2007-01-13 07:30:36 · 11 answers · asked by Jamie B 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A man and a woman meet at bar one day and are getting along really well. They decide to go back to the woman's house where they engage in passionate love making.
The woman suddenly cocks her ear and says, "quick my husband just got home, go hide in the bathroom!" So the man runs into the bathroom.
Her husband comes up into the bedroom and looks at her. "Why are you naked?" he asks.
Well, I heard you pull up outside, so I thought I would come up here and get ready to recieve you."
"Okay." the man replies "I'll go get ready."
He goes into the bathroom before his wife can stop him and sees a naked man standing there clapping his hands.
"Who the **** are you?" the man asks
"I am from the exterminator company, your wife called me in to get rid of the moths you are having problems with."
The husband exclaims, "But you are naked!"
The man then looks down and jumps back in surprise.
"Those little bastards!"
2007-01-13 07:41:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo
toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is
hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports f or her first day
promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's
door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new
employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is
backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2
men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so
backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and
they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands
Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of
plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in
amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two
marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's
legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of
hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena . "I'm sorry," he
says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you
misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
2007-01-13 15:53:30 · answer #2 · answered by Jacobi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This joke is called Paid in Full
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000. from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark...$1
Knowing where to put it...$49,999.
It was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace.
2007-01-13 15:48:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes
2007-01-13 15:34:20 · answer #4 · answered by Lionwarlord 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password.
Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in.
"P....E....N....I....S.."
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
**** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****
2007-01-13 15:34:56 · answer #5 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is good.
A man named Jose went to America to see the Yankees vs. the Red Socks. When he got the ticket, it said nosebleed section. He did not care what section he was in. Anyway, it was game day. Everyone stood for the National Anthem. When Jose got home, he said, "Mama, they made a song in America just for me." "How does it go, mijo?" "It goes Jose can you see!
2007-01-13 15:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok me and a friend were at the movies and there was a scene with a gas station. then thereis a explosion and the whole station was turned into a scrap heap! he said "WOW" and i was just gonna say that it was a big explosion but he said "did u see the gas price at that station? it was $1.52 per gallon!!!"
2007-01-13 15:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by !!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok... here it goes.
A pirate walks into a bar with a stirring wheel down his pants and the bar tender asks, "What's with the stirring wheel down your pants?" And the pirate says, "Arrg, It's driving me nuts!"
Hee hee.... I posted that joke here yeaterday!
2007-01-13 15:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by Trista♥ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
nope.
i know pickup lines tho.
Are you Tenessee? because you are the only 10 i see!
okay maybe that's when you're drunk. but oh well.
2007-01-13 15:46:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes they do
2007-01-13 15:52:46 · answer #10 · answered by outlaw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋