2007-01-13 11:26:01 · 9 answers · asked by luckylady 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Our relationship is headed towards marriage, the boys are 4 and 6. The ex acts like the ex-(negative towards anyone- which I understand). I have no kids of my own, and am looking for advice on how to meet the boys and make it easy for them. Any advice will help.
Thanks
2007-01-13 14:46:30 · update #1
Don't meet them until you have a sense of a future committment. Then keep it casual. Don't introduce yourself as a girlfriend and don't intrude on their time with dad.
Perhaps all going bowling together or something where there is more focus on the activity then you. Perhaps, depending in their ages, if they were allowed to bring a friend, it woudn't seem so odd that dad did too.
2007-01-13 12:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How new is this relationship? Is this a forever thing? How important is it for you to meet them at this point? Where is your relationship headed? How long has he been divorced or away from his ex? You do not want to set yourself up for failure if the old relationship is not that OLD! If you know what I mean. You don't want the kids to dislike you because they are still dealing with the break up of their folks.
On a lighter note, you guys are ready and you plan on being together...Do you have kids? if so, you should meet up at Chuck E. Cheeses or some place with video games, tokens and food. He can introduce you. If you don't have kids he meet at the mall for lunch. He can ask you to join them as you walk by.
2007-01-13 20:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by Mother of Four and More 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since it's a new relationship, make sure that you know that it is actually going somewhere, and that it will be long lasting. Because if you are meeting these boys, these boys will see you as their new mommy.
so just don't bother at all, if none of that is happening.
The best way to meet the kids, is when your boyfriend takes his kids on outings, like out to a fun restaurant, or places similar to chuck e cheeses. they will enjoy meeting you in an environment that they are comfortable in, instead of somewhere serious, which will be awkward for them, and will cause them to feel awkward to you.
2007-01-13 19:35:58 · answer #3 · answered by ♥madluv4tai♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are the kids?
I dated someone with 2 kids--a 2 year old and a 7 year old--the 2 year old I met first and he was just fine with me--I never had an 'official' meeting with the 7 year old but we did see each other a few times--she wasnt too fond of me I dont think, lol
maybe you can all go to chuck e cheese or someplace like that?
an indoor park, zoo, the movies?
2007-01-13 19:34:37 · answer #4 · answered by Shellberry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way is to make sure you have a talk with your kids about you dating. Depending on there age but, As someone young they dont understand it much so possibly explain they are not tring to take their dad's place it just someone who may want to take care of them and love.
2007-01-13 19:36:08 · answer #5 · answered by bluebutterflyfarie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better to meet them on neutral ground somewhere (not at his home)...like at the park (picnic, weather permitting)...or if you are going to meet them at his place...you should be prepared to bake cookies (as a group)...something that requires being active together...gives them a chance to relax around you...and not be focussing on feeling uncomfortable...hopefully you two are really serious...not bringing the children in on a maybe relationship...if it is still at a maybe stage...wait.
2007-01-13 19:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt meet them until you are sure you are going to stay together. No since in meeting them and then the next week daddy is with someone else. I would wait til it is serious.
2007-01-13 19:29:43 · answer #7 · answered by operationspiritlift 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think lower pressure is better. Just go do something fun like he would with any of his other friends. I'm sure his kids have hung out with him and his friends before. Depending on their ages, you might go mini-golfing or to a zoo or something. Just so that it is friendly and fun.
2007-01-13 19:35:29 · answer #8 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can just met them in general. Just be nice and say hi I'm a friend of your dad's and be nice to them. That's all I can say.
2007-01-13 19:34:34 · answer #9 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋