My six year old daughter is afraid to leave my side when she is home from school. She clings to me all night and worries. Tell me is this normal and if not what can I do?
2007-01-13 12:31:58 · 15 answers · asked by Sterlingrose 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
We(meaning My Fiance and me) are expecting in April. She has voiced this to her teacher about being left behind. I as well as other people have told her numerous times that I will not leave her alone nor will she miss the baby. Could this be a part of the concern she has? Also what I meant earlier was she goes to school(Kindergarten)and for the most part is fine. Its here at home that she is a lil clingy.
2007-01-13 12:54:02 · update #1
I think it's pretty normal especially because of the new baby coming. She's probably a little insecure about where she'll fit in the family once the new one arrives. It's actually kinda scary if you think about it. She may be worried that she'll be replaced. To a 6 year old that could be realistic.
I suggest that you continue to reassure her and don't push her away when she clings (even though it's probably very tempting to do that). Maybe spend a little extra time with her before bedtime or after dinner do something special like taking her to a movie or whatever.
Good luck and congrats on the new addition.
2007-01-13 13:02:21 · answer #1 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Six is a hard, hard age. Children are moving from a self-centered view of the world into a more abstract level of thinking. They are better able to understand the viewpoints of other people. While this is good in some ways, it also leads children to insecurities. The five year old is a superhero in charge of the world...the six year old realizes that she is not invincible, is mortal, and can't really change anything. Yikes!!!! Your daughter is looking for control in a world that is frightening. She can't control the other aspects of your life, or the new baby coming, but she can be sure to keep you in sight when she is home.
So...a few suggestions. First of all, ban the tv news from your home if you haven't already. We've found that the news is far scarier than any movie or tv show ever could be! Next, work hard to reassure her about her move into a new level of childhood. Now that she is six, there are many things that she can do that she couldn't do before. Toss these reflexively into your conversation. "Wow, it's so great that you can reach the sink and get yourself water!" "You have so many neat ideas!" Always be clear with where you will be..."I'm going to the laundry room to get some laundry. I bet that I can be back in this room before you sing the alphabet three times." And give her control over aspects of her routine. A chart on the refrigerator could work. "In the morning, I will be in the room to get you dressed...but then you will be in charge of brushing your teeth on your own." Build in small separations, with the two of you on the same floor or in adjacent rooms, and then slowly build up to some longer time apart.
Good luck!
2007-01-13 13:55:38 · answer #2 · answered by snowberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my daughter started grade 1, she told me that she missed me because she didn't get to stay at home with me anymore. Your daughter is in school full time now, and knows that a baby will be coming soon. I think what she's doing is probably pretty normal under the circumstances. Just be patient, let her cling, and maybe talk about what a good helper she can be when the new baby comes. Doing special things together, like baking cookies or reading stories, made my daughter feel better.
2007-01-13 13:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the problem stems from the baby, you'll have to adress that. First, you need to make sure she knows what's happening, because right now she may see the baby as an intruder, not as part of the family. You could buy a book for this situation, something with a title like "My New Baby Sibling". When the baby does come, she will probably be jealous and envious, and so you have to make sure that if the baby is crying, and she's in the room, only one of the parents deals with the baby, and the other deals with your daughter. I'm sure when the time comes, your daughter will be able to appreciate her new "doll".
2007-01-14 10:52:33 · answer #4 · answered by fortune_cell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she been told you will have to go "away' to have the baby? Maybe she is scared she will come home and you wont be there. Why dont you just ask her? She is 6 years old you can talk to her. She may be more forthcoming than you think. Reassure her that there is enough love to go around and that you will always love her. It may not be the baby at all, it may be she wants to stay a little girl instead of being big.
2007-01-14 04:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think something may be happening at school that makes her feel powerless and she is clinging to you because she knows you will protect her? Maybe she only feels safe when she is by your side. I would ask her a lot of questions and listen carefully to her answers. Maybe there is a bully in her class or maybe her teacher is not treating her fairly. We all know what it feels like to be a child and have an adult who we see as being an authority figure treat us rudely.
2007-01-13 12:41:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always remember that "normal" is a setting on the washing machine. Sounds like your daughter has a lot going on, with a new marriage pending and new baby, as well as just starting school. Thats a lot of changes in her life. I would definately talk to her about it, remember, kids don't always have the vocabulary to express how they feel. A mother daughter day with lots of opportunity to talk to each other might be just the opening she needs to reassure her that your heart is big enough to love new people without loving her any less. When I am uncertain about what's going on with my kids, I sometimes put words to it for them and ask if that is what's bothering them. If you continue to be worried about her, talk to her doctor.
2007-01-13 14:06:14 · answer #7 · answered by Robin R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find out if anything "unusuall" is happening at school. Maybe she is being bullied and thats why she wont leave your side when you're around.
It could also just be that she is needing emotional stability,have there been any major upheavals in her life lately? This can make children very clingy.
Just comfort her and let her know how much you love her and that its your job to protect her so she must tell you what is disturbing her so much so you can "fix" it.
2007-01-13 12:39:34 · answer #8 · answered by TakeNoticeNow 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is all so normal regardless of the fact that you have another child on the way. Your 6 year old only needs to have a new thing to hang on to. No coddling and that this is the new reality. Kids will adapt. This is such a no brainer that I don't feel like typing anymore.
2007-01-13 13:03:05 · answer #9 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself a few questions.do you have anything strange or new in the house.like a new boyfriend or husband. does she act excited about leaving the house.has she been like this beforee she started school?or before the new person.has some one close to her passed away.anything that you can think of that happened befor this behavior.you may need to take her to counseling.just the two of you. good luck because she will have enough time to be depressed when she starts paying bills.she should be enjoying her childhood
2007-01-13 12:50:22 · answer #10 · answered by MISS JONES 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋