Plz help i can't stop crying i just wanna die rite now???

Question

i was sooo much happoier still a little miserable (but tht i think was from just having no friends which i was always miserable for) but now i feel so much much happier!!! when my mom moved out away from my dad. even then though he still was and is trying to control us but didn't really get the chance to since he wasn't living w/ us. and yes my mom would let him she's so weak. but still i was happoer being away from tht asshole(even though we saw hi, evberyday at my grandma's) but she's feeling so lonely and depressed liek her usual self she says we're going back! (i can't help crying as i write this). i was so happy and now it's all just crushed down. even if he wud change it's not the same (even if he wasn't mean he'd still control like now and i still feel more free in this house no home) if u want info on my dad look at all my old quests. and i'm not an adult so i can't move out. i wish my mom foudn sum1else wut do i do? oh and how do i make tht 2nd additonal detil box *** up to wr

in our old house everytime i used to hear the garage i would feel sad and scared becuz he was cumin, everytime he comes in i feel like that and i even fee; abnormal for the way i feel (especialy how i feel when i cry like now) i feel like i'me happy but not it's being crushed and like i said even if he did change i still wudn't wanna go bak. especially since my mom wud nevet leave then. i know tht sounds stupid but u don't understand. and i'm all alone! cuz he's mr. nice guy ro my ext. fam so they'll be happy and they know he is or was! u know be4 my mom married him she never dated him or knew him personally! she just saw him at places w/ fam. and liked him 4 his looks! (she doesn't know i know tht my grandma told me) (and he cheated on her b4!) i wana kill myself and i wud if i wasn't afraid of death or burning in hell) yea he had a bad childhood incase ur wonderin. wut shud i do?

if my mom were to do this i could never forgive her why do ppl have to be married? why do women feel so alone w/o someone? she says she's afraid of being alone and sick especially when she's old and i will take care of her i said i would but no she has to go back to him how could my mom do this to me? just thinking about our old house (bot even him) makes me feel 'ughh' even when i lived htere and he wasn't there it seemed bad. especially on the weekends it just felt like such a sick feeling i felt like that when i woke up. but i don't feel like tht here. i know this all probably soudns abnormal but my dad was an *** to me my whole life. even my aunt who visited us says i'm much more confident this time(which isn't true) and happier(thts true 4sure). if she goes back it's like idk there'll be no life 4 me. sad at home and no friends to make me feel better or understand. at least i'm a lot happuer at homw now. i don't get picked on this yr but still ui'm a loser w/ only one friend and

i don't even know if she likes me sometimes. well skools totoally out of the situation. sry this is really long. i wish my mom was never stupid enough to marry my dad in the 1st place. why would you marry sum2 u know nothing about! and y wud let it happen if u know how my dad is (my uncle on my dad's side proposed it). i cud go to my grandma's house and she said i cud live with her. she sympathisez w/ me eeven though she relly likes my dad blindly like every1 else knwoing how he's treated me especially when i was a little kid. u know wut when i heard sotries like when all ym older cuz's (even the one on my mom's side!) were little they would be afraid of him and would become quiet and scared and **** when anything concerning him wud happen. my cuz used to (idk if she still does) hates him and she's not tht little she's a teen! she's the onyl one who saw him 4 wut he really was. see wut i mean even if he did change i'd be miserable.

my mom sayts if he becumes mean again she'll leave him. i can believe tht cuz she did this time but she said 4ever and i don't belive tht. cuzz at the beginnign when we moved out she said she had NO intentions of going back and she felt lonely then too i bet u. (i know her). sumtimes i wish i cud go bak in time and make sure my mom wudn't do this. even if she didn't get married and me & my bro wudn't exist. (God i feel so abnormall for the way i feel inside mayb cuz i've been told tht so much 4om my mom for ahting my dad and other famiyl ppl) if she were to go back i swear i'd never e happy agian as long as i'm there and i'd probably never ever talk again either to any1 or hardly to show my mom wut she's done to me (well i'd be sad naturllay anyways no need to fake it) and i'd never fprgive her for it. i'd rather forgive my dad. i won't hate her but i'll be mad at her 4ever. i just wish i could die right now and go to heaven..i don't ever wanna live w/ him again wut should i do?

Answer 1

Stick in their it only gets better, sides one day all of this could be yours and you could drive any car and who knows rule the world.
Stay in it it's good!

Answer 2

Well, for starters, everyone gets really upset sometimes. EVERYONE cries. It's not just girls. When parents divorce each other, it's very hard for the kid. It sounds like you and your Mom just got out of a really bad relationship. Try and focus on the good things in you life. Maybe study a little for a change. As for your Mom, you can't change the way she feels, but tell her how much better your life is without your old Dad. Point out some cute guys for her at the mall. ( Though don't get TO involved ) In time, she might find someone else. When you want to add additional details, go to edit my question, (the pencil) and click add details.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

When your feeling like this remember things COULD be worse. Remember people who have it worse than you and it wil comfort you some. You are not being beaten by him right? Or caged or chained up left without food or water? These kinds of things do occur. A boy here in Texas died on christmas day. They found him secured to his bed and he died from malnutrition. No one in his family cared about him or lifted a hand to help him. Also remember someday you will grow up and you can do your best to make sure your kids dont have to go through the same crap you have to.

Answer 4

Yeah, sometimes Life just sucks. Remember, "Hope Springs Eternal." The fact that you're here asking this question shows that you still have hope and that you are trying to do something about your situation. I'm confident you'll make it through this incredibly tough time, and you'll see better days when you will flourish. Stay positive and Good Luck.

Answer 5

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Your dad sounds like a complete prick. Everyone has a hard time once in a while. I just lost another job and going through a very hard time as well. So, hang in there, believe in yourself, and hope and pray that it will get better soon.

Answer 6

I think you should have a talk with your mom. Have you seriously sat down and talked to her about it? Just tell her that you can't stand it around your dad and that it'll make your life miserable. (unless your mom doesn't care about you, but i'm sure every mother cares about their child). She probably just loves your dad. Maybe you also need to talk to your dad about it. I'm sure your dad loves you, too! Or you can always wait until you get older to move out! Well, I hope everything goes well for yoU! I don't know what else to tell yoU! =/

Answer 7

Tell your mom how you feel if she is going to take him back maybe she will talk to him about being so controlling.Maybe he isn't you just think he is.But if i were you would would talk to my mom about it and if that doesn't help get the advice of a trusted adult at school.Good Luck!

Answer 8

You may want to read this article http://www.healthadel.com/articles/9/1/Depression-Treatments/Page1.html i found will be useful also has info on different treatments.

Answer 9

You hate your mom, you hate your brother, you hate your father, you hate your school.

Buck up and grow up.

Answer 10

You hate yourself!