How can I stop being a shy girl?

Question

I'm 17 years old now and have always been the shy girl but I see I have really improved .I'm not as quiet as I used to be when I look back a few years ago. It takes me awhile to open up to people and be outgoing and funny. I act so different around friends. With guys I'm too quiet. Guys always try and talk to me but I don't know what to say I just get too nervous and look stupid. Then I come off looking stuck up or whatever. That's why I hardly ever date or have a boyfriend. Guys want the flirty, outgoing girl. I can be that once I get to know a guy better but I don't know. I need help. I don't want to be single forever.

Answer 1

reading this question i thought, "oh my god, my long lost twin!"
i'm the same way
but my friend has said i have opened up a lot
and if i can so can you,
not forever just a little while,
who knows what college and life will do to you

Answer 2

Guys don't necessarily want a flirty and outgoing girl. I am a very reserved person myself, single at 20. I've hardly touched the dating scene. All I know is that I would never go out with a loud and confident girl, because they are simply not my type. I'd get on much better with someone who would want to take things slowly with me.

I think the trick is not to change who you are, but to find someone like you. I know that's easier said than done. But I have patience myself that I'll meet the right girl someday, and on that day I'll be glad that I didn't rush into relationships that ended badly, because they were forced.

Answer 3

You sound like me at your age...almost fifteen years ago. Try to go to small gatherings and get to know guys one on one as friends. Maybe you will find someone lke that...if not word will spread that you are cool you just take a litte more time to be comfortable around people There is nothing wrong with that. College helped me a lot because I figued nobody there knew I was the quite girl so I forced myself to be outgoing. Good luck to you. If I got over my shyness you can to. It just takes some pushing. You will meet someone.

Answer 4

You don't seem to shy on here. Just have some confidence. There are a lot of guys out there that want to be with you. Just be you, and don't worry so much. It seems that you are just getting nervous around guys and that's why you don't seem very outgoing at first.

Answer 5

guys want the flirty girl to date, but you will be the kind of girl they look for in the long run. When you meet a guy, ask him to talk about himself. Be interested in people. And I want you to save the above letter, about not wanting to be single forever. Someday you will look back at it and laugh.

Answer 6

Ok... I'll address this a few ways... who cares; I like shy girls because their harder to "read", meaning you never know what's going on in their heads.

You know... I feel bad because I don't really know how to answer this for you. I mean you can become a whore, but then that will make you quite frankly... a slut... and then the rumors will start, yadda yadda yadda... stay shy, it's better that way for you... trust me. All guys your age (I was there once) only want one thing...

Answer 7

If you are shy around boys, follow these steps and soon you won't be.
Steps

1.
In school you are likely to sit next to boys
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In school you are likely to sit next to boys
Go to school--this is a good place to overcome your boy-shyness. Maybe you will end up sitting next to a boy in your class or you will get to work on a project with him. Just imagine he is one of your friends and keep breathing slowly if you become embarrassed or shy.
2. Join clubs. You will meet more people and feel confident!
3. Remember, you have nothing to worry about so just go up and talk to a boy, any boy. Little by little, you will find that you are not so shy around boys anymore!
4. A great way to talk with boys from your class or clubs is via instant messenger such as MSN or AIM. Its a lot less scary than talking face to face and it will help you build up your friendship so that it is easier to talk when you next see each other.
5. Go up to a boy your age that you see. Choose one at random. Start up a conversation. if you blow it, you have made your mistakes with a boy you don't particularly care about. But if it goes great, maybe you will make a new friend. In any case, you will learn a little something about communicating with boys and this will help you to build up your confidence.


Tips

* It's usually harder to talk to a boy you like. Start out by making conversation with someone you're already somewhat comfortable around, then when you feel confident enough, start talking to others--eventually chatting with the once-intimidating guys won't seem so impossible.
* Reassure yourself --- you can do this!
* Smile and try not to blush.
* Some boys can be incredibly tight-lipped. If you want to talk with them, you'll need to take the lead. Here are some suggestions on how to get a conversation going.
* Organize a large group (4 or 5 people) for a movie or other activity. Personally invite the boy to come so that he will feel obliged to attend.
* Make sure that he is having fun. Then gradually start a conversation with him and let him feel that he can talk to you.
* If you feel it is a good idea maybe at the end of the conversation talk to him alone and that could get you a boyfriend you know!
* If you do like him, don't make it TOO obvious..if he doesn't like you just yet, you'll just look dumb.Just play it out....maybe after a while of being friends, he'll like you! Then you can flirt ;)
* Take up activities often enjoyed by boys, for example, skateboarding. The skatepark is a great place to meet boys and you will have plenty to talk about when you ask others for help and guidance in a sport of this type.


Warnings

* Certain things boys will say may be unkind, but try not to focus on that. Generally speaking, they probably don't mean to hurt your feelings.
* A boy may feel uncomfortable with going with 4 girls, especially around ages 12 and 13. This is normal and just try not to make him feel like he is surrounded. Guys hate that!

Answer 8

i know this answer will sound sort of cliche, but just be yourself. forget for a second who everyone around you is, or what they think. pretend like you dont give a crap, even if you do. think of all the times they did something stupid, then do something just as stupid yourself! it'll give you something to laugh about later. blond moments are great conversation starters for dates lol. but, yeah, above all just be yourself. life's a ball, so let it bounce! =}

Answer 9

Many man like shy girls. Why don't you let the things go as they go. No one is perfect, no one is absolutely happy. Don't make yourself additional problems by trying to change yourself. Be you! Make simple things - smile a boy you like, tell him something... It i s simple!

Answer 10

Just be yourself, sometimes we try so hard to be what everyone may be looking for when all along that is not who we are. Just be nice, and don't be pushy or hurtful and they will like you.