i have some friends, guy and girl, who both got drunk one night and had sex. they got completely wasted. the background is that she was never interested in him as a partner, but he always had a thing for her.
well, they got really drunk one night and did it. she later said that she did not "know what she was doing" because "she was too drunk", and by that definition, she said she was raped.
he was just as plastered and chalked it up to basically "2 people got drunk and had sex. i was just as drunk and i didnt force her to do anything."
she never pressed charges, but didnt mind telling everyone and letting every girl out there know that this guy is some kind of a rapist.
has this ever happened to anyone else? i was actually pissed at the guy until i found out that she was the one who actually initiated the sex, and then i decided that she was just a lying ho-bag.
how has this become such a rallying cry for some women?
2007-01-13 16:52:55 · 7 answers · asked by cornercuttin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's rape when you say no in a serious tone, and he keeps on.
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2007-01-13 16:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well champ, it's a rallying cry because it sucks to get raped.
I always hear these horror stories, but every guy who I've ever known to be accused of such things deserved the accusations (and probably worse). If you don't want some crazy girl calling you a rapist, I'd say stop hanging out with a crazy girl, and definitely don't fool around with her, no matter how drunk you are.
PS. If even one rape gets prevented by taking things too seriously, than it's worth it for many many many innocent dudes to be called rapists. It's not like anyone went to jail here.
2007-01-14 01:08:33 · answer #2 · answered by Mike A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please understand real rape is not an excuse or a rallying cry. Some men DO get women drunk just to have their way with them, some men drug women to rape them and some just force themselves on women. Sex is highly complex for women and they need to feel that there is an emotional connection. The idea of getting wasted and just doing it with someone she didnt care about was too much for this girl to admit. She shoudl not have accused him of rape unless HE initiated getting drunk. By the same token he can say he didnt know what he was doing that she is not HER type. The reason she didnt press charges is that it would be really hard to prove unless the people at the party saw him forcing liquor on her which obviously didnt happen. She made a mistake and is trying to cover her embarrassment. Women who are really raped know the difference. Trust me I know.
2007-01-14 01:01:21 · answer #3 · answered by fancyname 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she have a lover when that happened? If so she was using excessive drinking as an excuse to get her lover to pay attention to her. She'll say to him that she was drunk and didn't know what she was doing--and you can bet that she made it known to her lover that she was raped-just piling on those excuses to cheat and get away with it. And her lover will be feeling all sorry for her and she might hope he won't leave her over her infidelity if she claims she was raped. And also look how miserable she is-like look at me I'm so miserable over you that I had to go out, get drunk and ended up getting raped.
Or she just got carried away and got too drunk and wanted to make her drunk and foolish friend pay for getting her drunk and taking advantage of her. Even though they were both drinking to excess she might feel that it was all his responsibility to not take advantage of the situation. It's just another excuse for her to not appear 'slutty' to her friends.
If he did actually rape her but they were both so drunk that they didn't know what they were doing--well that makes no sense because they were drunk so all bets are off as to what actually happened without a police investigation right after it happened. You can't be claiming you were so plastered that you didn't know what was happening yet you somehow knew you were raped.
2007-01-14 01:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mr_B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first of all, a lot of women do get raped. and the guys that do it need to be locked up. but if this girl was drunk, and just didn't care who she was having sex with, it's not rape. if she was drunk to the point of being unconscious and he had sex with her, or she said no, then he is guilty of rape. it's as simple as that. and calling her names isn't going to help things any. as a matter of fact, you're just going to be hurting your own reputation. if you were not present while they were having sex, then you don't know exactly what happened.
all that I can honestly tell you is that this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't get drunk.
2007-01-14 01:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you *know* she was the one who initiated the sex? There's no way to really know what exactly happened. But I agree that it's not fair for her to call him a rapist. If he was sober and was TRYING to get her drunk, I could understand it. Drunk people still know what they're doing. Alcohol just releases inhibitions, it doesn't make you stupid... although, it can lead to stupid decision making. I think this chick has issues in taking responsibilities for her actions. He could sue her for slander.
2007-01-14 00:59:43 · answer #6 · answered by Miss D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the first answer. the girl has to say no or stop it or something along those lines, then it is considered rape. it was immature on both of their parts, so no one's exactly innocent.
2007-01-14 01:00:05 · answer #7 · answered by Caitlin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋