It's gonna be our wedding next week and my fiance continues to piss me off. When I am pissed off by him, he doesn't know why. I would just keep quiet and choose not to talk but we are together so he notices I am pissed off. He would force me to talk and tell him what's wrong. Honestly I wouldn't want to talk to him and look at him but he gets mad at me and would not talk to me anymore, too, so I am threatened he would do it. His relatives would notice we're not talking and they would tell me to talk to him. But I don't want to...it's been like this since last month...dang!!! This guy doesn't know what I am going though...how do I deal with it? Please help me...
2007-01-14 00:27:40 · 19 answers · asked by SHEMH 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you're sooo0o0 stressed out with the whole wedding preparations that you tend to get irritated easily..i think that's normal.why not watch the movies -monster in law, guess who, i forgot the rest- those funny movies that deals with couples going through all the preparations for the wedding..it would be fun. i assure you. try it.
2007-01-14 03:54:15 · answer #1 · answered by warrior is a child 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you would rather not have him understand why you're angry? You want a relationship in which you can't share your feelings with him?
I'm sorry, but I don't see the problem as being your fiance. It sounds like you need to explore your emotional issues and learn other ways to deal with them.
Of course the guy doesn't know what you're going through--you won't tell him anything. What kind of relationship is this if you aren't willing to keep the communication lines open? HE is wanting to be close to you, to understand you, and you are shoving him away!
And for the record, if you were to consult a psychologist or other counsellor with these issues, they would tell you, at some point, that other people do not piss us off--that is how we CHOOSE to react. You don't have to be ticked off at him, you can choose another way to respond. You need to figure out why you're so darn angry with him and not wanting to actually have a relationship with him. Is it wedding jitters? Are you unconsciously pushing him away so that the wedding gets called off? Is this what you really want?
Since you only have a week, it's not like you have time to make a series of appointments with a counsellor, but you might be able to find a pastor/minister of a church who would be willing to sit down and talk with you.
2007-01-14 00:40:55 · answer #2 · answered by glurpy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to find out if this is only a stressful situation related to the upcoming event of your wedding (which would then be only a temporary trauma), or if it's just that you guys are simply not compatible. If this is the case, you'll make the mistake of your life by marrying the dude. So, you need to address this matter ASAP. Talk it out with your best friend or seek professional counseling if you feel comfortable with this alternative. At this point in time, it's extremely important for you to solve this issue before you wed. Good luck.
2007-01-14 00:40:46 · answer #3 · answered by gaban24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to be married in a week....The marriage will never work unless the two of can talk about anything that's bothering you...By keeping quite and choose not to talk is a big mistake in a marriage..No matter what it is..Tell him..if he gets mad he will get over it...But let him know and he should let you know if there's something you do that bothers him,,,Don't start you marriage out by being afraid to talk...You need to have this talk before your wedding...If you don't..then your wedding is next week,, then divorce court the week after...
2007-01-14 00:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are talking about! Its tough to do, especially with the stress of a wedding, but you have to change how you go about things. I would give the silent treatment, wait for him to start bugging me, then get even more pissed at him, and it just turned ugly. But I've learned how I am, and I love my fiancee and don't want to get ugly with him. So I told him: If I'm pissed, leave me alone. Don't ask me to talk to you. I told him that in a sane moment...so when I DID get pissed and silent, and I was waiting for him to start bugging me so I could escalate things and it never happened, eventually I'd come around and WANT to start talking to him.
It takes compromise and self-realization to get through this. Talk to him about your problem- when you're not pissed!- and you guys can work something out. Good luck!
2007-01-14 00:35:35 · answer #5 · answered by euphoriator 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is always better to talk than to get pissed and sulk as you acomplish nothing like that.it is getting close to your wedding and it may br nerves for both of you if it has only been going on a month,talk to each other and make sure it will not be like this once you are married as that would be a sucky life and probably end in divorce at some point and neither of you want that.good luck
2007-01-14 00:36:58 · answer #6 · answered by angel_ns_texas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have two separate ways of dealing with anger.
Obviously don't marry him until you see a marriage counselor a few times to work through this difficulty.
I'm surprised you officiant did not suggest you get pre-marriage counseling in the first place. All people should do this.
2007-01-14 02:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by ee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're listening to this in a large number of of your responses. Any helpful lengthy-time period relationship calls for good communication. This truly should be without question. there'll be situations at the same time as each and each better half will want their own area and time from one yet another and characteristic thier own pursuits and pursuits, yet at the same time as there is an difficulty interior the actual relationship, that is critical to communicate about it. If themes go on unresolved for a lengthy era of time, there is guaranteed to be an explosion of emotions which will come out at one time complicating what would were an person-friendly determination. you should ascertain each and each difficulty as they arrive so as that the "conflict of words" do not complicate concerns.
2016-11-23 17:32:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both under a lot of strain right now. He doesn't understand your stressors, and you stated you don't understand his.
The two of you are about to be married-you need to communicate, so you ought to sit down and have a calm, frank chat. You need to respect that each other is dealing with a lot right now and be supportive of one another.
The way it's going now is counterproductive, and left this way, it will get worse, not better.
I understand your not wanting to talk to him-men tend to get overly defensive when we confront them, so perhaps the approach is in careful wording, so he doesn't feel like he's to blame. (I need to take a lesson in this myself!) Hopefully he'll follow your lead and do the same.
At any rate don't forget this is supposed to be a happy, joyful time that culminates in the happiest single day of your life.
2007-01-14 02:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this gets to you this much, maybe you should put the wedding off, and think about what the future holds with this man. Marriage is about love, commitment, and compromise. If you cannot accept all three of the terms I mentioned, your marriage will not last long.
2007-01-14 00:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋