My b/f and I have recently been looking at some adult web sites together, we were looking to hook up with a girl to join us only girl-girl, my b/f would just watch. However since weve been on these sites together I think he has been visiting them alot on his own and possibly joining new ones without telling me. He's got himself a new Yahoo email account and he's cleared the "history" on our computer so I cant see which sites he's been on which says to me that he has something to hide. I got our shared bank card out of his wallet the otherday and found a slip of paper in there with what looks like some sort of password on it. I have never suspected him of cheating and I know he isn't but why does he have to be so secretive about it when it is something we were supposed to be sharing together. I'm scared of talking to him about because I dont want to break our trust but that is what I feel he is doing. Please help, very confused. Am I blowing this out of proportion??
2007-01-13 22:25:59 · 14 answers · asked by Pinky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are thinking of having a sexual experience with him like this you should first feel like you can trust him. Opening up your relationship to other people can cause a lot of trust issues and problems like the one you are having. Talk to him ....you can't be afraid of talking to him if you are willing to have sex with another woman for him. If you have an issue with trust, don't do anything you may regret. Get this out in the open first.
2007-01-13 22:32:27 · answer #1 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear you're suffering over this, quite a complicated situation eh. I would feel exactly the same as you.. you started it together, you seem like an open sweet girl, so why is he going off and being secretive? All you can do is sit down and talk, even though its scary as you dont want to muck things up. You said you dont want to break the trust by bringing it up with him but hasnt he broken it already? You have to talk and remember.. if he takes it bad, or puts blame on you, or even ends the relationship then he isnt the right person for you. If he loves you and respects you then he will listen to you and either come clean or put your mind to rest that he hasnt been up to much. It might even help him if you talk to him as it could be that hes simply embarrassed by what hes been looking at, he might have a fetish that you dont know about and he doesnt know how to share it with you, therefore talking will help. My boyfriend and i share everything, even about things we like to do seperately, we respect each other and our trust. Your partner isnt because you are feeling like you are. Talk to him. Good luck
2007-01-13 22:36:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not blowing anything out of proportion, but if you have visual hints on something going wrong you want to confront him. I did to my boyfriend when he was hiding his blackberry phone around me and i found few fishy things. Nothing serious, but serious for him to think of having something like this ever again, because I raised hell. My thing is trust need to be there but respect towards each other mentally and physically have to be there too. Take action. You are being suspicious for a reason, once you have a reason, time to check! Now dont do nothing stupid like I did by checking without his permission. Wrong answer, trust me! Just ask, talk to him about it, show concern. I mean for God's sake you even bringin a girl to his house to please your man. I wouldnt even do it, even though he wants.
2007-01-13 22:39:23 · answer #3 · answered by BK thang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like he's doing something he doesn't want you to know about by what you've just said. This is bothering you so you HAVE to talk to him about it. He probably isn't cheating but maybe just checking out other websites/chatting to other girls and doesn't want you knowing about it................ its your call hon. There is always a danger of ruining a relationship when you invite another person into it and it could be he's met someone else through these sites. Or it could be he just wants to check it out on his own. Talk to him about this - its the only way you'll know for sure instead of just worrying about it. Good luck.
2007-01-13 22:36:25 · answer #4 · answered by Lost and found 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you receives a variety of of undesirable suggestion from those with out vested pastime on your courting so the reply is frequently F-him. ultimately lack of self belief stems from someplace. he's not protect in his courting with you for some reason. it won't be able to be a valid reason notwithstanding that's in his concepts. i imagine i'd attempt to be empathetic and attempt to artwork with him in this lack of self belief first then transition to a job. Ask him what it would take for him to advance believe or why he does no longer believe you. For all i recognize you cheated on him in some unspecified time sooner or later and he's justified. i fairly don't have sufficient data to provide good suggestion. per chance a counselor will be a good theory. jointly if he's not keen to communicate, or bypass to a counselor you want to set him immediately. undergo in concepts you've allot of capacity in that you've boobs. portion of being married is pondering your companions feels above your human being and having knowledge. those who cant do this are an same ones who say F-him. they'd have you ever act thoroughly egocentric and are an same those who're divorced many times.
2016-10-31 01:43:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always the risk of problems like this when u invite another person into it, i agree with lizzomail relationships were not meant to withstand a third person.
I would say from what u have said that u need to have a talk sounds like there is something going on.
2007-01-13 22:36:26 · answer #6 · answered by BABY BELL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, without trust there's no chance for a relationship to work, if he's hiding things there is a reason. You have to confront him, if you can't talk to eachother then you're already going down the break=up path ! Good luck!
2007-01-13 22:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by chosen37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont want to break your trust? looks like you dont trust him already. I think you need to be completely up front about this and tell him what you suspect. Be warned, you might not like what you find but that is a consequence of looking for risk & new adventures.
2007-01-13 22:37:01 · answer #8 · answered by cuddlyclaud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your trust is well and truly broken. This is what typically happens when "happy couples" go in search for sexual kicks like threesomes and the like. Face it, you have lost your boyfriend to the porn sites. Move out, move on and don't repeat this mistake with your next partner. Relationships were not meant to withstand a third party.
2007-01-13 22:32:27 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think you are onto something, but being to forward might drive him to further secrecy.
1. a private investigator to see where he goes
2. take your computer to be "repaired" for something and get the repairer to trace the history or get a tech around to check, stuff is never really gone from your hard drive.
i think your feelings are valid. It depends on how long you've been together too. good luck chic :)
2007-01-13 22:35:13 · answer #10 · answered by ahsatin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋