How do you deal with suppressed anger?

Question

How do you rid yourself of that feeling that you are going to explode and stop blaming everyone else for how you are?

Answer 1

You understand what you are doing so you are already on the right track!

The best thing is a good counselor/pyscologist or whatever.

Motivation is the key to make the change complete, otherwise you will get part of the way to changing this about yourself and stop. I warn you, it is MUCH harder than you think it is. Few of us can change what we do not like about ourselves, on a whim and often once we don't make it we will feel better because your mind will self-sooth by thinking "it's ok because" etc.

Next. Once you have decided that NOTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD WILL KEEP YOU FROM MAKING THIS CHANGE specialize in recognizing the signs of your behavior that you wish to change.

Find ways to replace or distract you away from the behavior. On person puts his hands in the air and hoots like a monkey (good mental picture, huh -it works). But you can also replace it with something else (be prepared for putting down more bad habits that rise to replace the bahavior to be corrected) like taking a walk or talking it out.

Reinforce the motivation often and keep vigilent watch of yourself.

Get a some self help books from the library. Expect to spend at least 8 months (with it lessening over time, unless you mess up then it takes longer) of this work going. Is it still important enough to you? Good! But I do really recommend a councellor or doc or something because your chances are slim that you will make it. Still gonna do it? Then you may have a shot at it!

Answer 2

Im going to be quite controversial here, and suggest that even feeling unnecesarily angry is not good for you and is preventable, nevermind expressing this anger as an afterthought to "cleanse" it.

The expression of a mood, especially unhealthy negative ones, is often called "catharsis" or "abreaction."

A lot of people assume that by expressing this emotion a "magical" release will take place and we will not be consumed by such feelings. Rubbish.

Often it will sustain and ingrain the emotional reaction that is taking place in the circuitry of the brain. The brain and your nervous system will feel rewarded if you then start bashing a pillow against a chair! Neural pathways will strengthen in the brain and say secretly "its ok to not feel calm and relaxed when facing anything I dont agree with!"

Let me ask: Is it a strong healthy frustration that you are feeling, or is it a destructive anger that you are -brewing- in?

Healthy Frustration leads us towards correcting or accepting the things in our lives that we cannot change, whereas -unhealthy anger- can lead towards high blood pressure, violence, generally unconstructive acts, thoughts and behaviours, as we subconscioulsy DEMAND that the world and life and others do our bidding!

I noticed that you put that you want to "stop blaming everyone else for how you are?"

You might like to google the "albert ellis foundation" and look at his ABC model of personality. Though it can take a bit to get your head around it, it can really help, and helped a friend with similar issues immensely.

My point is, NO-ONE can make you upset. You make you upset, to a large extent. Unless someone physically attacks you with a plank of wood, you have a greater choice of thoughts and emotions to deal with a situation than you imagine now. You have to take their comments or acts far too seriously. If they put you down, or act against your interests, they are acting stupidly and you would feel rightly sadenned and frustrated. But they have a right to do this, being fallible humans. IT isnt letting them off the hook, but will help you feel less damning of them.

if you then add to this, by comparing reality with the ideals in your head of how you "MUST" GET WHAT YOU WANT, HOW YOU ABSOLUTELY "SHOULD" BE treated, how OTHERS "SHOULD" be, and how ROTTEN LIFE IS AND "SHOULDNT" BE THIS WAY for giving you hardship, then you will quite possibly make yourself very miserable and angry to boot by semi-conscioulsy demanding this, and damning life when it doesnt occur.

If you were to accept people (becuase they are imperfect like you and me) for their errors, whilst accepting your own, but learning to correct your own, or advise others that you do not like what they do, steadily and constructively, you may feel more healthy frustration instead of overbearing emotion.

This insight is called Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy and points out that we are not just disturbed by events, but by the views we take of the events. There are books on this widely available.

You could also look into relaxation classes, managing workloads or stressors in your life, having "me" time etc. Their are many ways to manage your problems and I wish you all the best.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Exercise, a long walk in the fresh air, talk (usually best to a stranger), try Korean Ginseng 1,200mg – a traditional energy booster used to combat physical and psychological stress; Rhodiola Rosea Extract 250mg - used for centuries in Russia to help combat fatigue, stress and depression; and Seratone 5-HTP – a powerful natural antidepressant.

Answer 4

I pray and ask God to take it from me. I have anger from childhood and I know sometimes I try to blame others for my bitterness. I have to just turn it over to Him and let Him be in control of my flesh and my mind. Jesus never fails me and I always feel a lot better when I am not thinking hateful thoughts.

Answer 5

Go to the desert and throw rocks.

Tear up old phone books.

Try a different perspective.

Answer 6

Just talk to someone.
Pent up energy is negative and affects everyone around you, so trust the people around you to let you vent your frustrations.
Trust me, it does work!

Answer 7

Try to talk to someone. just be sure not to explode on them. try to to relaxing things more often and try not to do stressing things unless you really have to.

Answer 8

Get a punchbag or do jogging, anything physical will help.
Don't sit and dwell on things.

Answer 9

Go into your bathroom look in the mirror and screammmmmmmmmmmmm it works for me. good luck xxxx

Answer 10

write down ur feel and tell anything u want then u'll be calm