It is being a bigger and bigger problem for me every day. I love to love someone but iam a way too shy to even look at the girls. Iam 18 years old and i have never had a girl friend before, my brother keeps telling me "you are either gay or nerd". HOW CAN I TALK TO GIRLS?To be honest I used to have an internet girl friend, who i have never heared her voice or seen her pictire in a resolution bigger than 150*200, in London. and i always talked to with her about philosophy, the world after death and stuppid things like that. Cuz i couldn't talk about love things at all, even behind my computer. And I just noticed how intresting i was in her eyes because She just got married with her english boyfriend. can u believe that??? she is just 18.It just explains my damn luck. When ever i see a beautiful girl in college(so bizarre) or in a shopping mall (abundant) , i wanna cry CUZ i can't ask them out. Can u help me?
2007-01-13 19:18:46 · 15 answers · asked by Mosi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah. Think abot yourself in 80 years, lying on your death bed thinking about all the chances you passed up to be happy and in love. Now your 98, alone and ready to die. You're wishing you could be 18 again and have a chance to live your life again and this time take some chances.
********POOOOF********
Ok the genie just granted your wish! You're 18 again! Go get 'em loverboy!
.
.
2007-01-13 19:27:56 · answer #1 · answered by John L 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, but you can't be in love with someone over the computer. You need more of a connection besides your modems. That is just my opinion though.
What will help first is to stay away from forming these "relationships" online. The more you talk to women online, the more you'll become shy because you're used to hiding. Stop meeting people online. If you want to love someone it's not going to be through a computer screen.
And just cause you haven't had a girlfriend doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. You just have to start out small and work your way up. Start smiling at girls you pass. When you feel comfortable work on saying hi. You'll get used to speaking up. Then when you and your friends go out, ask them to invite some girls they know or go where there will be girls so you can have conversations with them. It doesn't have to be long or dramatic. Just a few simple questions like, What's your name? Where are you from? What are you studying?, etc. Use your buddies to introduce you to girls they already know so you don't have to approach someone by yourself. You don't need to worry about getting numbers or dates if you're too shy. Just practice on speaking to women. Be yourself and be confident and always smile. You'll come off as nice and easy going.
Practice, practice, practice. Baby steps. When you're ready, start approaching girls you may be interested in and ask them out. You'll get there. You just need to make the effort. Good luck!
2007-01-13 19:29:58 · answer #2 · answered by meghanw1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my brother ! i have the same problem...im 17 and in high school and my problem is im shy and English is my second language !!! it really really bugs me cause i cant talk to girls , even i cant talk to the guys i want cuase English creates a limit for me....it's crazy when i see guys in high school or outside talk to girl or even guys easily ! but i have asked out girls ! it worked but im always afraid how can i keep on when i cant talk the way i really want ! well , u dont have the problem ( language ) that i have , so u r way better than me ! the only thing u need to do is just think like this : " asking a girl out is not a big deal, there is 2 possibilities : 1. she will say yes, ( well that's good ) 2. she will say no ! ok , if she said know , think like this : " no? ok who gives a sh*t ? there r so many girls out there, let's hit the next one "
just be relax ! .... tonight i was thinkg how boring is my life ! school , work and studying ! i really need someone , who i can think about her ! well i hope this help you , dont worry , u will find the right person, good luck and pray for me 2 !ill pray for u ;)
good luck !
2007-01-13 19:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by Ali 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's a little trick to make you less nervous. Just remember that when you talk to a girl, she's just as nervous as you are. She's not judging you or seeing the flaws you think you might have. You don't have to be incredibly witty or anything, just be nice and be real. There's nothing worse than an insincere man. Confidence is also a big turn on. Even if you're not completely confident, pretend you are and soon enough, that pretend confidence will become real.
2007-01-13 19:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have some personal issues that need a reality check. You can say the same things to a girl that anyone else can . First of all stop thinking of yourself a incompetent and realize that the sooner you become you and not try to emulate others the more the opposite sex will feel like listening. be yourself.Your as special as anyone. Be open and caring and honest. see what happens!
2007-01-13 19:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by jiovonnig 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to a girl you like, and talk to them. After the first sentece or so, tell her what you're feeling i.e. "Wow, i am really nervous right now." She could be suprised and maybe even flattered once you her them why you're nervous. Once you get more confident, you can start to talk to her about things, but make sure you're always open and tell her the truth about everything. Tell her about everything and hope that she understands the situation you're in. You dont have to ask her out the first time you talk to her. In fact, you SHOULDNT ask her out the first time you talk to her. Get to know her. Go out to lunch, watch a movie, take a walk, whatever! Just become familiar with her. When you feel that you are comfortable enough with her enough to ask her out, DO IT! People say girls love confident guys, and they do, but if you're honest and open, girls will see that you're someone worth being with, so they could get with you. After you get to know them a little bit though, you should build your confidence. Asking her out is like a test of if you have conficence or not. If you ask her out, you pass ur confidence test. If you don't, then you just havent studied enough. You havent failed.
2007-01-13 19:38:29 · answer #6 · answered by TheDeagler 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aww!!i really feel bad for u...but u know what i really think u r kinda cute...i mean i m a gurl who can understand a guy's feelings cause i m studyin psychology.i=well don't think u r alone.there r loads of guys AND GURLZ out there who r damn shy...but hey communication matters...n yes take it frm me datin online never works...yes never....trust me on that one!so man just go to the nearby grocery store or mc donalds n take up a part time...that way u get a lot of practice talkin to ppl at the same time u don't look like u r desperate or something...so try findin occasions to talk...maybe not talk ur heart out...but hey take baby steps first n then go on to do the big things like askin out girls...n lemme tell u ...don't think all the guys out there are big jabbermouths even they learnt frm experience...so gp out there in the real world n make frendz ...that shud do the trick...
p.s.well this has got nothin to do wid ur problem ...but here goes....i like guys who luv philosophy n u won't believe it i too ponder over "life after death knda stuff" n guess what becuz of ur question i realized that i m not the only female who thinks that way...cuz i m 16 n my frendz sometimes laugh at my deep thoughts...so anyways thx for tellin me bout urself!!
2007-01-13 19:35:27 · answer #7 · answered by tulip 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there,done that..........It ain't easy,but the first thing you need to do is learn how to be a little more open with people.
You know how that saying goes..Practice makes perfect??? Just be yourself.....Join a dating website....Go to a singles class at church.......Anything to get out there and start talking!! There is no magic formula or silver bullet....It just takes will power and guts to follow thru with it. I believe you can do it.
..and tell your brother to go jump in the lake!! When I was 18...I had never had a girlfriend either!! Give it time....and give yourself a break!
2007-01-13 19:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by Chief Paduke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should try to adjust your perspective on girls. it seems like when you see them, you react by being all shy. consider this: girls are people just like you. don't overwhelm yourself by thinking you automatically can't talk to them. start on a casual level. just think, they aren't really scrutinizing you for all your worth during the first meeting. imagine that you're talking to a friend. that could help. have a little more confidence in yourself. a compliment helps. sometimes, simply noticing a girl gets her to notice you. don't count yourself out just because you feel your shy. girls are human too! keep it simple, keep it light. then worry about the whole "relationship" thing.
2007-01-13 19:28:49 · answer #9 · answered by changing_sky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Confidence is the key. Girls love that in a guy. Talk to her for a bit, make sure she's interested, and then just ask her out. If she's into you, she'll say yes, and then all you have to worry about is the date ^^. I know asking people out is a tough thing to do, but I've relised that the worst thing they could do to you is say no. Just go for it. =D
2007-01-13 19:24:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋