I am in love with her for about one year. ours is the five year o;d friendship. we were best friends till last year then suddenly one day I got struck with cupid arrow. I weighed all pros and cons, tried to diverte my mind, I put all possible efforts not to fall in love with her as I was unsure of her feeling as mine. but all this made me love her more and more lastly it was unbearable and proposed her and she firmly said no. in her words " its just not possible " seven months elapsed till then in my last effort I once again asked her but this time she has abused my love using words like "mistake, joke" etc and warn not to aske her it again. She also said e that she consider me very good friend and dont want to lose me. But due to such behaviour i was wondering that where all that tall claims of freindship gone on her part. any way i suffered a lot out of this and still suffering all this emotional shock put me in mess both healthwise and financially. (pl. follow next question)
2007-01-14 00:05:46 · 7 answers · asked by sami s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I still love her very much. I find everyday difficult to live without her, she still bothers me in dreams, her thoughts are always on my mind make it difficult more and more but due to calling my love "mistake" and "joke" hurt me lot and now my self esteem not permitting me to remain in freindship with her before 36 days I called it off and thanked her and told her we are not going to meet again we are strangers now and waved her final goodby. but on new year she send me a greeting. I am fnding it difficult to be with her as freind as I cannot help myself dreaming her my lover I want ot marry her. please suggest way out I am fighting battle of life and death and feeling that end is near......
2007-01-14 00:14:36 · update #1
Only if you want to remain friends. If its to painful, then move on, she just may be using you. You be the judge . Good Luck.
2007-01-14 00:14:10 · answer #1 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Problem: Ok, let's review the definition of a "friend". A friend is someone who you enjoy spending time with and who also enjoys spending time with you. Friends are suppose to be there to support you and help you through tough times. They are also supposed to be compassionate about your feelings and beliefs and not immediately shoot down thoughts feelings and ideas that you share with them. For instance, your having said to her that you love her and her saying that those feelings were a "mistake" or a "joke". A true good friend doesn't say things like this to hurt one or the other. Obviously she doesn't feel for you the way you feel for her, and it also sounds like she has different priorities in her love life as you.
The Question: The main question you need to ask your self is "If she doesn't love me the way i love her, how do i go on?"
The Answer: There are a combination of things that you need to do. The first is since you are feeling like such a mess you need to find things to occupy your mind so that the thought of her doesn't drive you up a wall. It's hard i know (I've been there), but you have to find activities and such to occupy you and not just sit or lay around and think about it. Another thing to do is to take time to heal. Since it is hurting you to be around her you need to take time away from her to allow your heart time to heal. The best way to do this is to take the amount of time that you two were together in a relationship and divide it by three. THis will give you the proper amount of time to heal and get over her for the time being. When the time is up it is up to you whether you choose to become her friend once again, but for now, you have to focus on rebuilding your life and the "mess" you say you are in. Never give up hope, I promise there is someone out there for you and she is looking for you as well.
Good luck.
2007-01-14 01:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by mattlw12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only answer is to carry on living your life without her, if your wish is to be it will be, but regardless you have to get on with it. Just don't do anything dumb. You were wise to break from her, now in your effort to get on with it, do some serious sole searching , find out what she doesn't like about you and change if you can. Even if you never see her again, you'll be better for it.
2007-01-14 02:03:13 · answer #3 · answered by al b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a million.i think of adult men stay in touch with their exes simply by fact they as quickly as liked them or nonetheless like them, that's greater advantageous to be acquaintances than to hate somebody 2.confident 3. no if a guy is head over heels in love he shouldn't flirt with different females 4.yea that's beside the point he would desire to purely see you as a chum that they had reliable thoughts with you and prefer to stay touch reason they think of you're a great guy or woman and don't prefer to lose you
2016-10-19 23:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off from her! What woman in her right mind would turn you down? Does she love you?
She sounds like she does not care about you!!!!
2007-01-14 00:26:01 · answer #5 · answered by purpleone726 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes friendship is much more valuable and lasting than love. From the sounds of it you are pressuring her and she will pulll away. What do you value most about her....You will lose it if you dont ease up.
2007-01-14 00:16:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the worst feelings is to be in love with someone who does not want to be with you. It often is nothing personal, obviously she liked you enough to be your friend for 5 years. But you cant make yourself fall in love with someone, just like you werent able to keep yourself from falling in love with her. It just isnt something you can make happen, no matter what.
However, I think that her reaction to your proposal and her subsequent behavior is unacceptable. For whatever reason, she is not being very considerate. You dont need people like that in your life. Dont think about the reasons you love her so much, think about how she is acting NOW and the fact that you shouldnt have ANYONE in your life that is treating you like that. No one should.
It sounds like she was uncomfortable with the way you felt about her and instead of being kind and understanding, she just reacted in a mean way. I dont think she was trying to hurt you, I just think she didnt know what to do and that's what ended up coming out of her.
I have found that it is better to cut ties off completely with someone like that. Not only is she not able to give you what you need from her, but she also isnt being very supportive.
One of the hardest things I ever did was walking away from a man I loved with all my heart and soul. I felt like the air was being pushed out of my lungs and I was going to die. But he wouldnt let himself be fully mine. I moved to another state and started a new life and it was THE best thing I ever did. Shortly after, I met my future husband who was a dream come true.
People used to always tell me that when I found the right person it would be fun and easy and it would make me happy. I never believed them. I thought, "Well, if I can just stick with this guy long enough for him to realize that I can make him happy then it will all have been worth it." But you cant do that to yourself. And when I stopped torturing myself and moved on with my life and put all my energy in taking care of myself and making myself happy....BAM....that's when I met the man who made me truly happy and who loved me right away for who I was.
Dont give up on yourself. You deserve someone who will cherish you and love you and stick by you. I know it's hard to think about being with someone else right now because you so want this person. So, dont think about it. Think about YOU and making YOU happy and taking care of YOU. The rest will miraculously work itself out.
If you ever need to talk, feel free to send me a message.
2007-01-14 02:42:17 · answer #7 · answered by jenniferaboston 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋