Is my boyfriend roght for me?

Question

We have known each other for a little over a year now. we have been together for 7 months, i have 2 kids from a previous relationship and he absolutly adores them he even has my 2 year old callind him daddy. we really don't fight at all and we have a great time together. we ahve been living together for about 2 months know and i thought we would get in arguments all the time but we don't. so could he really be the one for me?

Answer 1

You've already made up your mind on this one. It doesn't matter what anyone says.

Answer 2

Since you have already answered your own question by not putting anything objectionable in your description, I would just like to point out that the fact that you posted this at all means you have some sort of repressed hangup about this guy. Why else would you purposely put only positive things in the question so that people will be like "OMG OF COURSE, U GO GIRL, MARY HIM." Unless you are wasting our time by asking just to brag about him, you obviously are trying to manufacture positive reinforcement by asking anonymous people on the internet about something that only a close personal friend or family member that knew both of you could give you advice on. Perhaps people close to you have already pointed out some shortfalls of this guy that you don't want to face so you are trying to get meaningless reassurance from strangers? Or maybe you are not sexually attracted to him, but can't reconcile that with the fact that he's a really good guy with your kids. Either way, the person you need to bring this up with is HIM. The first person you should ask "is he the one" is YOU. If he was the one, you would know. It's not a fleeting, ethereal feeling that you need interpreted for you. That's what LOVE is. Whether or not you two are COMPATIBLE to BE TOGETHER FOREVER is an entirely different matter altogether and should be a calculated, conscious internal dialogue. I have been in love with girls before who I knew I could never have a relationship with. I also know that my current girlfriend and I will probably get married someday because I think about it all the time logically weighing whether or not it would work and if I am ready and also because I TALK TO HER about it all the time. Of course I love her. That's not something I can decide to do or not, but whether we will actually be compatible is something that needs to be discussed at length ALL the time. Like I said, love just happens or it doesn't and it is also necessary for a relationship to work. But too many people think it is the ONLY thing that a relationship needs. Either you love him or you don't. If you don't really love him, then you shouldn't be with him. If you do, then you wouldn't ask loaded questions like this unless you had some reservation that you ar not mentioning and may not even want to admit to yourself. This leads me to believe that you are either one of those "drama queens" hoping to scapegoat strangers with making a decision to do something that you know will eventually fail, OR you are a very wishy washy, insecure person and will end up in a poisoned relationship if you proceed without bringing up whats bothering you. You probably think, well he's such a great guy, if I bring up what's bothering me, it would be disastrous. Well if you can't talk to him about it, then you shouldn't be with him. Stop deluding yourself that "we haven't fought for 2 months" is meaningful at all. I lived with my current gf for 3 years now since junior year of college and we didn't have our first meaningful fight until after 2 years. It was like we could do no wrong for the first two years. But that is very dangerous because nobody is perfect, and everyone will fight eventually. If you haven't experienced a prolonged, emotionally taxing fight with this person and survived to be stronger, then how do you know that when this eventually DOES happen, the relationship won't just fail? You CAN'T know until it does. How you handle disagreements and fights as a couple says INFINITELY more about your compatibility than the fact that you don't fight ever. In fact not fighting about anything ever leads me to believe that you might be walking on eggshells around this guy, hence looking for vacuous reinforcement from random Yahoo strangers. There was actually a very good NYT article about this which I post below. If you can't openly discuss the following with both yourself and your boyfriend, then you are not ready to be in a long-term relationship yet.

Article:
Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

Answer 3

Only you can answer that question. From your description, he sounds like a really great guy.

Answer 4

Let's see... he adores your kids, your kids like him, you don't fight and you enjoy being together.

Sounds like he's a keeper!

Answer 5

yes i do belive so, but I second what the first person said.

Answer 6

well i think u should swing lol