My fiances friends' wives/ girlfriends are all a little older than me and dress either very smart and classically, or in jeans and sweaters all the time. I prefer to wear brightly coloured eye shadow and short skirts, and follow the fashions to an extent. I've always modified my dress to fit in with them when we've been out, but now I feel like rebelling. Do you think I should work harder to fit in, or just be myself. Have you been in a situ like this, how do you feel about it, and how have you played it?
2007-01-13 23:03:32 · 35 answers · asked by emily_jane2379 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
How very superficial of you kiwi!
2007-01-17 06:50:21 · update #1
Do your own thing!!
He's with you now, that's what matters.
2007-01-13 23:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it's just a question of clothing and makeup, wear whatever you like, but I suspect that the differences are much deeper than that. I would be concerned that this is a symptom of a larger problem -- a difference in age and background from your fiance. Sounds like he's older than you and his friends are very different from you -- which suggests that he may be very different, too. Generally speaking, both of these things can add stress to a relationship. Have you tried talking to him about this? Tell him you're concerned about whether you fit in with his friends and their wives? Does he feel like there are some differences that could cause problems down the line? How does your fiance feel about the way you dress? If he loves the way you dress, then keep on dressing that way. But ask yourself, is the problem really greater than just the outward stuff.
2007-01-19 07:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by Corinnique 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the question is this: do you like these women ? Do you enjoy the time you spend with them ? Are they women you would wish to emulate in other ways, not just dress ? If the answer is yes, then try to find a version of yourself which fits in with their style, but is true to how you feel at the same time. For example, you could ask one or two of them what sort of clothes they think would suit you.
If (as I suspect) the answer is no, then explain your dilemma to your fiancee, and see if you can get out of socializing with them so much.
2007-01-19 21:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as an older woman myself I have never dressed to fit in with other people's idea of who I am and when I was young I wore the usual micro mini skirts, psycadelic colours and wild hair. So did my daughter and I hope so will my grandaughter. Thats what young people should be doing. I doubt very much if any of those older women with you would ever expect you to dress like them. If they do, ignore them, I do!
2007-01-19 10:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by selchiequeen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming your in the UK...Brits can be rather stuffy about that sort of thing...I am not a teenager but I wear what I want until old age makes it outrageous and even then it won't be hearing aids and corsets. Be you and to hell with the rest...I agree with one of the other answers you got, go knickerless and inadvertently drop something whilst the male guest are in view and bend as far down as you can, the men will love it and defend you all the way babe... the wives will hate it, do it, do it, do it.
2007-01-20 13:19:49 · answer #5 · answered by Molly B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think; Just be yourself. It may seem like rushing around is what's required to get everything done, to fit in with them, but if you think things through, you'll realize that's not necessarily true.
you know exactly what to do and how to do it, so just listen to your intuition and take it from there. focus on having a positive outlook. Just because something is bigger does not mean that it's better size doesn't matter in all aspects of living, especially right now. you need to be paying much more attention to the nuances of the people around you, not merely to the size of the shadows they cast over your life. no matter how attractive you may find this mystery person's to be, is not worth your time.moving from one extreme to another is not a wise way to balance your life. Stop doing what you think other people want you to do it's making you emotionally dizzy. to achieve true harmony right now, you need to stop and centre yourself. be yourself.
2007-01-14 00:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by dandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't change the way you are - I would bet that at least some of these women you hang out with are secretly wishing they had the confidence to break away from the 'classic' look all the time. I know it's cheesy but it's true: be yourself!
2007-01-21 06:54:43 · answer #7 · answered by Nikita21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would, within good taste, be myself. I would tell a girlfriend the same, no matter how my mate's wifes and gfs dressed.
--That Cheeky Lad
It is you that really counts! Your comfort. If your fiancee loves you he will want you to be yourself in manners and dress. For all you know, he may think the other ladies are over stylish.
2007-01-15 00:16:36 · answer #8 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be yourself! Not all the time is it do you need to fit in. Why compromise what you would rather wear for what this circle of women wear, how dull and mundane. Maybe they need to be exposed to something other than the bland fashions that they wear so maybe you might be a blessing in disguise, and honestly do you really care what these women think.
2007-01-14 01:17:58 · answer #9 · answered by chynamist02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sometimes polite to dress to "fit in". For example take the extreme case of going to Uncle Bert's funeral. A bit of give and take is what is needed and you will find you get invitations to everywhere - Buck House included
2007-01-20 08:51:49 · answer #10 · answered by Professor 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never wore brightly colored eye shadow and short skirts. Would not want to be in company with someone who wore that.
The real question is, how much do you want to hang around with the ollder crowd?
2007-01-16 05:17:28 · answer #11 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋