did i do the right thing?

Question

i just broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months. he treated me and loved me better/more than any guy has before. but i always had a hard time dealing with the fact that he's a father. we come from different cultures and upbringings too. i also didnt feel like it was equal. he felt that we could last forever, but i had my doubts. maybe the spark just faded for me. it was very rushed in the beginning, and i had just gotten out of a 3 year relationship.

now he's angry, bitter and hurt. i want to talk to him, but i dont know what to say. i feel horrible and it's so hard not to call and try to make things back to normal and all better. should i? i keep forgetting why i broke up with him and only remember the good times now.

did i do the right thing? am i right to end it now before it gets more serious? will we ever be able to talk again or be friends? what do i say when he comes to pick up his stuff?

Answer 1

yes

Answer 2

U said he treated u better than anyone else so what the hell was the prob?????? U women must like being treated like crap. U sit around saying how much u want a goodman. How u r so sick of being treated like crap. But the moment u get a good guy you runaway because he is too nice. Or u spend all yer time looking for faults and reasons not to be with him. Because u more than likely dont have any selfesteem and cant understand why he would want u and u dilude yourselves into thinking that eventually he will see i'm not so great or find fault in u and leave u. So u find a way to leave before he does so u don't get hurt . So now u have ripped out the guys heart and expect him to take u back after u realize u made a mistake. But would u give him a second chance hell no. And if u did u would hold it against him till he got so fed up he left again. So he has right to be angry and bitter. But If he really is a good guy he will understand and take u back just remember u wanted him back. So this time try appreciating what u have a little more. And be prepared for alot of sucking up for the first few weeks.

Answer 3

You clearly weren't interested - but it sounds like maybe you are a little bit lonely now - though that is not a reason to get back together. If he is hurt, let him have time away from you, then later on you can be friends, if you end up seeing each other again. I don't necessarily think that ex's make the best of friends, so it may not happen. This had nothing to do with your background or him having a kid (because you would deal with those things a lot easier if you were madly in love with him). Don't try to get back together because you will end up realizing that you did not like him in the first place - and you will end up hurting him again. Just date new people and wait for the right person.

Answer 4

You did the right thing, but not for the reason you think.

It is completely abnormal for men and women to not form permanent, lifetime relationships. That is the source of his hurt and anger. Normal people, expect their relationships to work and to last forever, especially since they are doing their part to make it happen. There is an actual investment the other person makes in you. It harms them tremendously for them to do that with another person and then have that person just throw it away.

Abnormal people are completely unstable. You have many partners over your lifetime and NEVER make anything work. Something is really wrong with you that has its roots in your basic decisions about what is important in life and what you spend your time and effort on. This will never be different with anyone else and you absolutely will not listen to people who know better even when most of your life has been wasted on stupidity. In other words, there is no hope and your guy had a responsibility to figure this out and dump you before you got too important to him. He didn't do this and you did him a HUGE favor leaving now, rather than waiting until you've been married a few years with a child or two.

It's best if you just move on and don't talk to him anymore. He needs to find someone like himself that he can have a stable marriage and family with. And you need to find a man more appropriate to your way of looking at the world.

Answer 5

It seem to me u remember the reasons for breaking up with him. U named several. Right now he is going to remain angry, bitter, and hurt. Time is the only cure for that. Right now there is no way ya'll are going to be friends. Don't try to get back together with him u would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. As time goes by ya'll may get back together and u may not. If u feel as if the spark has faded then u did the right thing. U may not think so now but in time u will. When u see him tell him u are sorry and someday u would like to be friends. He is probably not going to accept that but at least u tried. Good luck.

Answer 6

I think that you should get back together with him... I know that things like that can be hard. But if you love him then you will let things work out. and you will find that you respect who he is and not just what he is. As far as kids go... I know that can be hard, but that is a part of him and it can a hard thing to deal with. Don't let that get in the way of how you feel for him. if he respected you and loved you then why did you back out? I think you need to call him, or better yet meet him some where with no kids and it is fairly quite and tell him everything, you fear and doubts. I bet you if he knows what is going on with you then he will take you back, and if not that be friends with you... If he is as good as you say he will be respectful of what the confilict is that is going on. Good luck!

Answer 7

You have real reasons why you know you need to stop this now, before it gets only harder for the two of you. Try hard to explain what's on your heart and if nothing else you gave it all you had to end the relationship in a positive way. Be strong and he will see that you're sincere. Who knows, you just may become better friends after all is said and done.

Answer 8

We are all from different cultures and backgrounds but unfortunately your heart doesn't know this. For every problem there is a solution you just have to find it. Forget the past and get on with the future and keep remembering the good times when you get back together again. Good luck

Answer 9

i think that if those were concerns to begin with, you messed up in the first place by dating him. after seven months, the relationship is already a little serious. if you want to ever try to be friends with this guy, you two or gonna have to talk. he's hurt, and its a pretty good guess that he doesnt have closure - and from what it sounds like, nor do you. but before you open up that can of worms, try putting yourself in his shoes. how does it feel?

Answer 10

Yes you did the right thing.
If you felt you had to end it; then you made the right decision, you can't stay with him through pity.
You will both move on. In the long term, you know it was the right thing and so will he.

It is always hard to stay friends after a break-up so do your part, the rest is up to him.

Answer 11

Seem like you are putting yourself down and making yourself second class to no class when he see a special person in his heart and in his eyes. Girl you better go get the man and make it right! Take him to dinner and sincerely apology to him. Now is you do not want him in a serious relationship, then leave the whole thing along. I wish you the very best.