she is cheating on him - do i tell him?

Question

i am mates with 2 people, who are going out with each other. i have known the boy for over 10 years, and am really close with him. i have known the girl for 4 years, but am good friends with her too. they have been going out with each other for over a year now, but recently i found out that she is cheating on him. she trusts me as a close friend, and tells me when she is going out with this other boy. my problem is - do i tell my boy mate that she is cheating on him. he would be crushed, and i would lose her as a friend. what do i do? i dont want to hurt anyone, but i think its too late! HELP!

Answer 1

keep out of it..you will be blamed..say nothing you know nothing..see no evil ...hear no evil ...speak no evil.

Answer 2

Tell her that she should tell him herself . Either brake it off with boy #2 or tell boy #1 . In a way it isn't any of your business but you are involved because you allowed her to dump on you and let it happen for an extended time . You'll probably lose some friends there . Be resigned to that .
I had a friend who was supposed to mail a letter for me and opened it up and read it . Then told my boyfriend that I had plans to go back to another 'love' . Needles to say a breach of trust like that is very hurtful.
You are between a rock and a hard place . Good luck to 'ya. Let your heart guide you and do what you feel is the right thing .

Answer 3

It's good to have friends, but your honesty and self-respect is more important. The boy needs to be aware of what the girl is doing or else the pain will just be worse for the boy to find out later.

How do you think the girl would react if you confront her about it? Is she willing to lose her boyfriend for this other guy? Just make it clear that you want to do what is right and saving that boy from more intense pain is the right thing to do. Don't involve yourself too much with dishonest people. Dishonest people are not bothered about lying, cheating, or stealing. Those traits are all related.

Answer 4

I think you need to speak to your female friend first and find out whats going on. If she is having an affair you need to point out what a difficult position this puts you in and make it clear that you are very uncomfortable with it. Give her the chance to end the affair or the relationship with your friend. If she dosen't do either then it might be better to tell your male friend and be a source of support for him. It's not a good idea to go storming in there telling him without speaking to her first.

Answer 5

I would tell, but at the same time, I would let her know that you are doing so. Let her know that it isn't really fair to put you in a position where you would be put in the middle of the friendship triangle. He has a right to know, because once he finds out about the cheating, he will be upset, but even more if he found out you knew about the cheating and did nothing about it. Put yourself in his position...how would you feel and would you want someone to tell you? I was in that very same situation a few years ago...I was crushed when I found out everyone else knew it but me...and I was angry no one told me, I felt like a fool.

Answer 6

Your female mate has put you in a very bad position. IMO, you have to tell him if he's a real friend. I would expect any true friend to tell me, to do otherwise is a betrayal of that friendship. And he will be less hurt if he knows you weren't in on the joke so to speak. He doesn't need to be hurt by both of you. Yes, he will be crushed, but will be so much more crushed when he finds out and realises someone he considered a friend for 10 years, wasn't a friend enough to tell him.
I'd tell your female friend that she has 24 hours to tell him herself, and if she doesn't you tell him....or just go tell him. He's your friend & you owe it to him. She'll have the new boy to lick her wounds.

Answer 7

This is quite a sticky setuation but I will try to help out the best I can. Lets see from what your telling me u are good freinds with both of them. It looks like to me u are a very nice person and are trying to be cool with your freinds the problem is it is very mest up what she is doing to him. This is one of these setuations where u cant win no matter what u do. U could do what u have been doing and keeping that horrible secret from him or u could tell him he will be upset but atleast he will know he has a great freind like u. Personelly if my boyfreind was cheating on me I would wanna know about it. I hope this helps sincerely Meg PS i hope it works out

Answer 8

hi,to keep both friendships in tact approach the female friend and just say you are a little disappointed with her actions and would like her to either stop the cheating i the next few days or tell her partner the truth.if not you would be obliged to say to him yourself.
also add that if it was him cheating that you would do the same for her.good luck and its refreshing to hear that there are some people out there that give a damn for other peoples feelings!

Answer 9

This is a difficult one if you are close to him you have to think would he tell you someone will get hurt if the girl tells you when she is going out with him get someone else to take the boy there he will see for himself sorry couldn't give you a better answer good luck

Answer 10

You should tell your boy mate about his girlfriend. Even though both are your close friends (which makes things even), the girl is doing something bad/wrong and you should "do justice" and alert him of what she's doing. Hope things work out!

Answer 11

Well the answer is clear, you,ve been freinds with him for 10 years ,then I think as a freind you should tell him.
Would you like it if he knew your boyfreind was screwing around on you and didn,t say anything. Obviously she does,nt care that much about him anyway. So that leaves him wasteing time.
Plenty of fish in the sea.
Not to mention the fact he can never trust her again.
I say get rid of her ,what are freinds for.