How do you stop a 4 yr old child from being a brat?

Question

My son, I love him to death, but he is just not appreciative of his toys or items he gets. I stopped buying him toys and even taking him places. Other than a spanking and taking away all of his toys, what other suggestions could you offer? Its just weird that he is like this cause I certainly was not raised like this.

Answer 1

Set up a "reward system" for him. Put up a board or large piece of paper where you can keep track of how many "points" he has. (Making it colorful etc is a bonus). Whenever he does something good (cleaning his room, listening when you ask him to do something, etc), tell him immediately that what he did was good and why and have him watch you put another "point" up on the board. (A point can be a star or a picture, anything really). Tell him that when he gets a set amount of "points" he can use them to buy "rewards". (These rewards can be anything, but preferably something that he will want). Whenever he does something "bad" tell him immediately that what he did was wrong and why and let him watch you remove one star. Make sure there is no "negative points" that would discourage him. During my child psychology clinical rotation I went to a state run institution for children with both mental illnesses as well as behavioral disorders. This was the method used with children with these problems. I can promise you that this works keeping in mind the following points:
1)Punishment or reward must be IMMEDIATE.
2)You should explain WHY it is right or wrong.
3)Punishment or reward must be CONSTANT. (In other words dont let him get away with doing something sometimes and then on other occasions decide to punish him.)
4)Punishment/reward must be FAIR. (Don't scrutinize EVERYTHING he does, but at the same time don't let him get away with behavior that is unacceptable.)
5)Finally, make sure you don't use this to "threaten" your child. Don't say "do this or I'll take a point away." You don't want to use this tool to grab power over him, it's a way of conditioning his behavior to learn what acceptable and unacceptable behavior. It really shouldn't be viewed as "punishment" but I lacked a better word when I was typing this. If you have any further questions feel free to msg me on aol instant messenger. Name: num1cubfn.

Answer 2

My 3.5year old has too many toys, too many clothes, too many of everything. What do you mean by not appreciative? Their attention span is about 3 minutes so appreciation is relative.

At one point i felt like that and had a really good clear out. Put half the toys away and in 1 months time have a swap of toys.
Remind him that for as much as he has, there are lots of children that have nothing and maybe he could share with some of them? And take excess to a charity shop or do a boot fair.

As for the brat bit ... learn to say no ;-)

Answer 3

You should really talk to his nana and let her know that you appreciate her taking care of him but that you have a certain way that you want things done and she needs to respect that and go along with it if she wants to spend time with him. At four years old he should not be taking a sippy cup to bed. It is becoming an addiction for him and it will be even more difficult to break him of it if it continues. I would say there is nothing wrong with letting him have one every once in a while like when he's in the car or leaving the house, but maybe in this case it's better just to get rid of them all together so that there is not the temptation to just give in to giving it to him at night. I guarantee that after about a week of not giving it to him, he will forget all about it. I have 3 girls under 7 years old and after 3 yrs old they never even wanted a sippy cup anymore because they wanted to drink from the "big girl cups" But all children are different. Just don't let your mother or in-law, make these decisions for you.

Answer 4

In your letter you stated that youve stopped giving you child toys, this is how he got the way he is! he knows that if he puts on a class act he ll get a toy,the minute you stop he turns on the tears.Just take him aside and in a calm way tell him no more tears and no more toys, dont ignore him altogether,but reward him in other ways whenever he is a good boy.Jan

Answer 5

When he throws a toy,doesn't put it away,etc. then take that item or items away.When he no longer has any toys left out to play with then he will start to think of his behavior.

Make him earn them back and then he will appreciate them more.

Also keep in mind that he is only 4 years old and he is more than likely just testing his limits.

Hang in there!

Answer 6

I have a four year old daughter and your idea of a brat is mine of normal in that age group!Do you expect a four year old to make his or her bed,eat meals on time,socialize with guests politely etc.well i dont,beyond a wholesome discipline,which does not include spanking,be gentle with the kid.
Just grab a bar of soap in your hand,if you hold it too tightly it'll definitely slip out and if you have a loose grip the result will be the same,you can keep it in your hand only if you grasp it firmly,the point is kids in that age group should be dealt with firmness,not too tight and not too loose.
Cheers.

Answer 7

theres no right or wrong way to deal with this but i put my 3 yr old daughter on the stairs 1 min for every year of their life supernanny is a great help try to download some episodes

Answer 8

just dont hit the child
call super nanny :)

Answer 9

Oh I'm sure you were perfect when you were four. I suggest you take parenting classes & put him in preschool so he can burn off his access energy & socialize.

Answer 10

When you become a better parent!