severe body consciousness (i think)?

Question

ok lets see im a guy so i dont think this is very normal as i know i shouldnt care but u dunno, im 16 now....when i was younger i was fat, i had 2 years of torment from my brother "thunder thighs, porker etc so that wasnt good at all, i lost that weight and then i had a hairstyle everyone mocked me 4 on the bus, i then changed it and i was fine, i was then sick of my hair so died it blackad light brown) i loved it but everyone else tormented me about it, i even had year 5's calling me emo, all day every day people commenting, i then had enough and tried getting it back but it went orange, ok delt with it but then one day i snapped, i could not walk out the door, every morning i stared into mirror 4 hours hyperventilating, i missed 4 weeks of school and nearly didnt get my school certificate. totally obsessed with mirorrs or reflec my hair is back t normal but i wear a hat 24/7 i wont even let my parents see me without it on, i now get crap for wearing the hat..is this bad, wat do i do

im not a confrontational guy, id rather just ignore people, just some more info, i wont walk out a door if my hair isnt right, wont let ANYONE touch my hair, worried ive used 2 much product or i havent rubbed it in enough and you see it, i look at EVERYONES eyes to mke sure there not looking at my hair, i compare everyones hair to my own, i get into horrible little states where i cant help but cry because i cant get it right then hyperventilate.

Answer 1

its not you its them! you have been put down so much that you now believe what people are saying to you. you need to believe in yourself. you are who you are, you are unique in your own way, we are all different for a reason and you need to start believing in yourself and get yourself back on track and be who you are, you only live liffe once enjoy it :-)

Answer 2

Your question will have to be handled by someone more adept in this area of psychology, so please, someone chime in here.

I will add that those who have picked at you are certainly MORE disturbed than you are.

I was a target in school myself. I was called 'rabbit' because my name was Robin. This tormented me. Then I had a big nose, therefore I was called 'Snozzola'. I actually had plastic surgery done when I was sixteen but....after that I was called 'queer'. (I later realized I was gay, but that's a whole other topic. And I don't mean imply you are gay-I'm just telling you my own story.)

All I know is that some are Targets and the others are Target-ers. Kids who do this are cruel beyond measure.
I wish I could cure the world of it's curelty of one another
but it is beyond my power. Just begin to learn how to love yourself. You have a very low self-esteem. You have got to learn to love yourself and it won't be easy. I wish I had the power to heal you.

You have to find the self-constitutional (strength within) to begin to love yourself. This can only be accomplished from within yourself. No one can ever make this happen for you, although they might help you navigate the way.

"To thine own self be true..." from "Hamlet" and "physician, heal thy self..." from the Bible.

God bless you - best of luck