Fear of death. How do I cope?

Question

For the past few years, since I was 13 or so, I've had an extreme fear of dying. I don't want to die but I know that it is inevitable. I just can't accept that fact.

Also, I'm not religious. No offense to anyone who is, but I have a hard time believing that there is some sort of afterlife for us when we die. So I personally feel that once you die, that is it, the end, kaput. That really scares me - I love life and I wouldn't want to just suddenly stop existing and living one day.

This fear really gets to me. I think about it every day, usually before I fall asleep... so of course I usually get less sleep because of that. But recently it occurs to me during the day time, when I'm in class, or even having a good time with my friends.

What can I do???

Answer 1

(1) If you feel you have a real phobia, I would talk to a counselor. Either a psychiatrist or psychologist if you think it is a serious issue. I even heard of a Christian psychologist who used a combination of a hypnotherapy and past-life regression to help people confront and relief the spiritual sources of their phobias.

(2) If you feel it is something you could work through, by coming to terms with your beliefs, I would recommend consulting with different groups that deal with death and dying -- ranging from palliative care/hospice counselors, any local Buddhist monk or meditation group, or even Carl Jung centers or other spiritual studies groups, either online or in your region.

(3) In general "death" represents a spiritual change. So the more you come to terms with how things work spiritually you will not be so afraid of changes. The more you understand the cycles of cause and effect (which Buddhists call karma) you can see the patterns, you can predict circumstances and again you will not be so afraid because you can understand in advance. I think the fear you feel now is just your conscience pushing you to find out what you don't know so you aren't afraid. It is motivating you to look deeper for answers, that will give you a sense of peace.

I encourage you to confront your concerns head on and to take the time to sort through your thoughts feelings and beliefs. You will enjoy the time in your life more when you feel more confident. Regardless of what you believe or don't believe about things after death, in this life everyone and everything has a purpose and as long as you feel you are fulfilling that purpose then you should not fear disruption. Even events of disruption or change can be used to serve a higher purpose. Most of fear of death is either "fear of the unknown" "fear of change" or "loss of control" so as you confront any source of those fears and resolve them, the fear of death should also go away.

Answer 2

I read that you are not religious however, hear me out. I am a Christian and before I really had faith in Jesus I had an extreme fear of dying, but once I realized that I had no control over when I died and that when I died, I would go to Heaven, which is ten times better than life on earth could ever be, I lost that fear. I still sometimes don't want to die, but I then I remember that life can only get better. I don't want to preach at you, but I would encourage you to go to your local [Christian] bookstore or Bible believing church and pick up a Bible and read it, especially the New Testament. John 3:16, and especially the chapters of Matthew,Luke, Acts. Romans. I hope that you can over come this fear in the same way that I did.

God Bless

Answer 3

My thought on this is that people fear what they don't know. No one has died and then came back to tell what it was like. So that is why there are so many different thoughts on what it is like when you die. Christians believe in heaven or hell, atheist believe that nothing happens that is just it, you're dead. I think that you should talk to a counselor about this. Yes it is inevitable that all of us will die eventually, but it sounds like your life is disrupted by the thoughts you have. Good luck with getting over your fear!

Answer 4

Wow, Ive gotten that one a lot in my line of work. Death is a part of life. Do not live in fear of death because it will rob you of your life. If you are constantly worried your life will pass you by and you arent truly living. Be careful dont make poor choices that could endanger your life, but dont be over paranoid. Some people look for spiritual guidance. This is a common fear it will pass with time.

Answer 5

I'm sorry someone so young is worried about death. Death is very scary to think about but I think it should bother older people. I feel you should find someone to talk to or get some professional help. As a person does get older and have a chance to live a good life I think death is less of a threat . And remember a brave person only dies once a coward dies a thousand deaths. Please get some help.

Answer 6

1- you have to accept the reality that one day you will die
2-nobody knows when, so stop loosing time worrying about dying, and live.
3- the more you think about it, the more you worry.
4- nobody knows what is after death, for religious, heaven or hell
.5reincarnation, afterlife, UFO coming, as you say ,when you die that is kaput.
you are too young to worry like that for something that Will happen, but nobody knows the time. so live your life. but if this keeps obsessing you, get professional help, because its kind of sup id to worry like that. sounds like a panic attack

Answer 7

you are not alone for a start we all go through this at some time or other ,after a while you just think about it less ,but its a fear of not being allive ,not knowing whats going on and a fear of where do we go is there life after death ,ect,well about 9 years ago i nearly did die ,and it was due to a bad asthma attack,i was alone and couldnt move ,all i could do was puff on the little bit of air i could get ,them i thought thats it ,this is how i end my life this is what its like to begin to die ,well ill tell you now it was the most powerfull thing i had ever felt and the most calming and peacful time of my life ,and for some strange reason i accepted this was going to be my death and because it felt sooo good i wasnt a bit worried ,i thought back on my life and my family and loved ones and knew they would all be upset and i remember thinking ,if they knew just how peacfull and loverly feeling this was they would never be sad i felt so rested and as if nothing in the world will ever worry me again ,,,there was apsolutly no pain ,just compleat harmony ,at one point i must have passed out ,when i came to the asthma had gone and i could breath again ,and the first thing i thought was oh no ,now if got to go through all this life thing again ,reality hit home hard ,but then i thought my god i thought i had died and it felt loverly ,i have never feared death ever again ,i was given a second chance that day ,and it has taught me never to fear dieing ,living is more frightning ,if i could feel the peace and harmony in life that i felt they day i would enjoy every day of my life but you dont get that with life ,its hectic,and loud and painfull ,but also at the time i thought i was going to die ,i remember feeling as if this was just a new begining it didnt one feel like and end,it just felt like it was going to be a most wounderfull journey,to where i do not know ,but i was prepared and wanted to go ,i didnt want to leave my loved ones ,but somehow i knew id still be with them ,its hard to put into words ,but never ever fear death ,maybe one day you might get faced with it as i was and you will remember the things i have told you and you will then understand it ,but its beautifull and no im not a believer in god ,,but as i said it felt like a new begining ,not an end it was so strange ,but i have never feared death since and i know i never will ,but when my time come i will know that the feeling you get is so wounderfull ill actually look forward to feeling that again,,,and when that time comes i know with the mad life that ive lead it will be a well earned rest ,,,,may be this is why they say ,r.i.p because some how we know we do ,,,never a truer three letters have ever been written ,,,,it truely is PEACE, now you know all this get on with living your life ,never look back on anything bad and always remember the good ,and always remember what ever happens in you life ,,,,you too one day will now appsolute peace ,and believe me you will love it ,,we only fear what we dont know ,well i now do know ,,,so i hope this helps you to move on ,as there is nothing to worry about at all,

Answer 8

Find a Higher Power. Not religion, but Spirituality. I believe in a hearafter, so I do not fear death. Fear is nothing more than lack of faith! May the Force be with you. - Love - Earl

Answer 9

I'm scared of dyeing to, there isn't that much from my opinion that you can do about it but you did say that you really enjoy live so i think that is just what you've go to do . Enjoy live to the max. Good luck and i hope you get the answer your looking for, xxx

Answer 10

Set your mind to find a cure for death. It sounds irrational, but I bet that if you try to set your mind to something like that, along the way you're sure to find cures for many diseases, even though death may still be inevitable.