i REALLLYYYYY need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

i posted another question before this but i don't think people really got the idea of what i meant. so im gonna restate everything over again.

im a 14 year old girl, and i go to high school where drama lives. i don't like starting problems or being involved in them but somehow i always end up in those situations. most of my problems aren't caused by me. i usually avoid startign problems with people unless it serious. however, people always try to start problems with me. sometimes i walk away form these people but sometimes they pick fights with me and i have no choice but to defend myself. but the problem is that i'm not a strong person physically OR mentally. i get scared very easily and i'm not good at fighting. is there any way i could help myself to be PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY stronger??

Answer 1

Change schools, you should not have to deal with these issue on such a regular basis. Sit down with your parents and explain to them that being at this school is hazardous to your health, well being, your mental state, and it will start affecting your grades. This should get their attention and I wish you good luck. But fighting will never be an answer to drama. The more you fight, the more you will have to fight!

Answer 2

I answered your last question but I see now that the facts you've added here make a difference. I still stand behind my previous answer for the most part but now I understand that the cause of the fights is not simply your personal anger.

I think the problem here is not your lack of physical or mental strength. It is more what the administration of your school allows to continue. Changing schools would be the best option but that may not be possible. I assume that your school administration is aware that there is a problem. If they are not, alert them or if you are not comfortable, talk to an adult you trust and enlist their help. If the school is aware and is turning a blind eye or seems unable to stop the violence, call the school board... the board of education... write a letter to the editor of your city's paper.... call your assemblyman... you don't have to be an adult to do most of this, you can take up this fight on your own... I think for lots of those ideas, you don't even have to use your name.

While I think that being mentally and physically healthy is a good idea especially since your mind and body have to last til you die, I don't think that your simply getting better fit will help the problem... at best it will put a bandaid on a broken arm

Good luck

Answer 3

The more you grow and learn the stronger you will be. And you will be able to solve your problems by talking them out instead of a knock down firght.
You need to be tough inside and stand up for yourself. This will show well on you to others and they will not pick on you. So if you head is in the right place they will back off. You need dicipline. The best way to get it is to learn and grow. Read books, take classes and work on it. I had to do that when I was a teen and I got so powerful that I knew no one could ever make me feel bad again.
Here are some things I tired and they worked:

Took class at Dale Carnegie or read his books.
Take Assertive Training
Take martial arts classes like Akido, Tae Bo, Kick Boxing and
more. It connects the mind, body and spirit. Not to fight others
but to make a presence.
Learn about Spirituality and Personality types. This helps you
deal with all types of people and learn about your destiny in
life. Gives you a good foundation.
Get involved in Military training or groups they are great to make
you a stronger person. Civil Air Patrol (Air Force Group for
teens is great) teaches leadership. No need to go into military
it is a program for teens.

Here are some books:

The Luck Factor by Dr. Richard Wiseman
Soul Signs by Rosemary Althea

The best two books and they can really help you. Buy on amazon.
Also try any by Sylvia Browne or Rosemary Althea.

Good Luck

Answer 4

You have already given your answer for your self in Saying, "...sometimes I walk away from these people..." There is nothing wrong with avoiding a fight, even an emotional argument. To successfully avoid a fight or to turn a potential fight into a calm discussion is the hallmark of a strong person. A strong person (especially a girl), or nation, does not have to settle things with a physical fight

Read the poem "Desiderata" and make copies of it to give to people who want to fight and won't calmly reason. If you feel the need to argue and fight over issues it usually means you are really unsure of your own beliefs. Be sure you know what you are talking about before popping off in a reply to an insult. Like the poem says, silence is often peaceful.

Answer 5

I'm sorry that your having these problems and i hope that it gets better for you. Have you tried to change the people that you associate with? Sometimes it may not be you that the person is having the problem with but someone you know. unfortunately they could be trying to send some sort of message to them and since your not "strong" they figure you as an easy target. Try making some new friends maybe from church or something. As far as physically i don't believe in violence really but i do understand that you have to protect yourself or at least feel that you can if need be. Personally I choose kick boxing, it was very fun and it help build strength and endurance. It also can give you confidence knowing that you can protect yourself even though you don't always have to..... (bring it up to some people around you that maybe able to help and see what they have to say)

Answer 6

I had this problem too when I was your age and a lot of this may have to do with how you carry yourself and your self-confidence. Passive body language like looking down at the ground or walking slouched over can send out signals to aggressive people that you may be an easy mark.

The first thing you need to know and remember, is that you don't deserve this type of treatment...ever. If people are starting fights with you, then you need to let your parents get involved and have them talk to the principal. Fights and power plays happen in school but there's no reason for you to have to be subjected to this type of bullying. You need for the adults to step up and help you out.

Then you can start working on ways to increase your confidence and self-esteem because honestly these are some of the greatest strengths a person can have.

Bullying can affect your self-confidence and belief in yourself. Finding activities you enjoy and are good at can help to restore your self-esteem. Take time to explore new interests and develop new talents and skills. Bullying can also leave you feeling rejected, isolated, and alone. It is important to try to make new friendships with people who share your interests. Consider participating in extra-curricular activities or joining a group outside of school, such as an after-school program, church youth group, or sports team.

Building self-confidence makes a person mentally stronger and bullies rarely target people with strong self-confidence.

If at all possible, avoid being alone with bullies; avoid areas that are isolated or unsupervised by adults, and stick with friends as much as possible.

Do not retaliate against a bully or let the bully see how much he or she has upset you. If bullies know they are getting to you, they are likely to torment you more. If at all possible, stay calm and respond evenly and firmly or else say nothing and walk away. Sometimes you can make a joke, laugh at yourself, and use humor to defuse a situation.

Take care and I hope things get better for you soon.

Answer 7

Growing up is always a difficult. No one has ever had the perfect youth. The fact that you see the problem and want to make things better shows that you a mature young adult. If things are truly as bad as you say on a daily basis then you need to sit down with your parents or an adult you trust and discuss everything. Have your grades dropped or are you getting suspended or in trouble on a regular basis? Changing schools could be a possibility but not all areas have enough schools close enough to make this a valid possibility. Perhaps you should try joining up with a different group of friends of change a couple classes. Try a different route to your classes. But whatever you try defiantly talk to your parents. They love you, and want you to be happy and healthy.

Answer 8

Hi
what i would recommend you to do in this situation is for physicall health i would say run a mile a day, go to the gym every sunday because saturaday is for sleeping ;]. As for mentall health i would recommend doing brain teasers and things that are mentally challenging.

Answer 9

Karate classes could help, physically and mentally

Answer 10

If I were you, I would start experimenting with drugs.