A hug and a few pats on the back is good.
2007-01-13 17:08:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Listen to Milo. He's got a point there. You can't prejudge everybody. Some people think they are being extra friendly with a "mini-backrub" while hugging you, and felling you up or sexual fantasies have absolutely nothing to do with it. Others might get really aroused by a simple, quick hug. Still others can use a simple pat on the arm in a sexually harrassing way. You really have to judge these things individually, by the level of discomfort they cause. Obviously, a huge, lingering bear hug that leaves your breasts flattened for 5 minutes isn't good. But at the same time, it's not necessarily a "dirty" hug either. It all depends on the person doing it. A father's lingering hug doesn't necessarily mean he's got incest on his mind. Then again, if a school teacher hugged you the same way, it could mean something on HIS mind! I guess you'd have to add the hug to other things the person says and does to get the whole picture. It can be tricky, and accusing someone of harrassment is a serious charge, so be sure you read them right.
2007-01-13 18:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by BuddyL 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am a big hugger, church is a time for a real hugfest!
A rub on the back shows that the person really means the hug and isn't just patronizing you. It also means that they love you or care for you a lot more than you think. thank God for that!
Sometimes a pat is just a gesture that they are glad to see you, but they don't want to get too close. Enjoy the hugs, life is too short to pull away from someone who cares about you. Those are the ones that you want to keep close to you.
2007-01-14 01:08:10 · answer #2 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
depends on the situation and the nature of the hug. also it depends on who the person is. if it was a close friend or relative then it would be a comforting hug if it was somebody who has an attraction to you or whom you are attracted to it could mean its a little bit more than comfort.. either way a hug is a nice gesture.
2007-01-13 17:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think people intend to be kind when they do that, but i don't like those lingering hugs and back rubbing, especially if the person is pressing my chest into them. It is just too awkward for me.
edit: of course, as some here suggest, it is the context of the situation, and who it is with.
2007-01-13 17:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by * 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My body language book tells me that if someone pats you on the back when hugging you, they feel uncomfortable hugging you - or would prefer to not be hugging you at all.
If you're upset though, and someone hugs you, it is a reassuring thing. Mothers pat their babies backs to comfort them. Is someone mothering you?!
2007-01-13 17:15:50 · answer #5 · answered by Catty 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't read anything into someone rubbing your back, because there is a 50% chance you will read the situation wrong. Now if they rub a little lower, then you have reason to be concerned.
2007-01-13 17:20:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depends. A coworker of mine does it and i'm beginning to think he's feeling me up.
2007-01-13 17:24:56 · answer #7 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
depends on the situation
2007-01-13 17:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by undercovernudist 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think it depends how close you guys are. Like if its your best friend, their being nice. If it's your ex, they are feeling you up.
2007-01-13 17:33:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends.
2007-01-13 17:16:23 · answer #10 · answered by Jamaican girl<3 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋