Should I bother saying I'm sorry or just let it go? Pregnant&Dumped?

Question

I kicked out my live in boyfriend. I am 3.5 months pregnantHe has been living with me since Nov, he does not help with any of the bills, he does provide all sorts of entertainment, and he is a relatively good person. He has a habit of staying out all night not calling or explaining which doesnt sit well with me. He also smokes pot all day every day. He did not come home again the other night and I packed him up and sent him on his way the next day when he showed up and acted as if nothing happened. I refused to talk to him at the time, I was furious. Pregnancy hormones dont do nice things to the mind. I regret not talking to him and I miss him. He said once he walks out the door he is NEVER coming back and even threatened to take the baby away from me. (I do nothing wrong! A judge would laugh at him) But it hurt none the less. I am tempted to try once again to make it work because I don't want to be stuck on my own&I miss him. Do I even bother at this point? Im confused.

Thank you so much to everyone who replied. You have no idea how much this has helped me, not only this but one of his other girls wrote to me and let me know that he is trying to get her to f@ck him. He never cared about me, he was using me, and apparently, he thinks this is a trophy baby just to say he has and show off to people. Good Bye Loser.

Answer 1

Babygirl, here none of our answer would help. It all on you because you are the one that have to take responsibility. You are the one that have to weight all con's and pro's in your situation to see whether you need a man that hang out all night, dont really stay in the house as anything but entertainment, dont take care of you while you pregnant with his baby, dont pay bills. He seems to me like an immature guy who found a warm spot with you in you payed house with all the extras to it (including yourself) and he is not being responsible and thoughtful what is going to need to change once babe is there. I doubt if he would even be a caring father if he is acting this way and dont change like right now!. All these things you need to look over.
Now your decision have nothing to do with pregnancy hormones. As far as I am concern you did a right thing because I would of done same thing. Him saying he is neve going to come back is immature. You carying his babe, right? Do he know that? I hope he realize that him having so much stubbornes and pride is not in tact in this situation. As far as taking baby away....hahahah that one was funny....HE IS NOT TAKING SHYT! Unless he grow some baby milk in his men titties and buy 100's of books on how to be a single father....because so far the problem out there is being a single mother .....now that is another thing you need to think about.... are you being ready to be a single mother? I think the fact that you miss him is a whole thing of you being afraid to be lonely and by yourself. Dating would not really work out because you are pregnant so I dont see you have another man anytime soon. Maybe you do want to reconsider working things out with your baby daddy because baby needs him as much as you do, but here you have to be very sure in your desicions because you dont want daddy jerk to be there either. SO PUT AN ULTIMATUM OF WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM HIM AND IF HE COMPLY YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO WORK THINGS OUT. I just dont think he realize who he is going to be in next 5.5 - 6 month.

Answer 2

I think you should wait and see if he comes to you, asking you to take him back. If he does, you should tell him he needs to start paying half of the bills (or whatever a fair share would be, maybe less if you are making payments on a house in your name only), letting you know where he is if he's not coming home, and tell him the pot smoking has to stop, at least in your home. Remind him that he's going to be a father soon and that, if he wants to stick around, he needs to start acting like a responsible adult and being someone you can count on.

If he's gone for good, then that will be less confusing to your child than if you and he get into a habit of you kicking him out and taking him back, over and over again. There's also the matter of secondhand smoke, which could hurt your baby and also could show up on a drug test if your doctor decided to do one (I had a doctor do that during my pregnancy without my permission or knowledge, they drew blood and took a urine sample, supposedly to test liver function, but instead they tested for drugs and it came back positive for meth--which I have never used--and the only reason I knew why the doctor's attitude had changed so dramatically was that I read my file when he left the room with it pulled up on the computer).

Anyhow, your boyfriend doesn't sound like a partner, he sounds like another child, which you don't need at this point in your life.

Another point, if you find it necessary at some point to get government benefits (welfare), they won't believe that he lives in your home and doesn't give you any money toward the bills.

Answer 3

Hon, it sounds to me that you did the only thing that you could and it was the right thing to do.I know it's tough,I wish I could do more to help than just give you some lame advise! You and your child will be alot better off without someone who is only entertaining and does nothing else to help or provide for you. As for being on your own that's just a temporary thing, you sound smart and sexy to me and there are alot of single guys out there that will feel the same way....and alot of them will give you the love and respect you deserve! Stay strong and don't worry about it, good things are coming your way!

Answer 4

you were on your own with him there if he never helps out with the bills and dose nothing but smoke pot.you would be better suported if you dumped his *** forever and had a judge order child suport!!!!!!!! do what you have to do for the baby, do you really want all that weed around your baby, do you really want the smoke around you while your pregnant?? how can you decribe him in the way that you did and still call him a "good person" you need a GOOD MAN!!! somone you dont have to worry about getting busted for weed when hes suposed to be picking up your baby from day care. the only schudele conflicts he should have is work, not anything else, and it sounds like you know hes cheating on you.

Answer 5

he sounds so immature, and u don't, u sound as if u really have it together more than he does. he is threatening u, trying to get u to take him back, with no confrontation, just unconditional stuff, but u can't do that, u have a child coming, want A LIFE LIKE WE ALL DO, AND THIS MAN IS JUST NOT GOING TO GIVE IT TO U, AS HE IS WAY TOO SELFISH AND SELF SERVING. HE ALSO STAYS out all night and fails to call, major disrespect toward u hon. yes it hurts terribly and unfortunately doesn't make u love him any less, he is your baby's daddy, but he isn't marriage material. instead of getting mad at u he should have been remorseful, if there were going to be a chance for it to work.

Answer 6

oh no.. for the first time on here I got a sick feeling in my stomach.. and could truly say I feel sorry for some one..

Right now it's tough on you.. you're inbetween a rock and a hard place.. To be honest each choice is hard,

Think about it this way.. with him he pays no bills just another mouth to feed.. Without him its rough raising a kid on your own, but maybe you can find some one else to help you

with the way america is set up today you cant get a good job, being a single mother is horrible..

Try to find a good support.. and a wonderful person thats good with kids, cause this guy will never mature, my brother is the same way.. lived with his mother till he was 27, couldnt hold a job for more than a couple months..

Answer 7

he doesnt help you with bills so lets financially he aint needed

he isnt there to talk to you.... so aint emotionally needed

but yeah heart aint like a computer that you can erase a person....

i dont think if my wife or gf was pregnant and i cared would i smoke pot with her. smoking active or passive while preg aint right.

you miss him coz you cared. if he aint gonna come back or mend his ways then darling he didnt care.

so no point to be abused in a one way relationship

so be strong and i really hope am wrong in calling it one sided and hope things change......

but you should not be sorry ....... for the soul living inside you.

Answer 8

Ditch him!!!!

I have a few friends that were able to find exceptional men to replace their freeloading-good-for-nothings. One of the guys actually quit college so he could get a job and marry the girl (she had a 1-yr old). Kinda stupid, but it proves the point.

Answer 9

Question to you : Do you really want that kind of guy as a father for your child ?

He should support you , he should help with the bills, and most of all he should be an example for your kid !
So my question is, so do you really want to stick with that loser just because you don't want to be alone ?

Answer 10

You did the right thing, now it's time to go to the state and get and have them prepare to seek child-support from the jerk.

Don't take him back, he's a worthless dirt bag. He won't get custody or even joint custody with his type of behavior.