Experiences with moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Question

I am looking for a new place to live - at the same time, my boyfriend is looking for new flatmates as his current ones will be moving out and he doesn't want to move. He suggested that I move in with him but I'm not sure if that is a good idea. What if we split up and start seeing other people? I wouldn't be able to stand that and would have to move again and waste a lot of money - that is my greatest fear. Also, I have a desire to get married sometime soon but my bf doesn't ever want to get married, and I feel that I would be closing doors to meeting other people who may be potential life partners, if I move in with him. I have never lived with anyone apart from my family - it would be financially beneficial because everything is so expensive in London, but I am not sure if it is worth taking the risk. Any advice or experience?

Btw, I've always had my own place and have been living alone for the past 10 years.

Answer 1

chances are that if you move in, you will come to love each other because you'll be so used to the routine and just being comfortable with everything from walking around naked to the most basic sharing of food

Answer 2

I have been living with my boyfriend for the past 6 months! Before we bought our house together I cried, I felt all the things you mention. But it was a really good move, but hard work. But if this guy does not have the same long term out look as you then do not move in with him - as you said if you split up as it will happen if you both want different things. Maybe the fact he suggested moving in with you show he ready to commit in some way & that a start. I do not think he would have asked you if he did not love you & thought hard about what could happen. His views can change - marriage is not evryone plan - but it does notmean he does not want you. It could cost you money but you be missing out, the only way to find out is take the plunge! Good Luck!

Answer 3

Moving in with someone is a committment and you should be sure that is what you want. No one can ever tell if their other half will stray or fall out of love with you - that is life you have to take a chance. However, you can't start off on rocky foundations. You want all the guarantees and answers upfront which is understandable but can't be given. If in doubt, live apart even if it costs more - money is not the right reason to live with your boyfriend - only friends and associates where there are no emotional complications. Good luck.

Answer 4

Sounds like you have answered your own question. If you are not completely sure then don't do it. It is always messy and hard to sort things out if you split up and have to live together. The other downside is that sometimes you don't split up when you really should because it would be so unplesant and inconvienient. Why don't you try to find places to live near each other as a kind of compromise and then if it doesn't work out you still have your own space.

Answer 5

My advice would be go by your "gut instinct" If you feel that it won't work than it won't. I know this is not telling you much but think about this. Would he let you have all your girlie stuff in the bathroom? Would he make you do all the dishes or would he share in the responsibility? Would you like to someday have kids with this person cause that very much happens once you move in with him? And lastly does he do anything that gets on your nerves or is he almost perfect? I only say these things because they are things you need to ask yourself before moving in with a person. If all else fails ask mom she knows best. Don't ask dad first that would be a big mistake.

Answer 6

Don't do it, you've already answered all your questions. In truth, why are you dating him if you know he's not got the same goals in life? Are you just using him for fun while you find someone else who does match your goals and needs? That doesn't seem fair, just as moving in with him because it's financially easier is using him. He might be OK with it because he just wants a girl, but you aren't really being true to yourself. You want to get married soon, and he never does, so move on. You don't want a man who you've had to convince him to marry you, you want a man who's so nuts about you he can't wait to marry you.

Answer 7

I, too moved in with my boyfriend for financial reasons, rather than because it was the right time in our relationship. It didn't take long to fall apart. For 2 years, he packed/unpacked, threatened to leave, and held it over my head - knowing I would be financially stuck if he left. Finally, I threw him out. It took a couple of months of struggling, when my sister & decided to rent a place together. At least with family, you know them, and know what to expect. You really can't trust anyone else 100%.

Answer 8

why dont you just sit down and talk to your b/f sounds as if he is ready to be taking the next step giving you a bit of commitment but your not sure. do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this boy or not. but then again do it even if just for the experience of living and standing on your own two feet, your parents are not going to rent your room out at home are they

Answer 9

You go ahead and get your own place, moving in with him is going to cause you many problems. I think you instincts are right on target , forget about the money, it's not everything. If you want to reseve your relationship with your bf get your own place, been there done that!

Answer 10

If you already think youre not going to stay together b/c of what you want in the future isnt what you want then maybe you should go ahead and call it quits.... but on the other hand why not try it? It might be what both of you need..