Plz help i can't stop crying i just wanna die rite now???

Question

i was sooo much happoier still a little miserable (but tht i think was from just having no friends which i was always miserable for) but now i feel so much much happier!!! when my mom moved out away from my dad. even then though he still was and is trying to control us but didn't really get the chance to since he wasn't living w/ us. and yes my mom would let him she's so weak. but still i was happoer being away from tht asshole(even though we saw hi, evberyday at my grandma's) but she's feeling so lonely and depressed liek her usual self she says we're going back! (i can't help crying as i write this). i was so happy and now it's all just crushed down. even if he wud change it's not the same (even if he wasn't mean he'd still control like now and i still feel more free in this house no home) if u want info on my dad look at all my old quests. and i'm not an adult so i can't move out. i wish my mom foudn sum1else wut do i do? oh and how do i make tht 2nd additonal detil box *** up to wr

Additional Details

54 minutes ago
in our old house everytime i used to hear the garage i would feel sad and scared becuz he was cumin, everytime he comes in i feel like that and i even fee; abnormal for the way i feel (especialy how i feel when i cry like now) i feel like i'me happy but not it's being crushed and like i said even if he did change i still wudn't wanna go bak. especially since my mom wud nevet leave then. i know tht sounds stupid but u don't understand. and i'm all alone! cuz he's mr. nice guy ro my ext. fam so they'll be happy and they know he is or was! u know be4 my mom married him she never dated him or knew him personally! she just saw him at places w/ fam. and liked him 4 his looks! (she doesn't know i know tht my grandma told me) (and he cheated on her b4!) i wana kill myself and i wud if i wasn't afraid of death or burning in hell) yea he had a bad childhood incase ur wonderin. wut shud i do?

20 minutes ago
if my mom were to do this i could never forgive her why do ppl have to be married? why do women feel so alone w/o someone? she says she's afraid of being alone and sick especially when she's old and i will take care of her i said i would but no she has to go back to him how could my mom do this to me? just thinking about our old house (bot even him) makes me feel 'ughh' even when i lived htere and he wasn't there it seemed bad. especially on the weekends it just felt like such a sick feeling i felt like that when i woke up. but i don't feel like tht here. i know this all probably soudns abnormal but my dad was an *** to me my whole life. even my aunt who visited us says i'm much more confident this time(which isn't true) and happier(thts true 4sure). if she goes back it's like idk there'll be no life 4 me. sad at home and no friends to make me feel better or understand. at least i'm a lot happuer at homw now. i don't get picked on this yr but still ui'm a loser w/ only one friend and

12 minutes ago
i don't even know if she likes me sometimes. well skools totoally out of the situation. sry this is really long. i wish my mom was never stupid enough to marry my dad in the 1st place. why would you marry sum2 u know nothing about! and y wud let it happen if u know how my dad is (my uncle on my dad's side proposed it). i cud go to my grandma's house and she said i cud live with her. she sympathisez w/ me eeven though she relly likes my dad blindly like every1 else knwoing how he's treated me especially when i was a little kid. u know wut when i heard sotries like when all ym older cuz's (even the one on my mom's side!) were little they would be afraid of him and would become quiet and scared and **** when anything concerning him wud happen. my cuz used to (idk if she still does) hates him and she's not tht little she's a teen! she's the onyl one who saw him 4 wut he really was. see wut i mean even if he did change i'd be miserable.

25 seconds ago
my mom sayts if he becumes mean again she'll leave him. i can believe tht cuz she did this time but she said 4ever and i don't belive tht. cuzz at the beginnign when we moved out she said she had NO intentions of going back and she felt lonely then too i bet u. (i know her). sumtimes i wish i cud go bak in time and make sure my mom wudn't do this. even if she didn't get married and me & my bro wudn't exist. (God i feel so abnormall for the way i feel inside mayb cuz i've been told tht so much 4om my mom for ahting my dad and other famiyl ppl) if she were to go back i swear i'd never e happy agian as long as i'm there and i'd probably never ever talk again either to any1 or hardly to show my mom wut she's done to me (well i'd be sad naturllay anyways no need to fake it) and i'd never fprgive her for it. i'd rather forgive my dad. i won't hate her but i'll be mad at her 4ever. i just wish i could die right now and go to heaven..i don't ever wanna live w/ him again wut should i do?

Additional Details

2 hours ago
if you don't wanna read everything at least read the first part

Answer 1

I understand how you must feel and realize how difficult it is to accept your mom's decision when you finally have some peace in your life. Talk to a counselor at school and ask your grandmother if you can stay at her place or maybe with another relative. This situation is not forever and I know that it may seem that way for now. You mom doesn't hate you she is just a scared, confused woman who has grown used to the domineering ways of your father. Good luck and stay strong.

Answer 2

Life can really stink sometimes but you have to stay strong.

I remember when I had a case (much less important than yours) when I thought that there was no way out. My parents were arguing like crazy one night, and they didn't talk to each other for the longest time. I remember thinking, when is this going to end?

Then, however, I read this poem that got me going again. This person that wrote it said that things may go wrong sometimes, but you must not quit. You may succeed if you hang in there. After I read it I felt much stronger. When I checked the author, it said "A Winner"

No matter what happens, if you are strong willed, nothing can defeat you, and you will always come out on top.

After all, when there is a will, there is a way. I guarantee things will work out, as it did with my parents.

Answer 3

First off,,time changes things.Have you talked to your mom ? Tell her everything you are feeling. If you want to,,talk with your Grandma who seems to understand. Tell your mom how happy you are with him gone. Tell her to try to date other guys that she can get to know better first. The guy for her would be someone that she feels completely comfortable with. Why would she want to be with him if he is so controling? Why exactly do you think he's an ***? Is it because he is controling or is it something else too? What does he try to control? The relationship should be 50/50. I think that if they try again and it doesnt work out,,then she will leave him again. Only time will tell if things can get better.Just please have a good talk with your mom and tell her how unhappy you are. And tell her why. She will hear you and remember what you said. Its not that she doesnt care about you,,she is just trying to make the right choices. Sometimes people stay together also for financial reasons. Maybe they can work through it. Maybe he will try harder this time to make her happy. You never know what the future holds so hang in there. Things will get better. Everything has a way of working itself out one way or another.Good luck.

Answer 4

Honey. I'm 34 years old. But I felt this way at one time. I used to be sexually abused by my stepfather. I don't know what makes women so weak that they feel that the only option is to go back to an abusive man.

Since there seems to be only one option...you are going to have to try it...you and your mom need to be a team. You are going to have to tell her that no matter what she's feeling...you will not judge her. That the two of you can make it through it...and that she will find someone else. If that's what she's even ready for it. I understand she's lonely. We're all lonely sometimes. Tell her it will be you and her against the world...and she doesn't need him to help her through it. Tell her you'd rather die than see him come home at night.

And if there has been any abuse in the home whatsoever...you need to tell your school counselor immediately. They will help you.

Good luck to you sweetheart!!

Answer 5

Wow. I really don't know what to say. I can tell that you are truly affected by his presence. Have you ever talked to a counselor at school or a teacher? They might have a lot more resources than any of us do. All we can do is give you advice and our opinions. You really need to go talk to someone you know and trust besides your family. It's hard sometimes for family to get involved in bad/weird situations. Please go talk to your counselor. I am twisted inside just reading this, I know how hard it feels to not have any power over your situation.
Your mom sounds like she has low self esteem. Like she can't get on without this guy. It happens to a lot of people. Relationships are hard work. This guy has probably made your mom feel like she can't live without him. It sounds like she could use some counseling herself. It's sad that she doesn't see what this is doing to you, but sometimes people can only see what is happening to themselves.
Have you ever tried really discussing this with your mother?
Maybe you could tell her that you would feel better living with relatives, if they'll have you.
Good luck with everything.

Answer 6

Call a teen help line and get someone to talk too

Get a bible read it go to church and pray

Are you old enough to get emancipated-try that

Is there another relative you can live with-your grandma sounds like an option

talk to your mom and let her see this or email it to her

maybe she might change her mind but even if she doesnt it will be good to know that she saw what you were feeling in black and white

PLEASE DONT COMMIT SUICIDE-email me if you just want to talk. I will listen!

I will pray for you

I hope this helps

Answer 7

so your saying your misrable with your dad and why they got married if this was gonna happen?
ill tell you a story about me for a second...okay?
when i was born my mom and dad was so hapy to have me .
they would staire at mefor hours and take countless picturesof me smiling.
one day a fight broke out when i was 4.
even though i was young i could still feel the vive of negativity
so they got divorced just like that.my mom found a new love and wen with him to san francisco.
when she regretted it or living us shetried to come back and died in a car accident.we cried for hoursandthat was the worse new years ever.
it sounds likeyou dad and mom have still feelings about each other..just thing like this...your mom and dad have a history of love together..they cant help it..jst think this..they have there own world and dreams just like you..
being a parent hurts so bad that 50 percents of mothers or father scuicieded. they all had one dream 'keep my child happy'
but they notice somthing they did know.."they have there own mind that works todally diferent from them"


i think you should forgive your dad and mom for what they did.
plan what your going to say to them and make sure they get it and never forget about you.

being a parent is a selfless act if you die i dont think things will get better down here.
dont you feel like you want them to worry about you for a change and not just about there marriage problems?

Answer 8

u r obviously depressed and semi suicidal

start doing drugs that will buy u some time 2 figure out a plan, the drugs will take the depression away for short periods of time and will keep your from slitting your wrist. Other then that i dont know what to say.

Answer 9

It's hard when you begin to understand that even your parents aren't perfect and make terrible choices and mistakes. What makes it a little easier to tolerate is knowing that you can see, from the outside looking in, what their relationship is like, and learn from them. You'll be smarter in your own personal relationships from it, and you can ultimately triumph over their circumstances.

Answer 10

You may want to read this article http://nitzitry.notlong.com/ i found, will be useful also has info on different treatments and should help with your depression. And some natural remedies which will help cheer people up.