Manliness...?

Question

I won't give you a biography, but a short summary of it:
I've never had a dad. I was raised with a sister. I was raised by all women. My name is Gabe, so in my younger days I was teased and called "gay Gabe." I'm sure I am not gay, although most people think that a guy without a dad, and raised by women, is gay.
I don't have a lisp, but I sometimes do talk with my hands.

I hate fitting the stereotype, cookie-cutter, gay guy. Not that I have a problem with them, but imposting that personality on me is killing me. How do I deal with this? I want to be more of a man.
(I was also a late-bloomer, which is usually devastating to young boys who watch their peers rocket up, while they remain tiny.)

I'm 19 and still can't grow a beard...

I guess it's a lot of inferiority.

No one really calls me "gay" anymore. At least not to my face.
I just never really fit in with the guys. It makes me angry. The majority of my friends are girls.

Answer 1

I know how it feels being surrounded by a daily mental abuses. Its gets us down, feeling inferior to the rest. Doesn't matter how much people tell not to care about what others say, because we care. After all, we don't live in a isolated island. We have to socialize and socialize in a positive ways, to make us feel good, otherwise, we will feel depress all the time.
I guess, the only advice I can give to you is to direct your efforts and energy on things you enjoy doing it. If you enjoy doing something, the chances of you doing it from right to perfect its very high and people will admire you because of that.
Don't try to prove them you are not gay, by doing something you are not ready for or don't feel right about it. Most of the time, I did something to please others, it ends up not to be enough or not good enough. Real friends and people whom loves us, knows us intimacy to know exactly what we are about and no need us to be proving whom we really are.
PS: Most of the women, does not like men with facial hair ( I am a women and my female friends feels the same about men's facial hair), plus facial hair isn't masculinity's sign, otherwise, no men would shave but gay men.

Answer 2

That's what the world is all about. People aren't sensitive to what other people may feel.

First of all being gay is a personal thing. Whatever happens in the bed room is their business and not ours.

As for the people who pick on you, just ignore their vile. If you believe in Karma then you would see their kids being bullied by other children later on in life or they will suffer in another way.

You've been raised by a perfect strong woman and you should be considered as being very fortunate.

I think i'm like you a lot. I'm a late bloomer too. We should be proud that we don' grow old too fast. Look at it this way, people spend billions of dollars around the world to look slim and young. We have it all naturally!!!

You are more manly than them. They're just insecure ruffians. I hope they all rot in hell or get their due in this world....You continue to do your thing!!!! All the best

Answer 3

You have to stop letting the teasing get to you. When we're teens, people can be cruel, but why let a bunch of high school morons define you?

Just throw at back them... "Oh, gay Gabe -- that's original. Did you think of that all by yourself?"

Honestly, why do you want to conform to someone else's definition of macho? Does the world really need more loutish, beer-swilling frat boys? If you're sensitive and expressive by nature, then be yourself -- someone will appreciate you for it. You just need to be confident about it.

Oh, and I couldn't grow a beard at 19 either. Now, at 31, it's come in more, but there are still bare spots on my cheeks. Just a superficial genetic thing.

Answer 4

being raised by women has nothing to do with a persons sexuality. if anybody thinks so it is because they just don't know. you are a sensitive, and self conscious person. when people are younger they can be cruel and tease a lot. never mind what people say about you, what is important is how u feel about yourself. there is no definition of what a real man is. from what i read from your question, you are a real man. you are addressing your feelings and problems here, and you show good insight and want to work on your self image, that to me, is being a man, and admitting you are not perfect, and want to help yourself, instead of not facing your problems. i think you will do just fine because you show understanding and caring, and that will attract the ladies. don't worry what u think is a real man, and just accept the way you are, and work on things you dont like about yourself you will be just fine good luck you are still young and have lots of time

Answer 5

I work in a job with a lot of gay co-workers and gay clients too, and what has been surprising to me is how few of them fit the gay stereotype that is portrayed on TV, in movies, and echoed by high school bullies. Try to take comfort in knowing that the stereotype they're comparing you to is a completely inaccurate one.

And I can sympathize with being a late bloomer. I lagged behind all my classmates throughout high school.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are a late bloomer. It does not matter that you were raised by women, some of the best men in my life were raised by a woman. Being a man doesnt mean you have to act manly, it is in your actions. Try dressing a little different or try some sports programs. Start martial arts or basketball. Don't pretend to be something you are not to please others.

Answer 7

maybe you should join a gym and get some muscle behind you. Diss the name calling and don't let it bother you. Some guys would say youre lucky not to have a beard and having to shave daily. We are not all built the same so maybe you will have to accept the way you are. Try and make mor male friends, but be yourself.

Answer 8

You will have the last laugh. trust me on this. Your insight on the female mind is probably way better and this guys dont have the upper hand. People put other people down because they feel inferior. So dont feel inferior to them. secretly they are insecure. How many guys are lucky enough to be hanging out with girls as often as you do? I prefer guys who are closer to their mothers or sisters. SO much more to them then hmm the others. ;) dont fret!

Answer 9

youll probably find youll have the upper hand with females trusting you and knowing that unlike men who think they are sooooooooo manly you will be more on the level. guys who think they are macho turn chicks off big time and usually treat them like ****. as long as you be yourself it will work out, ive been someone else in a different way and it only caused pain. someone will really love you for exactly who you are so dont let people make you doubt your masculinity!

Answer 10

I think people who call you that are very mean. They don't know how to respect others. Just ignore them and be yourself. You do nothing wrong. Not every girl like A&F male models!