is it normal for a married couple to pay all the house bills 50-50 even if he makes more than her?

Question

i moved from my country to switzerland, for my husband. we got married, and i got a job where i just started. now he wants to pay all the bills half him, half myself, even if he makes almost twice my salary. and he uses one of the rooms as his lawyer's office at home (he has an office downtown as well). And i am away more than he does, about 4 hours a day more than him, and i spend about 5-6 days a month away from home because of my business trips. Oh, and even if now we are 2, the rent is the same, in fact all the bills are the same as when he was all alone. thanks.

Answer 1

I think every couple is different. I make 3x times more than my wife, but I pay all the bills. However, when I see her credit card bills creeping up, I make sure to let her know that she needs to keep her spending in check. I would talk to him about your concern. Let him no that you are willing to pay for your fair share of the bills, but you do not agree that all bills should be split 50/50 because he makes more money than you do.

Answer 2

I am not sure why the 50-50 thing? Are you married or still dating? It seems like something people would do BEFORE they are married. I don't think this is normal by any means. From what I have experienced, most couples just have a joint account that both paychecks go into and then all of the money equally is used to pay bills. You are a unit now--you have joined in marriage and even though you are two separate people still, you should work as a unit. It seems like too much of a hassle to try and figure out--who is going to pay what and what half of this or that. Some couples decide to keep their finances separate and keep separate bank accounts, but this doesn't really make sense to me either. I have a friend who says it is so if she has to leave her husband, she'll have some money of her own. I am sorry, but that is not something I would want to base a relationship on--it implies that there are already problems to begin with! Paying bills and taxes is just so much easier with a joint bank account. I guess I don't understand why people don't just pool all of their money together and then have one main account. Our rule is that if we are going to spend more than like $100, we ask first. That way one of us isn't going out debiting a bunch at the same time as the other. And, it is definately unfair that you pay the same portion and make less. So, I think you should definately talk to him about this and work something else out. Remember that marriage is a union and should be treated as such.

Answer 3

You better get it all figured out before you get married. Money is one of the biggest reasons why couples end up divorced, or should I say lack thereof. By your theory, you make three times more, so you should pay 75% and she should pay 25%. Three things here sort of bother me. First, "I'm not going to have her just stay home.." that seems to be a unilateral decision and not a compromise. If you love her then you would want to provide for her. Second, "tradional stay at home housewife" seems like something Archie Bunker would say, but even Edith didn't work. When you have young children, it is very important for them to get that bonding time with their mother, if it is possible for her to devote her full attention to them. Third, "a 50 year old guy with a 21 year old.." is definitely a sugar daddy, or a man fighting hard in a mid-life crisis. Marriage should be 50/50 on all issues, earnings should be shared, as should bills, duties around the house, and responsibilities. However, if you are going to keep score, and are unwilling to go above and beyond what you consider your share, then you are destined to fail. Love is caring, sharing, not comparing.

Answer 4

I think it should be done fairly like you each pay a percentage of your take home salary which will leave you both with extra money for yourselves to save or do whatever with and if he makes a lot more he will end up with more money left over but if he makes a lot more money then you it is NOT fair to split bills 50/50 I would not agree to that it is not fair!! but what works for some couples doesn't work for others you need to find what works best for both of you maybe you both pay half of rent or mortgage whatever it is and he pays the more expensive bills then you but you still contribute and pay the little bills cable and phone good luck but you need to sit down and talk to him ask him how he would feel if you were making a lot more then him but paid the same amount each month as he did!... What about a joint account where EVERY ONES money goes into so your money is his and his money is yours and then you pay all of the bills and you each have get a certain amount of money at the end of month "your personal spends" and the rest goes into savings for a new house, car or a trip or maybe when you have kids ... I don't know if that would work it's just a suggestion but you really need to sit down and have a talk with him tell him how you feel

Answer 5

Every couple decides how to do this to their own taste.

Apparently you are not happy with the arrangement he suggests. Do a budget, determine what you need each month for personal expenses, and let him know what you feel would be a reasonable amount for you to contribute.

There was a good reason why you left your home and came to him. Remember the qualities you admired in your husband, and calmly and respectfully work this out as partners.

Our incomes are devoted to our individual debts. We contribute as needed to the rent and Gas and Electric bills. I pay the house phone, and he covers the cell phones, he pays the cable, I buy the groceries. On many occasions we have covered for the other partner. We each have three children, and provide for them as needed.

Working out the financial issues takes time and patience. Give the man some time to adjust, be patient, and in his good judgement (and yours) you will find a comfortable agreement.

One night when you are communicating well you may want to ask why, all of a sudden, he requires for you to pay half of his standard bills. He may have a reason.

Answer 6

All couples are different, but it sounds like this arrangement isn't working for you. Most couples I know basically have the person making the most paying the majority of the bills. For example, if he makes 70% of the total income, he would pay 70% of the total bills. On the other hand, my husband and I split the majority of the bills, but since I am the only one who watches TV or uses the long distance on the telephone I pay for that, and since he is the only one that wants the ultra-high speed Internet, he pays for that. Everyone couple has to make their own financial agreements, but it has to work for both of them. If this isn't working for you, than you have to change it, whether it is normal or abnormal or whatever else.

Answer 7

Household bills should not be paid 50/50 unless they're your room mate.

I can give you an idea since my fiance' and I have discussed this. Anyway, we're going to set up a joint account for everything. Now, whether we want to set up seperate accounts on the side is up to us as an individual, which we can only use a certain % of hour earnings towards that and let it build up to get the things we "want" for ourselves and not as a married couple.

Example: Me wanting to get my hair done will not come out of our joint account because it's a personal thing. Now, if we BOTH want hi-speed internet access, we'll take that out of the joint account.

Just remember this... When you are married, you work as a team. In reality, whether that person makes higher or lower than you is BS, because what matters is how much you have all together.

Answer 8

I make more than my b/f at the moment, so I have taken on a few of the bills myself, we pay 50/50 in rent, and I pay gas, electric and council tax, he pays the water rates, the TV license and most of the food bills. However, if either one of us needs money we know we can ask the other for money, I refuse to have a joint account (having had money stolen from me in the past) but all the money we make is basically "our" money anyway.

Answer 9

I don't think there is any such thing as "normal" when it comes to these things. It all comes down to a couple working out the distribution of labor and finances in a way that suits both of them. It sounds like this arrangement doesn't suit you, so my advice is to tell him that. It sounds like you just accepted his way without bargaining for a compromise.

Personally, I think couples should pool their money and decide how much "spending money" each should get once all the bills are paid. Otherwise your relationship doesn't end up being like a shared partnership. It's more like you're two roommates sharing expenses and quibbling over who paid for what.

At the very least if he is looking for a fair distribution of money, you should be paying an amount towards your living expenses together that is proportionate to your individual incomes. Otherwise, it is not really split fairly. And I don't like what his expectation of you says about him and his attitude towards your relationship in general. That's my opinion, anyway!

Answer 10

I would say that you should discuss this together! This is nothing that shoud be based on what everyone else int he world does, this is what will work best for the TWO OF YOU!
In my marraige I pay all of the bills (house note, house ins, electricity, utilities, Satelite, Phone, cell phones, etc) and he pays his truck note and truck ins. He spends way more money on his hobbies and interests without thinking twice about life expenses, so I took over paying the bills, that way I knew that the money would be there when I got ready to pay them! I know that I'm not going out spending the money on random things, so I KNOW that it will be there for me to write checks!
This causes some tension because I don't agree with it, but someone has to be responsible and make sure things are paid. I would definately suggest that you two come up with a plan together and make sure it works for both ofyou and not just one of you!
good luck, I feel for you!