I was going thru a rough divorce for a year- just finalized few weeks ago. I dont miss HIM- but i LOVED being married- and i just have a huge heart that needs affection. I was dating this other guy- we split recently. I thought i was ok- i just CANNOT seem to get out of this rut. I dont wanna talk to anyone, i cant even see the light at the end- even though i know theres one. My whole life i was stress free- now its just all piled up. I was drinkin too much- cuz thats the only way i could sleep (doc gave me ambien but didnt work). I missed work cuz i was getting sick so much- which made me stress about my job. Like i said- i just feel so depressed, like ive totally lost myself. I dont even feel like me. Ive gotten so many wrinkles and gained weight from the stress... which stresses me more- lol(kinda funny how that works).I went out ans spent tons of money cuz at the time i didnt care- now im bummed about it. I dont know if this will go away on its own- ive always been so happy. Help?
2007-01-13 09:19:14 · 19 answers · asked by skygirlchristine 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
right you need to take controll of your life ,get a back bone you can do it you do not need no man and why would one want you in this mess they like a woman in controll and at the moment you are not ,stop feeling sorry and move on, go out have fun ,dress up clean the house invite friends over ,,,to sllep if need be ,plan your day but make it possitive ,,,dont drink to sllep and dont take pills this will pass as soon as you have control ,its very hard when things change ,but its all it is a change ,and you will if you realy try adjust very fast,,,we are good at that ,,,look for things to do and places to go and dont just dive at the first man that shows you hes interested as thats dangerous,,,you could get hurt make a rule you will make friends only till you are in full controll of your life ,only then will you date,,,after all a man left you in this situation and you have to learn to adjust to it ,,,and when you do it wont ever matter if this happens again as you will be in controll ,,,and you will know you can cope ,,,and when you know you can cope you feel so much better when you do get in another relationship,because you know what ever he might throw at you ,its ok cos you cope ,and the confidence this will give you is massive ,,,,you whole life will be so much better bacause of it ,,,,just give it a try what have you got to lose ?
and try and enjoy your quiet times aloe to get to now who you are ,,,,not many people know themselvs they are too busy knowing everyone else they forget to learn who they are ,,
use this time to learn what you want ,what you like ,pamper yourself ,esperiment with clothes and make up ,,,use this time to find you who you really are ,,,,then show the world who you are ,,,and smile ,,,get rid of that grey face ,,,its not who you are ,,,so why wear it ?
after you nice time on your own getting to know you ,,,when you are ready hit the town ,and i mean hit it hard ,get a freind go out and have a lot of fun ,go mad let your hair down ,,,,show everyone just how happy and crazy and wild and mad and loving and fun to be with that you are and you will feel great ,,,
get your **** in gear and go and live ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,who needs a man when we are having sooo much freedom of choice,,,and fun ???
2007-01-13 09:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by whitecloud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I'm going to be lovingly tough. You need to get ahold of yourself. Your life isnt over. You are valuable, beautiful, unique, and special. Your tender love is a beautiful gift to any man. If the one you married couldn't respect it move on. Your life has such infinite value. No person can put a price on it. Don't throw it all away at the loss of one man. Men come and go. Find a romantic dream you can plan for...a two week vacation in Europe or Hawaii, just you enjoying the sights, laying in the sun, taking in the countryside. Learn to love you again. It's possible your big heart makes you think you need a man only to love. God gave you love for many reasons. Find a child to nurture in a difficult circumstance, help an elderly, read books to kids at a library. Find out your real value apart from a man and enjoy the new you a while, then when you are ready and healed and a well rounded whole woman without a man, you will benefit and be a blessing. Your life is bigger and more important than you can see. Take a look, If I can see it, you will find it too!
Jenn
2007-01-13 09:31:19 · answer #2 · answered by jenn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you describe how you are feeling is fairly common after a divorce. Many people have gone through what you are facing now and most people come out on the otherside better than they were before. It is a time to greive what you have lost and contemplate the things that truly make you happy and recognize those things that you are dissatisfied with.
Many people go through a period of depression during these times. You may wish to have an honest discussion with your doctor who may prescribe antidepressant medication for you and additionally the support of a psychologist is also most helpful. Talk therapy and medication work best when combined. Also, if you feel up to it go out with friends, go to the movies, exercise, and most importantly laugh. You will see that in time these feeling will all be behind you.
2007-01-13 09:32:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get over the things that happened to you then yes you need help. And by "get over" I mean accepting the fact that crap in life does not always turn out the way you plan it. Diving into the bottle, the fridge or whatever does not help you deal with it. It will just prolong it and usually make it worse. As you party or gain weight you get further and further from the truth. As the stress builds you will eventually break down! Quit the drink until your through it. It is easier not to binge the food when your not hanging hard. Good Luck
2007-01-13 09:31:19 · answer #4 · answered by dfgrace22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about it with a counsellor.
Try something like Tai Chi or Yoga.
If you have place for it, think about a pet.
Take a little walk everyday even if you live in a city.
I know very well, what you miss...
You need routines and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Now, I really wish you the best.
With a little help, you will be back, I promise you.
If you have a positive nature, you will.
If you never had hardship, it is quite normal to fall out balance with all what happened to you...
I hope, some of those things will work...
But start small...
2007-01-13 09:31:15 · answer #5 · answered by klaartedubois 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to reinvent yourself. When we live with someone then we become part of them, no matter how short a time. Thats a big part of you that walked out the door and its 'razed the garden' as it were.
Even people that hate each other miss the company and all the little 'comforts' that the other brought, knowingly or otherwise.
You are not 'less' becasue there is no one there. You are a different person that you have to get accustomed to. Learn to like yourself gradullay. Explore a little more each day. Its a long climb but worth it....Good luck to you.
2007-01-13 09:27:24 · answer #6 · answered by philip_jones2003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please go get therapy for yourself. it would be a good emotional investment and the most important gift you can give urself is self love.
U will find urself again--I PROMISE!!
sometimes u just have to make urself do things that r important and healthy 4u.
get into an exercise program too to help you feel better all the way around
I highly recommend yoga for relaxation and also getting a massage a few times a month, or ATLEAST once a month
if there's massage schools around u, the price is 50% cheaper or less usually.
read self help books and cd's as well
2007-01-13 09:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like u need to figure out what u realy want seems like you thought it would be easier without him as you might have been blaming him for problems and now his gone but your problems are still there so you know you should have taken a differant action/or you just miss having someone there for you but if this were so you could get this from anyone its only when your with someone else and cant stop thinking about the person your not with that you know you made the wrong choose.
2007-01-13 09:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a nurse and a Christian. You are not alone, hang in there. You need a good support group to attend in your area. Also start a journal and write down your feelings on paper. Try to think of something you like about yourself everyday. Prayer will also help you in your time of need. I so sorry for all the pain you are experiencing but it will soon past,trouble don't last always. I have a movie for you to watch, may you find comfort and strength in it. www.mayyoubeblessedmovie.com
2007-01-13 09:27:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going through the motions in life and nothing seems to register. These are signs of Deppression.
Yes, it is time for you to take care of yourself.
Seek out counseling, your Minister/Pastor, or a Doctor of Phychiatry, I do believe you need the help to cope with your stress. These people will help you regain who you are, not what others want you to be.
2007-01-13 09:33:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋