my 9 year old daughter has an attitude of a 17 year old. everyime she is ask to do something that she dont want to, its all out war. it mainly occurs when it has something to do with cleaning. ( her room helping me do the rest of the house. i am having some medical trouble where i cant lift a laundry basket and carry down stairs so if my husband isnt her i ask her and it used to be fine i hardly ask that of her. she knows she has to have responsiblities but she defies them terribly. and now my 7 year old is following in older sisters footsteps.
2007-01-14 03:05:01 · 10 answers · asked by mommie 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I would simply remove her priveleges when she refuses to fulfill her family obligations. If she can't contribute then will not be able to reap the rewards (ie allowance, trips out with friends, new clothes, etc.) Or simply stop helping her when she asks you. Not to the point of cruelty, but so she gets the point. You are not her slave and she needs to be grateful for all you do for her!
2007-01-14 03:14:53 · answer #1 · answered by Em 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same place with my 10 year old son. I thought I had a couple more years to go before the teenage attitude would kick in, but I guess they are "maturing" faster these days. lol
I'm trying to remove privelages not just for what he does (or does not do), but also for what he says (or how he says it). For instance when he says "Gah!!!!" or "Why not?!?!" too many times, I will invoke a rule that using that comment will result in 24 hours of no computer or Wii, or TV, or phone, or whatever. This works better at some times than at others.
I don't think starting the teen attitude early means they will finish it early. I think we'll have to survive many years of this attitude. Good luck to you, and to all parents of tweens!
2007-01-14 04:11:12 · answer #2 · answered by okiehel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone else above me seems pretty accurate on how to deal with your nine year old... However, it sounds to me that she's imitating big sister... I recommend that you straighten out the 17-year-old before working on the younger one. A lot of behavior-adjusting work comes from "tricking" the individual into doing something right.
As their mother, you know what makes them tick, thus you know (or have a good idea) of how they will react to certain situations. Gauging off of that mentality, I'll leave the "trap-setting" to you.
Remedying these behaviors may take time, but will be worthwhile. As long as your 9-year-old doesn't try and bare children or bring home the bad boys and try to convince you that she can 'change them,' I'll wager that she'll be okay in the long run. ;-)
2007-01-14 06:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is almost 10 going on 20 so I can relate. I think it's normal for girls who are approaching puberty to behave this way. In your case though, your daughter really should be of more assistance to you with your handicap. Deprive her of some favorite things if she consists with the attitude and lack of respect for you.
2007-01-14 04:48:20 · answer #4 · answered by Teddy Bear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never acted like then when I was 9, but then again, my parents put a healthy fear in me that I better do what I was supposed to or there would be a price to pay. If she is 9 and does not already have this fear ( and she must not ) then you have to just be firm with her. Every time she decides not to help you, decide to take away something that she loves. This doesn't have to stop with phone, TV or going out with friends...hell, take away her favorite pair of shoes. Those new jeans she just got? They can be gone too. Have your husband give a hand with disciplining her as well. And make sure that you remind your daughter that you could careless if she wears the same outfit to school everyday. Children nowadays do not realize that you do not have to buy them the latest fashions or let them go off with their friends, it's all privilege and should be earned. Good luck with getting her tamed!!!
2007-01-14 03:28:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's probably going through puberty. It's the hormones. Some girls reach puberty faster than others. She may start her peirod soon. It is common for girls to develop attitudes during this harsh period of their lives. Trust me, I know. I wish you the best through this rough period of your life, but just keep in mind that it will soon be over, and she will finally start acting like your sweet little girl again =)!
2007-01-14 06:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by The_Pink_One 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
most 9 years old girl do that...coz they want more rest and go with friends and do things by themselves. but thats not right, if you will ask her something to do, tell her calmly and patiently and make her know that you understand what she going through instead of scolding her and raising voice, coz thats part of growing up.. Im sure she will understand and take her responsibility easily...they need more understanding and advice in their age. younger siblings always look at their older siblings as their model.
2007-01-14 03:16:03 · answer #7 · answered by MOMMY_G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are experiencing medical problems, she may be frightened. That can be expressed by young children as anger. You were not specific - and the nature of your situation could have a direct impact on her behavior. She might react differently to illness vs. pregnancy, initial illnes vs. ongoing illness, etc.
If it was okay before but it's "war" now, something has changed. Ask her why her attitude has changed so much. Keep redirecting the conversation away from blame or scolding back to trying to find out what she's thinking. Explain calmly that you need a little extra help right now. If it's temporary, explain that. Mention the times you or others have given help to her when she needed it. Explain that it's simply what people who care about each other do : we help each other and take care of each other.
2007-01-14 03:22:56 · answer #8 · answered by Basia 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the tween years. My 8 year old does that too. It's pretty normal and pretty frustrating.
2007-01-14 03:39:23 · answer #9 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You poor thing! I know what it is like - the only consolation is that you get the teen bad behaviour over with early!! My daughter was the same - and she was fine when she reached her teens!!
2007-01-14 03:12:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋