My guy friend has no self confidence, what can i do?

Question

My guy friend has no self confidence. He's 24 and has had it very rough, being homeless, money trouble etc. He has no family around and only a couple of friends. He is really trying to get back on track now, even giving up smoking which i am so proud of him. But like he says he'll never get a girlfriend cos these days they only want a guy with money and top jobs etc. I keep telling him that is not true but he won't have it. Thing is i have developed strong feelings for him but daren't say anything cos of the way he is. I also believe he really likes me but he won't say anything either cos of it too. He's often said if i say i like a famous guy that "he wouldn't be good enough". I know he feels confident around me, he's always mucking about an joking etc and he talks to me openly which is good but how can i make him see things differently? I think i've also made the mistake of flirting with him a bit too much but it was only to try and make him see i like him, what else can i do?

Answer 1

Tell him to make small goals.. everytime he complete's one.. make another and eventually make it a little larger than the first goal.. Maybe that will boost his self esteem. Sometimes people get their attention from having people feel sorry for them.. and it just becomes a habit.. Another thing is try affirmations. Look up a site on the internet regarding positive affirmations. Tell him to do it daily for 30 days.. One of the best books I ever read was in the 70's. So much common sense.. the book, "How to live 365 days a year".. Forgot the MD's name.. try it.. you can still buy it. try Amazon.com

Answer 2

Sounds like you've gotten to know him and like him as a person. I understand that you wouldn't want to pursue someone who wouldn't be able to contribute financially because everyone needs money in order to survive in this world. If he is willing to get a job and gets back on his feet, you can pursue him then. He needs to focus on that aspect before dating. You're doing the right thing by being a friend to him and boosting his confidence. Thats what he needs people who are like you to support him and give him good advice. I'm sure everything will work out in the end. Good luck.

Answer 3

Lorraine, First step back and look at it from afar. Your friend has problems that will stay with him for a lifetime if he doesnt search out help with his selfpity. He may be a very good person but it sounds like he plays on your emotions to get your attention. Thats called control of your emotions by him. We all need to feel equal and it sounds like he plays with your emotions. It may not be intentional but a learned process he has used to survive in his hard life. Good Luck I hope this helps give you some insight.

Answer 4

i recognize the position your coming, I too went by skill of this in severe college. truly honestly you're going to ought to escape of your shell, yet at your %.. do not bypass off of a timeline, it truly is as your mushy with it. From what you've revealed, you've already got many stuff on your want. ladies attitude you and praise you. That on my own is large! you only favor to attempt to proceed a communique with this kind of females. do not problem about your voice or smile. you're nevertheless youthful and probability is, your body and voice will proceed to modify. do not concentration on the temporary. attempt talking to a woman you've continuous contact with and construct from that. believe me, it receives a lot less complicated with time. good success Champ!

Answer 5

You feel like you do for him out of pity its called mother complex. Some girls like bad boys, some like weak/hurt guys.

Answer 6

This is a no-brainer...if you want to give him some self-confidence, give him some p*ssy.