What Do Youu Think????

Question

. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all
the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
Self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?
19. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road
signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
23. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "s" in it?
30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become
disoriented?
34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?

Answer 1

I try not to think when I'm on answers.
They are very clever,I'm printing them out for my friends.

Answer 2

Generally aren't all generalizations false?

There are many people scared of heights so why aren't there many people scared of widths? ( I Know I Am. Fat people creep me out.)

Have you noticed that the weaker our arguments are the stronger the words we have to use?

If God is love and love is blind then isn't it a logical conclusion that God is blind? And if so how could God make man in his own image?

If the pen is mightier than the sword then how can actions speak louder than words?

Don't you think the chicken came first? Wouldn't God look rather silly sitting on an egg?

Who cares whether the glass is half full or half empty? Shouldn't the question be who’s been drinking out of my glass?

Why isn't it OK to fall asleep in Church? After all, didn't God rest on the seventh day as well?

Why don't people realize that going to church doesn't make them a Christian any more than going to a garage makes them a mechanic?

Answer 3

Loved all of them. Wow talk about a bunch good jokes all lined up for you. lol. I hope you didn't write all of your jokes I would love to read more.

Answer 4

those wer awsum. number 36 after proud ffb's,

Do Bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?

Answer 5

I like them but some of them do not make sense!

Can u explain?

Answer 6

nice q'tions

# 6 is incomplete

Answer 7

those lines were absolutely fantastic! please find more and add! thanks!
35. why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
is that good?!