Father using cocaine?

Question

My father is a cocaine user and I don't know how to approach him to get him to stop...I sometimes think about calling his job so that they can fire him, or calling the police because I hate what he's doing. I really don't know what to say to him, my mom makes such a joke out of it, I almost didn't take it serious. But it hurts...I want him to stop...what should I do?

What about rehab? He's an alcoholic, but he won't go because he'll lose his job but now that he's doing cocaine too, he'll lose it regardless. I don't know what to do...

Answer 1

that is a very difficult situation for you and I am sure one that hurts. does he know that you know of his using? if not, tell him how you feel that you want him around in your life to see his grandchilren or to see you marry for the first time. or what ever it is that you want him to be a part of.. tell him that if he keeps using that it could kill him and you would lose a very important person in your life. let him know how much you love him, and that it hurts to see what he is doing to his self, and to you. try to be there for him and not against him.. try to be positive not neg.. cause a negative attitude will bring on more using. try love first, and see if it helps. if not, you can only do so much yourself. after that listen to your own instincts. or get information on the what happens when you use and how to stop. seek out help groups and get as much information on what you can do to help him. be strong, be straight forward in your intent to help him, but don't make him upset cause that could make it worse. if you can do it without calling the cops, that would be my best advice.. calling the cops will only put him in jail and then he will get out, and he may get angry with you for turninghim in.. try the other things first, then if it all fails. do what you have to save his life.. I wish you much strength and much love and peace, that it be with you as you go thru this hard time.. my best to you..

Answer 2

He needs to get help regardless of if he'll lose his job or not, he could lose his mind or worse his life! Depending on what state you're in or where he works he can get help through his job if they have THE FAMILY MEDICAL LEAVE ACT or F.M.L.A. for short. This protects his job no matter what kind of problems he is dealing with but, he has to go to them and ask for help. There are also support groups like Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous that really can help with his addictions. You don't have to try to get him fired from his job or have him arrested because, if he doesn't seek help soon all this will happen in due time on it's own. I can feel your pain about this problem and you have great concern for your father but, there is a positive way for you to help him. I have given you a few sources below. There has to be something going in his life right now or from the past that he cannot deal with and drugs and alcohol just numb his pain but, it is still going to be there regardless until he can deal with them sober and clean. I know and I am in recovery and it is working for me on a high spiritual level. I will pray for you and your father but in the meantime, understand that this is a disease that can be fatal!

Answer 3

here is what you do find a metal bat and hit him in the face with it then get the hell out of there cause you are getting high just as much as he does and you wont even know. cocaine soaks in to walls and all wood for that matter so everytime you touch a wall or counter that he does that you come in contact with it. it only gets worse i am not sure how old you are but if your mom is laughing about him doing it then i would not be surprised if she does it to just behind your back. just pack your things and find someone that will let you live with them and tell them if they want you back home and the care and love you that they will stop and get some help....if they stop they need to bleach all the walls and everything to clean it up. if they dont stop then count on them becoming poor and strung out all the time

Answer 4

im telling you not to tell him that you would inform the police.... sumtimes things like this can overcome the human mind.... i would inform the police without telling your father.... it may hurt to turn your father in for a while but you will know that you did the right thing for your self because cocain is jst as harmful if not more harmful in a second hand smoke the youth of america should live in a friendly enviroment and should be sble to live a drug free life. find the number of a rehad center and tell them to call the police..... that will make him be arrested and enter rehab things like this or so unpredictable i hope i helped at least a little

Answer 5

If i was you, I would get him alone and just say my piece. Just so you know up front you cant make some one stop doing the stuff if they really don't want to. All addictions are basically the same until they want to stop or admit they have a problem then nothing you say or do will ever make them stop till they are ready.

Answer 6

He needs to go get some help. If your mother is making a joke out of his problems, then she is in denial. You are right. If his employer finds out, he will get fired. I would talk with a rehab person and find out what you should do.

Answer 7

You did not mention your age, if you have any other brothers or sisters living in the home, how his alcohol and cocaine abuse affect you specifically other than you hate what he is doing it hurts and you want him to stop, if you are being physically or sexually abused, or if you have any grandparents or close relatives.

Calling the police is not a good idea because when there are under age children living in the home because the police may immediately remove any under age children from the home and turn them over to Social Services for placement in a foster home.

Calling his job is not is not a good idea because without his job and paycheck to pay the rent, gas, electric, telephone, cable TV bill, food, etc. your mother and you will not be able to pay the bills alone and may be evicted and because there are under age children living in the home the courts may turn them over to Social Services for placement in a foster home.

Also with a bad reference from his job he will not be able to get another job even if he is eventually rehabilitated.

The only other adult in the house, your mother makes a joke out of it.

The most important thing for you right now is to focus on your life. Get the highest grades you can so you can get into a good college and get scholarships and grants to pay for the best college you can afford. If you graduate from a good college with high grades you will have the best chance of getting a higher paying job to support yourself and move out of the house and live in your own apartment and live your own life.

Attend Alateen meetings. "Many who come to Al-Anon/Alateen are in despair, feeling hopeless, unable to believe that things can ever change. We want our lives to be different, but nothing we have done has brought about change. We all come to Al-Anon because we want and need help.

In Al-Anon and Alateen, members share their own experience, strength, and hope with each other. You will meet others who share your feelings and frustrations, if not your exact situation. We come together to learn a better way of life, to find happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.

Al-Anon may be listed in the white pages of your local telephone directory. Cities with local information services are listed on our Web site. Many of those listed post meeting information on their Web sites. For meeting information in Canada, the US, and Puerto Rico you can call 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) Monday through Friday, 8:00am to 6:00pm ET."

If you are being physically abused move out of the house and and live in your grandparents house or a close relative until you graduate from college and get a job.

Congratulations for your intelligence, courage, and strength to reach out for an answer instead of continuing to suffer in silence this is a sure sign that you are going to make a good life for yourself whether or not your father still abuses alcohol or drugs.

Answer 8

It can be very hard, I have a sister who's a drug addict and we have tried for so many years to get her to see what she's doing, my parents have spent thousands on her, but to no avail she goes straight back to drugs. I know how you feel but the only thing I know is, they won't give up unless they want to, But if I were you I would confront him, and if he continues just keep trying. Hopefully it is only a party thing that he will stop doing soon.
Good luck

Answer 9

tell a counselor and teacher at your school, you should not take the responsibility of being the one to call police or his work, it's very wrong of him to put this on you and shame on your mom, go to a counselor as soon as possible and stay with a friend for a while if you can, this is not on you and don't let anyone make you feel badly not even your parents shame on them

Answer 10

Putting him in rehab isn't going to do any good unless he himself admits he has a problem and wants help. All you can do is hope that he will admit he needs help and seek it. And never ever give him money.