I have been talking to this guy online since November of last year. We are now having phone conversations everyday. The thing is, I like to investigate who Im talking to. I called his job, they never heard of him, I researched his address he gave me online, and its not under his name plus I sent him a card to waited to see that he would tell me he got it and he never did, I cant find him ANYWHERE on people searches online. When I talk to him he is sweet as pie, but the sources dont add up. Everyone knows Im talking to him, even my mother. He is supposed to come see me in 2 weeks. He thinks Im nervous because of him coming, when in fact, its because Im having second doubts about him. Does anybody know where I can do a good backround search or can someone tell me what I should do? Its getting bad, because Im starting to fall for him. Also, how do I get in contact with Computer Related Investigator if he is a pedaphile or something?Please help!!!!!!!!
2007-01-13 07:36:55 · 47 answers · asked by specialme9 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Good job doing your homework.
It gets harder as time passes to dislodge yourself from him - i suggest that you do it now. It's not a question of "oh i'm in love", it's a question of "am i talking to a criminal and a sexual predator or not"
2007-01-13 07:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by John C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically get him first, middle and last name. There are many background search and what not sites on the web just type in background search. It cost some money though. I wouldn't tell him your doing all these searches and stuff though, it kind of looks bad on your part, even though it is a very good idea. Don't completely dismiss the guy though. Why'll there are sickos, most are not. I don't know about the house address thing, but he may of lied about a job to make himself look better, he may actually have no job.
Most importantly when you meet him, make sure it is a public place and make sure you meet him there and never leave with him. These are just precautions, everyone has these meeting someone online, don't let your suspicions prevent you from finding your possible true love. I one more thing he will probably be nervous meeting you in person for the first time, so don't overthink that is a sign he is a suspicious guy. If everyones soulmate lived right near us or close, than it would be a perfect world, and thats not the case.
2007-01-13 07:50:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well from the sound of it, he already knows where you live. That's not good.
If he is something like a pedophile or stalker, he won't show and will probably make up an excuse why. Now that he has your address, he knows where you go to school. He has all the tools necessary to follow all of your movements and find the best time of each day and week that you're likely to be alone.
I'm not trying to scare you, but this is how it works for those who do it. They get every detail they can about you pretending to be someone they're not.
It's tough especially since his personality over the phone seems like he can be trusted. Maybe he's not a bad person either, but why lie? Is he worried about telling you what he really does? The background searches are probably not going to do you any good unless you have a phone number. Chances are the name isn't going to get you anything either (it might not be his).
Take care of yourself, and in the future, arrange meetings in a public place with a lot of people. Make sure at least 2 people know about it. Even then you have to be cautious.
2007-01-13 07:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by SirCharles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, my gosh. Is this 2007? You did all of the research, and now are allowing him to come to your home? Background research is costly; you have already done enough to show he isn't quality material for a friendship let alone a romance.
Why are you starting to fall for him? Because he lied about his job; because he isn't at the address he gave you. He isn't anywhere online? Because your mother approves? That isn't all about love, that is all about "I'm desperate" and I don't think you are; confused, maybe and not sure how to get out of this.
The word is "NO", followed by I can't see you. Don't let him talk you into seeing him because 'you are nervous about seeing him.' How dare he tell you what you are feeling, or have you also not been honest?
You need more facts, and because your mom is involved, a bit more years on you before you start this type of friendship. (Notice, I said friendship, not relationship.) Are there not guys closer to home? Can you re-focus, go to college, get a good education, and find a wonderful father for your children, and a great husband for yourself. Someone who doesn't present himself as something he isn't.
And how will you date him...by internet, plane trips, etc. Close up is the only way to know someone. I married a man who lived in Europe and I in California; we dated for 4 years. But after the marriage, I realized that I married a holiday friend. Luckily, it turned out OK, because we have worked on it. Long distance doesn't allow for any working out problems, because it is one big happy date when you get together.
Good luck, on saying No to this visit. If you insist on seeing him, plan things with your family and someone around, and no sex. HIV and Aids is an international problem; don't hurt yourself and your future. (My girlfriend died of aids because her date got her drunk, had sex with her, and THEN told her he was HIV positive) A good man will wait, not pressure you.
Happy forever. It is your life; enjoy it, but don't ruin it because someone else wants into your space, invited or uninvited.
2007-01-13 07:49:31 · answer #4 · answered by dutchlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pedophiles go after kids, are you a kid? If that's the case then you should call your friend and tell him not to show. Why would you be meeting with people that you've known for TWO MONTHS? If you're really determined to investigate him, call 411 to get his real name (you do have his phone number, right?) and address. If that doesn't add up talk to your parents about your fears. It's very likely that he already knows where you live, and with all the lies you already busted him saying, you might even be in danger without even knowing it. Be more careful from now on.
2007-01-13 07:45:47 · answer #5 · answered by guicho79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you send him the card . Tell him you called his work but they never heard of him. You can find his address some how by using his phone number. Not sure exactly how. Cancel the meeting. CANCEL THE MEETING.
If he is a pedaphile you must be young. This will be a lesson to never give out information to people you have no idea who they are or noone else you know doesnt know them.
CANCEL THE MEETING until you are sure you have the information you need.
2007-01-13 07:43:56 · answer #6 · answered by nikogal2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all he has told you turns out to be a lie or it doesnt add up then i would tell you to stay away. Do you have a picture of him?
I take it you have givin him you address if he is coming to visit you so when he comes (if he comes) Look out of the window first, see if it is the guy in the picture and then if not call 911 orwhatever and if it is answer the door but make sure there is someone with you and then you can question him about why things dont add up.
Personally i would stay away but that little paragraph was if you are certain you want to see him and meet him.
Hope i helped :)
2007-01-13 07:43:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking us, as you already know the answer to this question? If you did not know the answer then you would never have done those really, really smart investigations that you did. You know what you need to do and that is lose this lire now and work on finding someone else right a way to get over this bum. Do Not see this guy, period. We do not want to read about you in the news papers. Last, what is it you are falling for concerning this guy, I do not understand?
2007-01-13 07:46:57 · answer #8 · answered by Shellback 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his job has never heard of him, the address he gave you isn't in his name and he never got your card then he's likely given you a fake name.
Call the job and ask to speak to the name that's associated with the address he gave you. Then see if it's him. There are guys who will give their roommate's information instead of their own... but I'd sure keep checking this out or ask him to scan his drivers license and send it to you before agreeing to have him come for a visit. It's a safety thing... better safe than sorry. If he's insulted that you're trying to keep yourself safe or that you "don't trust" him, tell him that because this is the internet, you just want to feel secure.
If he continues to have a problem with it then he's totally got something to hide.
2007-01-13 07:43:57 · answer #9 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont panic...Just makesure (FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY) that you do the following things
1) DONT EVER give out your personal details like credit card numbers and other private details
2) He sounds very dodgy by the way you have described his identity etc...i mean the only logical explanation is that he is lying to you, either to impress you and gather your details or for some other reason...so if you are to meet him MEET HIM IN A PUBLIC PLACE, AND IF POSSIBLE MAKE SURE YOUR FRIENDS ARE SITTING AT A TABLE NEARBY
i hope evrything works out alright...just remember, that even the sweetest most beautiful sounding human being can be the most vicious and fatal...im not trying to scare you, im just making you aware of the possible consequences of meeting this guy alone....
BE SAFE. TAKE CARE
2007-01-13 07:43:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've communicated with him for a very short two months out of an expected life span of 80 years of your life so far and now...
He knows where you live.
His job has never heard of him when you called to check up on him.
He knows where you live.
You researched his address and it's a false one as it's not under his name.
He knows where you live.
You can't find him anywhere on people searches online.
He knows where you live.
Your mother knows you are talking to him... yet hasn't changed your home number.
He knows where you live.
He is coming to see you in two weeks and you are nervous.
He knows where you live.
You are having doubts about him.
He knows where you live.
Here is the scary part, you are starting to fall for him.
He knows where you live.
You think he may be a pedophile.
He knows where you live...
Need I say more about how I won't feel sorry for you when you end up missing?
You are a predators dream.
He can now show up and spy on you to know exactly what you look like, what your schedule is by following to and from school or work... and then you will end up missing and found burried somewhere in pieces. He doesn't have to meet you in person to know what you look llike.
He knows where you live.
You better record his calls, get them traced or something... you deserve what is coming to you for letting your feelings of falling for him get in the way, because the false idea of feeling safe when you talk to him is very naive of you.
Study serial killers. They are very passive and calm when they manipulate their victims. They don't see it coming because they have charisma and are very sweet people.
2007-01-13 07:42:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋