How do I support my friend that just found out that she has breast cancer?

Question

Besides being there for her, which I will do. But I want to do more. She is only 25 and just found out yesterday. I want to buy everything that has a pink ribbon on it. I want to get every book, pamplet, web artical that gives any information on breast cancer. But is it too early? I want her to know that I am there for her and support her, but don't want to scare her. Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly apprieciated.

Answer 1

At first I got tired of getting pink ribbons, but the further out I get, the more I like them. For me, it was nice to have friends to go out with and forget about things for a while. I was 29 and 8 months pregnant when I was diagnosed, that was almost 3 years ago.

Anyway, what I saw is that the people who I thought were good friends kind of disappeared (not all of them, just some). When it comes to cancer, there are angels and ******* out there. You, my friend, are an angel.

Answer 2

As a 1 year survivor I was really over the pink ribbon thing at first, too. My I suggest something like a having a girls day out for a massage with lunch. At lunch explain to your friend that you will be there for her.

Now is the best time to plan. No matter what type of treatment she has she most likely will never be in the mood to do things like clean house or cook. Actually, I wasn't able to "clean" my house during chemo and several weeks afterwards due to germs.

As far as planning meals, she may be limited on what she will be able to eat during treatment. If she has family, meal that can be easily frozen and easily prepared. I was VERY limited on what I could eat. I wasn't able to eat many red sauces. I also had to stay away from many fruits due to teh citric acid they contain and banbanna's were totally out per doctors orders (something to do with the peel and germs) Typically the doctor will advise what type of foods to stick with.

Just remember that no matter how exterme the treatment is or isn't she will still go through she will need support. Just being there for here through every step will be the best thing you could do. Some woman do not want to trouble their friends by asking for help. Let her know how you feel and tell her you wish you could read her mind and know what she needs, but you can't, so make she knows you are depending on her to let you know what see needs.

Also, a great web site that puts everything in lay mans terms is breastcancer.org. Check it out!


There is also a great poem out there about what cancer cannot do, you might want to read it and share it with your friend as an ice breaker to talk.

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit.

Answer 3

You are a good friend to want to help.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Read up on breast cancer. Find out what the treatments are and what to expect.
2. Join a support group. There is power in numbers. Check your local American Cancer Society branch. There is no doubt a Breast Cancer Support Group- maybe even through the hospital your friend will be receiving her treatments.
3. Go with her for treatments.
4. Help at home with any housework or chores. She may be tired after the treatments. Having someone do the laundry, clean and run errands will be helpful. (Ask first, though)
5. Participate in Breast Cancer fundraisers. There are many. You can run/walk in honor of your friend. Get your friends to come on board.
6. Be cheerful and helpful and know when to step back.
7. Ask your friend what she would like you to do.

Early detection is a priority. :)

Answer 4

Dear One,

Oh my heart breaks for your friend as well as for you. My younger brother died a month ago of liver cancer. I just was with him all the time, he could call me anytime, and I did alot of chores for him, laundry, food shopping etc. He died in Hospice, if, and I hope it does not get that bad. I would suggest Hospice. But for here and now, just go with her to the doc's as often as you are able, or send her with someone else. She may beat this too, she is young and has alot going for her. I will light a candle for her. But just be her best chum, love is what will help the most. Also breast cancer support groups !!!

Answer 5

In addition to the good advice already posted, there are a couple of things I would suggest:

1.) AFTER you let her know that she can talk to you about herself/her cancer anytime for as long as she wants, THEN when you seeher or talk to her, make a point to talk about YOU and what's going on in your life. When everybody wants to talk about your cancer and how you are doing, it's a welcome relief to talk about anything else.

2.) If she has to spend time in the hospital (or has to be at home taking it easy/recovering), try to clear your schedule for a day & just hang out w/ her. It's easy to get bored and lonely.

When I was diagnosed with cancer & spent a week in the hospital, my Dad was going through one of the busiest, most crucial periods of his career. . . He spent the first 72hrs in my hospital room-cracking jokes, telling me stories about his childhood and our family history, sleeping. I think he only left to shower and to go get fast food for me! The next few days, he'd arrive around 5am, go to work about 8, then come back from 5:30ish to 11 or 12 at night. Im crying as I type b'cuz it made me feel so loved! I cant explain how much it meant to know someone is there (physically there!) during that time.

Answer 6

Tell her she's a touch fighter and will get throu this. Of course u can buy her things on breast cancer. Bye a pin 4 u and her! Tell her u care. I'm only 12 so take my advice or leave it.

Answer 7

Help her in a healthy diet with many fruits and vegetables.
Berrys, kiwi, mango, spice, brocoli, soy, Beans, and all thats natural. Many juices of that too.
Make that she drinks green tea because is good to the health.
reduce meats and salt, takes more garlic and oregon.
A good suplement of Vitamins , Quercetin and essiac is good too.
That she eat iogurts with seeds.
Exercice helps to promote a antistress activity.
My best wishes

Answer 8

the best you can do is be there for her. If you beieve in God pray and get as many other people to pray. I survived a large tumor. Give every treatment a chance. GOOD LUCK TO ALL

Answer 9

You are doing so much that's good. I'm glad also she have a friend like you. Remember the surviving changes is today good. Tell this to your friend.
I wish her and you good luck...

Answer 10

Some friends will go to doctor's appointments, keep their kids, go shopping for them and even shave their head when their friend loses their hair when they take chemo. It's all about how far you are willing to go for her.