Ok...so when I first found out I was prego..me and my bf had been broken up for a few weeks already...we decided to work things out and got things together almost 4 months later..I moved in with him..things were going good...we started fighting about really really stupid stuff and from there it would just escalade into something HUGE...we got into a big fight on the 2nd about something dumb...He asked me to leave..so I moved back out...I am due March 19 and really want me and him to work things out...But he seems to angry with me..all the time. If I call he either ignores my calls or...talks for a min and gets mad and hangs up...and Everything is my fault. How do I make him realize how much I mean to him? Do I just not call and see if he comes around? Or do I keep calling him? My mom seems to think if I just leave him alone and give him a few days of me not being around AT ALL..no phone calls nothing..that he will realize some things...but I dont know. What do you guys think?
2007-01-13 08:00:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
please DO NOT BE RUDE...and give me some good, usable advice..PLEASE. Thanks in advance
2007-01-13 08:00:52 · update #1
let me type this again..just in case someone needs a refresher DONT BE RUDE.....and moving on is an option..but I want us to work things out because I love him..and I know he loves me..and I want us to be a family..for mine, his and my babies sake...so get off THE POWER TRIP..and help me out nicely...THANKS
2007-01-13 08:09:31 · update #2
Well being a guy this is my best advice for you. He knows your having a child and he probably wants to be a part of your child's life. It shows that you are really stuck on him and he is using this to his advantage for the control in the situation. What you should do? Not call him at all. Don't call. When you see him out and about don't even look at him. Don't show him that you think he exists anymore. For some reason it drives guys wild having what they can't have. Not sure why but I'm the same way (look at me giving the guys most inner secret away). Just avoid calling him and any contact. Your phone will ring. Trust me 99%. And the other 1% is that he would have been a deadbeat dad anyways and you'll get your child support anyways. Move on and live a happy life with someone who respects you.
Tell your mom that Kwwklf said she was a really smart person. Trust your mom. She knows what shes talking about!
2007-01-13 08:07:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make a relationship work, no matter how much you want to. You either work well together or you don't. I know it must be soooo hard for you, being pregnant. I agree with your mom, leave him alone. Give him time to think things out. Maybe he's scared about becoming a father. Some men don't grow up until they actually see their baby, some never do. I really hope things work out for you and your baby. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-13 16:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, HE is he only one who can make himself realize what you mean to him. But I'm not sure why you want him to.
What kind of a man asks a pregnant woman to move out? I know it has to be VERY rough for you in your position; any woman who's expecting wants to be together with her child's father. But sometimes this isn't the best thing for your child. Your baby is what you need to be focusing on right now. And you sure don't want your baby to be born into a household that's a constant battleground.
I have been where you are right now, Hon. I stayed with my child's father until she was a year old, and I look back and regret that I allowed him to stay that long. I just don't think your BF is (as Judge Joe would say) doing the right thing and taking care of his business, and I think that's a good clue to the kind of man he is. He asked you to move out, and now he's keeping you in a state of constant turmoil. He's acting like a baby himself.
Mom knows best, Hon. Leave him alone. (though I prefer you made it permanent.) Your baby needs you to be the best mother you can be. Guys come and go, but your child is yours forever.
2007-01-13 16:16:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt look good, but a way for it to work is finding the root of the problem. why do you fight. and what situation are you in when you fight, drinking (not you of course) talking about the past, money . figuring out the root of your fights will help, then work past it. but he has to be willing to do so as well. I would say to lay low for a few days and maybe he will call, but he seems very put off by you so i dont know what would be the best idea. Good luck and gongrats on the baby!
2007-01-13 16:11:53 · answer #4 · answered by I_caught_fire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he resents the fact that you got pregnant. He probably blames you for not taking your pills or whatnot. Does he seem happy about being a father? You can't make him realize what you mean to him, truth is you might not mean what you think you do to him. Sorry. If he really cared you wouldn't be dealing with all this stress while carrying his child!! Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Supposedly. Listen to mom and stay away for awhile. Good luck.
2007-01-13 16:08:17 · answer #5 · answered by Shawn D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude - i think you are in a really emotional state right now and not seeing the obvious problem at hand. maybe it is a GOOD thing that you are seeing the negative attitude from your boyfriend now and not after the baby is born. He could be acting this way out of fear - fear of becoming a parent - fear of the commitment...who knows? boys/men can be soooooooo afraid of what is ahead of them that they act completely idiotic at times. OR he could be acting like an idiot because he simply is one. this is where you come in....decide if this behavior is something you want to battle with every now and then - it is known that we cant change the spots of a leopard, no matter how hard we girls try. i would hate to see you have to battle his behavior all while trying to raise a child.....the child will be trying enough on you that you wont need anymore issues with a boyfriend. In my opinion, i would question him directly - i dont understand how he could be putting you in this position AT ALL while you are carrying a child. Fear or no fear - he SHOULD be making sure you are safe and comfortable, NOT KICKING YOU OUT. do not lower your expectations - not for anyone....especially a boyfriend who acts the way you have described him to act. YOU ARE THE IMPORTANT ONE - MAKE HIM COME TO YOU....YOU DESERVE THE BEST. and when you expect that out of your partner - you will get it.
2007-01-13 16:14:09 · answer #6 · answered by litlbigdg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mom's advice was very good. Certainly sounds like giving him some time to think about how his life is about to change after he becomes a father would be very wise. As well if he is currently anger with you it will allow him some time to cool down. When you next speak with him it may be a good idea to ask him if he would be interested in taking a parenting course with you. If necessary you two may even want to consider taking some counseling with relationship issues.
2007-01-13 16:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom is right give him a little time to cool off from whatever you two were auguring about. you have to realize that he is going to be a father to and maybe he is still trying to figure that out. maybe that is why you two are auguring over stupid things. give him a couple of days then try to talk to him and see if thing we work out. while you are waiting think about what your part was in the fights and see how why things are the way they are. start think about the child you two are bring in the world.
2007-01-13 16:17:36 · answer #8 · answered by OB the Wolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't leave him alone, from what it seems like is happening, he would probably just be all "finally she's leaving me alone, now i can do what i want" or even "well since she's not calling she obviously can't want to work it out that much" and get mad at you again. but don't call him CONSTANTLY and don't pressure him for anything...he's probably just being self-centered and immature and thinks that whatever he's going through could even compare to what you're going through, just because you can handle it better than he can. he's immature but if you really want it to work out, try talking to him in person instead of just on the phone where he can be even more self-centered because he can't see your face. don't tell him anything is his fault, don't argue with him, just say that you're going to need help and he needs to be mature...but not in those words, because he'll probably get mad at you for calling him immature even if he knows he is.
good luck.
2007-01-13 16:06:19 · answer #9 · answered by fireflower413 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HEY!!
I think everything will work out when the baby is born.. maybe he just wants a break bcoz of everything that is going to happen in the future months
im sure everything will be fine..
just give it time..
I think that you shud leave him 4 a wile bcoz by you phonin im n stuff its just gettin im more annoyed so itl be longer b4 he finalli sorts it out in his head..
Hope that helps..
Good luck with the baby..
Take care xx
2007-01-13 16:07:25 · answer #10 · answered by Xx--GrownNSxc--xX 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋