now all of a sudden I got two phone calls in 2 weeks from that girl that i havent even talked to,she tells me that she has something very important to tell me I only met her once and thats it i dont have any kind of social relationship with her. . If she tells me she is pregnant i will die, i used a condom for sure. if she is pregnant why did she wait so long to tell me? and what can i do if she is pregnant? if DNA tests say it is mine, can i refuse to take financial responsibility? Im confused, i mean she could have called me sooner. any way cant be a father right now im not ready. what can i do? any legal advise? help...
2007-01-13 14:21:24 · 31 answers · asked by 4walls 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Ah Man you are Dead.... Be a good Father.
2007-01-13 14:27:59 · answer #1 · answered by darfol 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well,,if its true that she is pregnant,,she probably thought it would be the right thing to do to tell you. She may have waited so long because she wasnt sure how you would handle it. Get the facts tho first from her..it may not even be that. It could be tho because condoms arent always 100% effective. Hardly anyone is ever "ready" to be a parent but the right thing to do would be to step up to plate & be a man. Babies dont come with instruction manuals,,we learn as we go along. Do the best you can. Maybe she will be happy with that. Think about what she must be going through all alone. You must have liked her somewhat to have layed down with her. Maybe you two should have gotten to know each other better. You still can. You may be able to keep this out of the courts if you take responcibility for YOUR child. Do find out for sure thru a DNA test. Be nice,,it will make it easier on everyone. Its not the babies fault & Im sure once you meet it,,you will love it ;O). You & the girl can be together or not but everyone can be cool about the situation.
2007-01-13 22:35:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's my advice, coming from the daughter of an affair, which isn't exactly your situation, but just as tricky. I got to know my father when I was a teenager, and have since developed a relationship with him. However, my mother never asked for, nor receieved, any financial support from him, as he was married at the time and she didn't want to break up his marriage.
I love my Dad. But there will always.. ALWAYS.. be some little part of me that will wonder what it would have been like if my father had been willing to take financial responsibility, even if he hadn't taken emotional responsibility. Some part of me will always wonder what it would have been like if my Mom wouldn't have had to work 80 hours a week to support us. If my life would've been happier, or easier, if I had been able to go to college out of school because my Dad was helping pay for it, or whatever.
Please, please. Don't abandon your child. Even if you have no wish to emotionally be there, do not abandon that baby, if she is pregnant. It didn't ask to be born into that situation.
Act like the adult you are. Take responsibility. Almost any father is better than none.
2007-01-14 01:16:22 · answer #3 · answered by Kylie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think you should talk to her before jumping off of a bridge? Sounds pretty childish to me. If she is pregnent take a paternity test and deal with the consequencies. trust me, there are much worse things in life to have to deal with. O, and by the way, you can be a father right now. Ready or not when you decided to let the little head start running your life, condom or no condom, you put yourself out there. You can refuse to pay for support of the child should it prove to be yours but prison life pays much less. Have fun!
2007-01-14 14:34:59 · answer #4 · answered by U can't b serious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all, you haven't even talked to her yet, so there is no reason to freak out. Second of all, if you used all the right procautions to make sure a pregnancy did not result from your one night stand, then you can breathe easy. Even if she is pregnant, just chillax until you get a DNA test done. If it is your child, you can't just refuse to take care of the baby that you helped to create. You will have to see if you can relinquish all of your parental rights. If not, there really isn't much you can do. The best thing you can do right now is talk to her, and take it from there.
2007-01-13 22:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a father, you are a father regardless if you are ready or not. You don't have an option to refuse financial responsibility for a child. It didn't ask to be born fatherless.
Did it ever occur to you that maybe she isn't calling you to tell you that she is pregnant? It might be something else like HIV, Hepatitis or some other medical condition that requires her to call her past sexual partners.
Make sure you call her and find out what she wants to talk about. Start wearing condoms.
2007-01-13 22:28:33 · answer #6 · answered by ssstinagail 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can be the father but there is a chance that it isn't yours.
If she had a one night stand with you then most likly she has slept around with other guys.
As so trying to get out of paying child support if it is yours, your a loser for even thinking about.
If that is your child, then it is your duty to provide for that baby that you created. Be a man and take responsibility if it is yours.
As soon as the baby is born get a DNA test done right away.
Don't delay on the test and don't let her delay.
Just get it over with.
She might have waited to tell you because she might have thought it was someone elses child and then figured out later on that it wasn't. She might have had to narrow it down depending on if she slept with other guys.
Just get the DNA test done and find out for sure.
Be a man and own up to it if it is yours. That baby could be your blood and deserves to know his/her father.
If you have sex then your taking a chance of getting a girl pregnant. COndoms don't always work.
My two kids are proof of that. Both were conceived while using a condom.
Remember that if your inside of her before you ejaculate and you don't have a condom on, there is always pre-*** that enters her. You may have put a condom on but if you were in her at anytime without a condom, then you could have gotten her pregnant.
Then there are always things that can go wrong with condoms. IF you kept it in your walet but sat down with it in your pocket or put your wallet down someone, it can always get damaged and then isn't effective any more.
2007-01-13 22:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by Tired-Mom 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I know you may not be ready for fatherhood right now but you might as well face the possibility and begin planning for it in case you are. First you need to talk to the girl to see if that is really what she wants to talk about. There's a chance it could be something completely different. Next have DNA test done ASAP. If you can afford it have it done before the baby is born, if not as soon as the baby is born. (Possibly before she and the kid check out of the hospital.) IF it really is you kid, begin taking responsibility immediately. The last thing you want is for your son or daughter to grow up thinking that their father had to be forced to care for them.
Having said all of that, it may not come to all of that. She may be calling to see if you still want the jacket you left at her house,
2007-01-13 22:34:21 · answer #8 · answered by babydoll 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay first of all condoms are not full proof. Second of all if it was a one night stand, then maybe she was scared to tell you of a possible pregnancy! Who wants to go home to their family and say hey I'm pregnant with some guys baby who I only met once and screwed. If a DNA test proves that you are the father, you can give up your parental rights however depending on where you live, she may be able to take you for child support even if you give up your rights!
AND.....HERES SOME ADVICE FOR YOU!!!! IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO BE A DADDY, DON'T HAVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-13 22:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by jule9104 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she got pregnant, she probably called you because she just had the baby. If she claims it is your child, definitely take a paternity test. If the baby is yours, you have to take financial responsibility. This is not a moral dilemma - it is the law.
On the other hand, what if it is something as simple as she had a one-night stand with you and started dating someone else later. Now they could have broken up and she wants to see if you are available.
Who knows? You should call her back, just in case.
2007-01-13 22:25:50 · answer #10 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
get a DNA, test done. Some elise could be the father but I've known 2 people that have gotten pregnant with a condom use it's really, really rare
2007-01-13 22:26:11 · answer #11 · answered by Monet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋