Spanking does not improve behavior?

Question

HITTING DOES NOT IMPROVE BEHAVIOR
Many times we have heard parents say, "The more we spank the more he misbehaves." Spanking makes a child's behavior worse, not better. Here's why. Remember the basis for promoting desirable behavior: The child who feels right acts right. Spanking undermines this principle. A child who is hit feels wrong inside and this shows up in his behavior. The more he misbehaves, the more he gets spanked and the worse he feels. The cycle continues. We want the child to know that he did wrong, and to feel remorse, but to still believe that he is a person who has value.The Cycle of Misbehavior
Misbehavior Worse behavior Spanking Decreased self-esteem, anger
One of the goals of disciplinary action is to stop the misbehavior immediately, and spanking may do that. It is more important to create the conviction within the child that he doesn't want to repeat the misbehavior (i.e, internal rather than external control).

Answer 1

OK spanking WORKS. I am a 40 something male who was raised to take responsibility for his actions. I was subject to corporal punishment . As a parent I have used the same tactics on my children. We have 2 boys aged 14 and 11 and at the time of this post and I can not even remember the amount of times we have be complimented on the behavior of our children. I also have not had to use spanking in about 3 years. I think of the times that the boys were 6 and 3 that we were in restaurants and had strangers stop by our table to comment on how well behaved our children were. They have grown to be great boys with the older having a 96+ average in advanced courses in school and always being welcomed in their friends homes.I was also involved in sports when they were younger and took exception when the baseball game was a tie outcome. I felt at the time and still do that if we as parents and coaches told the kids that the game was a tie we set them up for failure in our misguided attempt to insulate them from loss. This has also been reinforced by a recent (within the past few days) report on TV on 60 minuets or 20/20 about what they refer to as DDD. (Discipline Deficit Disorder) Seems we as a whole are raising a generation incapable of handling failure. The constant need for approvale and acceptance and "self esteem" is creating a handicapped (both socially and mentally) generation.

Answer 2

It all depends on how often you do it. If it's only once in a while it can be really effective, but if you're doing it everyday, not so much. Spanking should only be done in the most extreme circumstances to be the most effective. You wouldn't spank a child if he was doing something that could be resolved with STOP THAT! Spanking should be done when the action he is doing could hurt him or someone else. That is just my take on it.

Answer 3

That is because they administer the punishment in reactive way in anger or frustration.

Spanking is a barbaric form of punishment of course but it is not without its merits.

If a curious child tries to put its hand in the fire and you say no and they continue. You try and explain why but they continue. You take them and put them in their "quiet spot" when they come back they continue. You try every sanction in the book they continue. You then smack them on the hand and tell them if you put your hand in that fire it will feel like that but a 100 times worse it works and it stops them from burning themselves.

You would rather they burnt themselves and then tell them you told them so I think.

It's an example by the way so I wouldn't bother with the "i'd get a fire guard routine take crossing the road if you want another example".

In some instances you need to apply external control with a child because they do not yet know what you know and you are their protector aswell as their educator.

Answer 4

I agree with you 110%

Whenever I got spanked, I just screamed louder with each spanking. lol!

Your Kids are NOT stupid people. Have you EVER HEARD of reverse pshycology. Whenever you tell someone not to do somthing, their first instinct is to do the opposite. That's just how the human brain is wired. We learn by trial and error, not hitting and kicking.

And comon, do you REALLY expect your kids to stop screaming when you keep spanking them. GET REAL HERE. It hurts, so they gotta do sumthing. ANd if your child claims that it doesn't hurt, DON'T GO HIT THEM AGAIN!!!!! If they say it doesn't hurt, it doen't hurt. If you really love ur child, you wouldn't want to "make it hurt", would you?

Answer 5

perhaps it does not necessarily improve behavior but it sure as heck makes the child realize where their boundaries lie. Improvement on behavior is up the person if a child wants to constantly misbehave i feel they need disipline. Take for example a mother who put a metal leash on her child to control him. Seeing this i compare the child to nothing more than an animal in the parents eyes. Take for example if a child is told NO, ive seen so many instances where the child is told NO and continues to disobey. In RARE occasions I see the parent telling the child NO and sitting the child down and talking to them explaining why they should not disobey, but honestly i ask you how much attention is a 4yo or younger going to listen??

Answer 6

Spanking works depending on how it is a applied you don't beat them senseless. I have seen the none spanking parents and it is worse for them. The kid will cry 8 hours straight and all the no don't do that and time out chairs in the world would not work. I myself only got the belt once and never ever crossed the line again. I have seen a none spanking parent get stabbed by there own child because they wanted a chocolate bar. The kids did himself on his own. How do explain that. Your theory does not work for everyone. Its not a coverall that allies to all

Answer 7

I've never understood the whole spanking thing. I think that hitting is something that people resort to when they aren't controlling their own emotions. How do you expect your child to learn to "behave" and control themselves when you cannot manage to control yourself?

Lead by example. How can we be violent with our children and not expect them to grow up also lashing out in anger at people? It's ridiculous that people would argue that hitting a child is beneficial to the child, in the long run. That's a total cop-out... I think it's just easier in the short-term for the parents.

Patience is a virtue ~ and even more so when you're a parent.

Answer 8

I got my A** kicked as a kid, (belt, slap, spoon, drumstick, brush, shoe, any weapon handy at the moment), Diner time was HELL, especially around report card time, since "D's" and "F"'s were the "norm" for me, I got my a** handed to me a lot. My family put the "FUN" in "DYSFUNCTIONAL" (Irish houshold), I moved out young (20) and made it on my own, got married, have a 4 yr old, and 1 on the way. We have a "time out" chair, and a "crib" for those NOT listening to "MOMMY and DADDY" (resistance is futile). THERE IS NO HITTING IN THIS HOUSE EVER ! I made sure that the buck stops here ! Violence did'nt do anything, it just "HURT" a lot, emotionally, more than physically. A good sense of humor is the only thing that saved my life, I always knew that this was how "NOT to act", I just chaulked it up to "Time served" in an "INSANE ASYLUM" !

Answer 9

Let me guess....you don't have any kids, do you? And who said anything about hitting? That has nothing to do with spanking and your whole post is ignorant.

Answer 10

I've learned not to spank my 2 year old daughter. It doesn't help in any way. She only got mad and actually tried to hit me back. Not to mention, I felt awful and promised never to spank again. So I feel very deeply that spanking is not a very good form of discipline. Spanking can also put fear into your child and I don't want her to be fearful of me. I do, however, want her to know that she shouldn't talk back to me, nor should she be disresectful of me or her grandparents. She is 2, however and will probably not learn this for a very long time.

It's very hard to raise a child and know exactly what to do and what not to do. No one can be the perfect parent, but I've never seen spanking ever actually work.