what do u think about my poem?

Question

can you please tell me your genuine thoughts on this peom please, please no nastyness just honesty


Photo booth

Four pounds fifty I must be mad
But a passport must be had
To go to Spain to have some fun
So I need this picture it must be done

You sit upon the seat and close the blind
Four pounds fifty in change I must find
You hope Ur hair looks just right
You don’t want the photo to look a sight

You need to adjust the seat you frown
And then you realise the seat wont go down
I'm to tall my heads not in the frame
This isn’t right I’m not playing a game

You twist and turn with all your might
The stupid chair you begin to fight
One last try you twist with a frown
Fantastic it’s going down

You sit and smile this is great
I bet I look better than my mate
A flash a whirl all is complete
And thankfully you rise to your feet

You tap you feet as you stand and wait
Doesn’t this machine know I’m going to be late?
How much longer four minutes it says
No wonder mum said patience pays

There’s a click a tick and a few low hums
Then a shudder and out the pictures comes
Thank goodness for that you say with relief
Then realise you have something in your teeth

Answer 1

This poem was funny and interesting. I wanted to see the outcome. I write poetry too and enjoy your sense of humor. I can tell it is your first draft. Tighten up a little of the spelling to clarify your points and Voila... you have something there. Cute, funny and definitely something to put in your Spain scrapbook.

I like your rhyming schemes and the meter of your poem, it's quite witty and rather clever.

Answer 2

you wouldn't smile on your passport picture, they probably wouldn't accept and you would have to take another one and you also need the date the picture was taken, you need a sign thingy in front of your shirt that says when you took the picture and it has to be on the right size and stuff, you probably wouldn't take a passport picture on a photo booth, but that's ok.
besides if you could see that you were not fitting in the frame you would maybe also realise that there was something in your teeth.
but anyways, i think it's pretty funny and it rhymes.

Answer 3

i read this poem really quick
and some of the verses
i admit will stick

but the further i make
my screen scroll down
my face stops smiling
and becomes a frown

very good at first
and makes a few points
and by answering this
i get 2 points

but now ive read it
i must admit
it was a bit crap now
wasnt it?

Answer 4

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not unavoidably ought to rhyme notwithstanding it desires to hit my emotions. i think of readability of expression is significant as properly. i do no longer opt to 2d wager what i'm interpreting approximately. I constantly seek for what I term "poetic gem stones"interior the textual content textile.

Answer 5

the continuity is lacking, it keeps changing from you to i, stick with one or the other, is it you or me who is having the photo done?

the couplets need a little tweaking to keep the length more closely matched.

other than that it sounds quite good

Answer 6

Alright.

Answer 7

its good. there's some typos..
i sorta dont like this part.. :/

You hope Ur hair looks just right
You don’t want the photo to look a sight <<----Wat??

yes..and there's this typo..
You tap you feet as you stand and wait

YOUR FEEt.>

otherwise its sounds good :]

Answer 8

You are the next poet laureate,with out a doubt.

Answer 9

long. not bad. good use of rhythm, rhyming couplets and poetic licence. nothing that will rival william blake though.

Answer 10

Its quite good.