My 4 yr. old daughter is very disobedient -what should i do?

Question

I've tried time-outs, taking toys away, and ignoring her. None seem to work. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I would suggest you ask for help from other parents and not from people who think they know everything.

Cough ** See above ** Cough

Answer 2

Rules need to be VERY clear, and consequences even more clear. Rank the misbehaviors that you need to change from 1-10, 1 being the "I wish she would stop this behavior" to 10 being the "this can NEVER happen again!!!".

Next attach the following consequences for each misbehavior

Misbehaviors you ranked from 1-3: should be a time out in the naughty chair, or step for 4 min. 1 min. per year old she is.

Misbehaviors you ranked from 4-6: any of the following - Take a favorite toy away for a day, Long time out (1/2 hour or more), Take candy/special treats away for a day, cancel her fun time that day.

Misbehaviors you rank from 7-10: SPANKING. This can not be a reactionary punishment, it needs to be for CLEAR rule breaking. By always being consistent on this one brings everything else in line. This is what will save you. When she breaks these rules you need to tell her that she has earned as spanking, and to go to her room and think about what she did. 5 min. later you should come in have a little talk about how she could have avoided this punishment. pull down her pants and panties, lay her across your lap, and give her the spanking. All spankings are meant to hurt, however if her misbehavior was a #7 then it wouldn't hurt as bad as a #10. Don't think I am saying you should abuse your child, but a good spanking should leave her crying some real tears.

After the consequences (most importantly after the spanking) there needs to be a lot of communication, and positive talk, now is the time to build her back up again. Lots of hugs and kisses, and saying things like "your to smart of a child to act that way" or " I know you can do better" also listen to what she has to say, ask her easy questions you know she can answer then say" WOW!!! see how smart you are, you know how to do this" then more kisses and hugs.

Believe me, being a mom of 3 girls, I have been successful twice, and in process once going through the wonderful 4s, IT DOES GET BETTER. However be careful, girls tend to be sweet between 5-7, then come back for more at around 8.

My best wishes
Good Luck

Answer 3

Are you using the time outs this way?

When she is disobedient, make her sit in a chair in the middle of the room. She needs to sit on it willingly, do not force her. Explain why she is there and what she did wrong.

She needs to sit there for 1 minute for each year old (4 years=4 minutes).

If she gets up, the clock starts over at 0.

When the time out is done, she needs to apologize and tell you what she did wrong. "mommy, i am sorry i hit you". Then, give her a hug, and tell her you love her.

Use it as a teaching tool, not a punishment.
She needs to understand between right and wrong.

It worked for me, very well. Good luck!

Answer 4

*Work hard to be very consistant. If you tell her to do something or not to do something, follow up immediately to make sure it happens. When she obeys, praise and thank her. When she doesn't let her know what the consequences are and follow through "every time".
*Try a behavior chart, very simple, where when she "obeys" a certain number of times, she gets a treat. Make a bit of a game of it at first like "Simon says" and let the first prize be easy.
*Don't be emotional and don't power struggle with her. She must understand that adults are in charge and that she must mind, and that less than that is not acceptable. Be matter of fact when she chooses the consequences rather than to obey.
*Make sure that you spend some quality time with her where you are just interacting, not around this issue. It is easy to get caught up in a negative relationship over behavior and forget to just enjoy her! (She'll grow out of this with your loving support!)

Answer 5

I have a four year old and a 2 year old. I guess by your question that you have never spanked her? A 4 year old knows when they are doing something wrong or against the "rules". Set clear boundaries and tell her what the consequences will be if she does not follow the rules....Try a extended time out as a last resort...If she breaks the rule right after her time out....Put her right back into the time out...You have to be stronger willed then your 4 year old...and believe me I know this can be tough...Good luck!

Answer 6

I have read the answers before this one the time out one is great and you MUST be consistent, it will be a rough couple of days but when you DO NOT GIVE IN and show her who is boss it will get better it's hard i know but it will be worth it do not spank it doesn't work, being consistent does, but i realize it can be so hard give yourself a brake and tell yourself you are doing a good job often,, good luck it will be OK

Answer 7

Her is what my Grandfather's Grandfather,my Father and I and my daughter used ; a good old fashioned *** whoopin' ! The Bible says in the book of Proverbs: "spare the rod and spoil the child"! It has woked for centuries and will work today better than any book on child rearing. Gets their attention REAL QUICK!

Answer 8

I had this problem so I turned the tables and became disobedient back!

I even had a tantrum which shocked my little boy sooo much that he never did it again.

Kids are so clever ~ play them at their own game

Good Luck

Answer 9

Call Super Nanny

Answer 10

Nanny 911, or SuperNanny. both have books out that are filled with everything for all your parenting emergencies. and they work if you follow through with the suggestions and are consistent

Answer 11

That's proof that those forms of "discipline" don't really work on some kids. and parents need to get a clue and stop trying to "best friend" their kids and actually show them who's boss. It's just going to get worse when your daughter becomes a teenager, if you don't get control of her now.