My wedding isn't until November, but I'm worried about inviting my co-workers. They are ALL women who sit around doing paperwork. I like each of them and they could bring some fun to the night, but they are also very gossipy and "cat-ish".
For example, my one co-worker who I take lunch with daily and is a good friend, has had a lot of issues with the office, especially with one woman, who I like only superficially. My friend was basically alienated/harassed into a different area in our department.
I'd like to invite everyone, but it's going to be a small, cheap wedding and I don't want to come back from my honeymoon to hear everyone's been gossiping or ridiculing the reception or my family. In the past, they've done it. Also, I don't want to deal with the tension it would bring having my friend and the rest of the office together outside the work place. I'm going to be stressed enough.
Should I just invite the couple of co-workers that I'm close to or everyone?
2007-01-14 02:11:58 · 10 answers · asked by Up an Evolutionary Tree 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I've tried pretty hard for years to never associate outside the work place, but this is a situation where I'd like a few there.
2007-01-14 03:02:32 · update #1
Well if you know that by inviting them you are also inviting gossiping about your wedding I would say to not invite any of your co-workers. That way there should be no gossiping about your wedding, and the ones that you are friends with should understand that it is a small wedding/reception and should not have a problem with not getting invited. If you invite just your friends from work, I am not saying this is right so don't get me wrong, but that would probably just bring more tension into the work place. Some people would probably feel left out, rejected. Anyways, best of luck in whichever you decide to do.
2007-01-15 16:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just inviting a couple of co-workers that you are close to is not going to stop gossip.
I wouldn't invite any co-workers at all. If the question arises, then I would say it was just a small family wedding and let it go at that because if you elaborate it will just add fuel to the fire.
A big mistake many people make is thinking that co-workers are their life long friends. They are not. They are people you work with and that is all. You might retain a friendship from a place you worked at after you move on from that place, but it's very rare as the basis for the friendship, the place you both worked at, is gone.
Don't feel bad or guilty. Invite the people you truly want there.
2007-01-14 10:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would invite only the ones you wish to have there. If you have a couple of friends that you are close to, and do things outside of work with, too, then invite them.
But, don't talk about your wedding at work! And tell your friends not to mention it either. If you are close to the two or three, you can discuss it with them outside of the office.
If anyone asks about the wedding, just say it is going to be only for family and close friends. You certainly don't have to give any details!
2007-01-15 05:17:02 · answer #3 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I struggled with that EXACT question when I got married, and for exactly the same reason: all of the little petty backstabbing biddies I worked with. Initially my plan was to not even mention the wedding at my office, but the Queen Bee found out about it anyway and started making plans to attend uninvited along with one or two of the others. So I just threw up my hands and sent a single invitation addressed to Myoffice c/o My Division @ My Company, Inc. In the end my Boss and wife were the only ones that showed up, so I guess I dodged a bullet.
Months later my husband came to the office for a lunch date; afterwards he couldn't have even reached the elevator before Biddy #3 complimented the shape of his BUTT directly to me!!!!
2007-01-14 10:46:26 · answer #4 · answered by Evita Rodham Clinton 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definatley only invite your friend you are close with from work, or not invite anyone at all from work....it's definately a trickly situation, but it's your wedding and YOUR DAY....you aren't obligated to invite the whole office....it's not like when you bring cookies to work and you have to bring enough for everyone....undoubtedly you will here some complaining and get some pressure to invite more people from the office, but if you want to enjoy your day stick to your guns.....simply say "it was really difficult narrowing down the guest list, but i had to do it to stay within the budget...i'm so sorry that i couldn't invite you, but i'll be sure to bring in all the pictures to the office to show everyone"
good luck
2007-01-14 13:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by SNAP! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite the few that you really like and that don't gossip. Not that you need to explain, but, should you feel obligated to do so, simply say that while you would like to have them there, you are limited in the number you can invite.
No need for extra stress.
2007-01-14 10:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Invite only those you are closest to. FYI in every job place there is
a person or two that is going to gossip and criticize and belittle
everything or everyone - ignore them and don't get caught up in their viciousness - don't let their insecurities affect you . Congratulations and Good Luck in your marriage.
2007-01-14 10:21:27 · answer #7 · answered by margie c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally would only invite those who i feel close to, and who i think would make my big day more fun with minimal to no chance of doing anything to ruin it. as u said, its just a small wedding, so you dont need to invite a whole bunch of people that you arent really sure about.
2007-01-14 12:03:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you work with people you are under no obligation to include them in your social life and that includes your wedding.
Invite those whom you consider to be friends and to hell with the rest of them.
2007-01-14 10:17:44 · answer #9 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's why I never mix business with friendship. Just a couple that you are close with should do.
2007-01-14 10:15:36 · answer #10 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋