I were you I'd spend my time addressing my self-esteem issues since only someone with low self-esteem would consider keeping someone in their life who's treated them badly.
2007-01-14 03:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya that is so right I had the same situation before I stilled loved my bf and he duped me for an other girl but every time I saw them it made me mad and now they broke up and now he is going out with my bff just tell him how u feel i did tell mine i did and just say what u r saying on here maybe he will feel the same way if u just talk to him
2007-01-14 03:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happen to me. I was dating a girl for 10 months and then she broke up with me. I fell into this depression state and closed myself off from her and pretty much everyone else. This was a terrible idea, because insted of actaully confronting her about what really happen I heard so many rumors as to why she left me. I heard that she cheated on me, or that she was intrested in someone else, and even that she was sleeping with someone before and after we broke up. I started to beleive this and in turn I began to hate her, at one point I just wanted her to disapere. About 3 months later I found someone new, and began to date. For the first 4 months of our relationship I was still hurting over my ex, and it was causing alot of problems with my gf. Then it all just went away and I thought I got over it, then several months later it came crashing back on me. My gf was getting pretty worried about me beating my self up and she was worried that I still had feeling for my ex.
Well, finially, I had enough and actaully talked to my ex. I learned that she didn't cheat on me, and that she only broke up with me because we were having some sexual problems that needed to stop. She thought that I didn't love her and that maybe if we took a break I would realize what I was doing and we could start over later. When I began dating someone else 3 months later though, it actaully broke her heart, and she said it still hurts. She said she made a huge mistake, because she had no idea how much I loved her untill after she left me, she thought this was something I could just walk away from. All the hate I felt from the false rumors made me forget that we wanted to try again someday.
Well, today, I'm not dating her, and I don't want to ever again. The main reason is I want to be with my current gf forever, and also I won't hurt my ex again. I'm still with the person I started dating after her. Been 1 year 3 months with her, and 1 and a half years after that last break-up. Finially now, I don't hurt anymore about my ex, and my current relationship is going great. My ex is ok with it to, and she wishes us best of luck.
So I think the moral of this story is don't shut yourself off from you ex. You won't feel better, it will only hurt you more. Try to be friends with him, and maybe someday you can have him back. Good luck!
2007-01-14 03:47:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this a trick question i understand what you are saying..If there is a possibility of you two getting back together i guess i would say something, otherwise get him out of your life and move on because everytime you see him you feel these emotions. you already no the answer you just have to make the right decision.
2007-01-14 03:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by sirjames 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was friends before we got serious, but had to take a sabbatical after we broke up. I needed time to get over being in love with him, so I could go back to liking him, and just being friends.
2007-01-14 03:28:36 · answer #9 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stay friends with our ex, but not be totally connected to him..Don't spend every sec of the day with him, maybe once a week. If you talk too much you'll find you like him.
2007-01-14 03:30:16 · answer #10 · answered by singforjesus247 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it hurts but, that was then and this is now. Make the break and move on will be better in the long run adnit hurts less overall.
2007-01-14 03:27:46 · answer #11 · answered by barefoot_always 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋