Hi! I am 18 and have been dating a wonderful man for about six months now. This is definitely my best relationship so far, and I truly love him with all my heart. Thing is, we broke up a week ago due to his insecurities about where his life is going and what the future holds. However, this only lasted about two days, until I was able to sit him down and talk with him. Since I've been able to get him back, I've been even more obsessive over wanting to be with him 24/7 than I was before. I have no hobbies and, as mean as it sounds, my friends honestly don't really interest me that much anymore. When I'm not with my boyfriend, I'm usually sitting on the computer and/or wondering where he is, what he's doing, and when I'm going to be able to see him next. I know this is not healthy whatsoever and I REALLY need to relax when it comes to not being with him. The last thing I want to do is appear controlling and push him away again. Any adivce would be loved! Thank you.
2007-01-13 06:04:54 · 22 answers · asked by CrystalDreams 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its okay to be like this, my girlfriend is the same way, as i am to her.
2007-01-13 06:12:08 · answer #1 · answered by Shawn J 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Give yourself a break, you're 18 for goodness sake. It take us all a lifetime and some never to get control over our feelings. My advice for you would be to get some kind of life outside the"man", it may sound impossible at the moment with the way you are feeling but you really do need to see that big wide world out there and experience some of the great things out there before you trap yourself inside a relationship that was once everything to you but soon becomes your own personal prison. You need your friends, they come in handy when things don't go so well which they notoriously do. Take up a hobby as you say you don't have any, something that envolves you meeting other people, or volunteer for somekind of charity work, sounds corny I know but it can make you feel rather good about yourself.
You are 18, enjoy it.
2007-01-13 06:18:42 · answer #2 · answered by isleofskye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It appears as if both of you have insecurities. It's good that you realize the "unhealthiness" of the situation. I almost went down this path and had to pull myself out of it! You need to try your HARDEST to preoccupy yourself and get something else going on in your life before you lose your mind, even if it's just getting out the house. If you keep going this route then this relationship will be over soon and you will only be devastated. You are too young to be going through this over a guy. You two might need to take a break. Who knows? That might be what he was trying to do before but didn't have to heart to go through with it. How do you know that he doesn't feel trapped in this relationship right now? You're only going to push him away if you keep this up. If it's true love, it'll still be there waiting when the smoke clears. Take some time out to concentrate on you.
2007-01-13 06:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mirch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound just how i was when i was your age 5 years ago. I was wanting to be with my boyfriend all the time, it wasnt obsession it was love and security. As the same with you my boyfriend started to want to go out without me and we rowed each time but id always convince him we were meant to be together. Things got better and better as time moved on and we spend all the time together, my boyfriend grew out of wanting to be out all the time and liked my company more. We are happier now than ever before, we love being together.
You are only 18 let your boyfriend go out and do his thing, you should try and get out with your mates more than ofter. After all your friends are there for life. Let your boyfriend see you can have fun without him. This will probably help you make your mind up whether he really does interest you and whether he is the right one to be with.
2007-01-13 06:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by jenna p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
which one of you has insecurities, give the lad and yourself a break. no one wants to be the centre of someones life, as you said, you've no hobby . get one, go the gym, college, whatever. but it is not healthy to be so consumed in someone that nothing else matters. most men love an independent woman, and even if your feeling insecure inside hide it. get a life outside of him. jealousy and insecurities are the biggest break downs of relationships. and remember, friends are for life. men come and go, what you feel for this guy ,i am sure is genuine love, but love happens many times in life, if he is the one who you are to spend your life with then so be it. but two miles down the road, up pops another, your young, don,t put your life on hold for any man, and that ain't disrespecting men. just means your lives have to involve other people as well, how much more interesting your interaction with each other is, when you both can talk about the times apart without any hang-ups
2007-01-13 06:27:07 · answer #5 · answered by valda54 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should find something else that really interests you. Try a sport, martial art, something that you can get your teeth into and give your self something to do. Aside from anything else you will end up being boring to your boyfriend if you have nothing to talk about because the only stuff you do is with him.
2007-01-13 07:07:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes u need to stop stressing girl...being all obsessive like that will definitely push that man away. and i know u dont want that so if u dont have any hobbies u need to find some. read a book work out do something else besides making this man your everything cause if he can break up with u from being confused he could break up with u over something even smaller
2007-01-13 06:10:16 · answer #7 · answered by JAY 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
now your insecurities are showing, you thought you had every thing just the way you wanted and he broke the spell, you reeled him in and were able to get hi back, but what about the next time? are you going to be able to? all these flaws are appearing in this relationship and they all need to be attended to, so you have to sit your self down and put in writing where you can see it, what you want and how you are going to attain your goal. also keep in mind that when you count on some one or some thing to keep you happy you will always be insecure as people and things can and do get lost, so round out your life with more than one thing or person
2007-01-13 06:12:57 · answer #8 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be careful, If he finds that your becoming too obsessive, you could frighten him off. A lot of men don't like obsessive women
2007-01-16 12:55:07 · answer #9 · answered by Sierra One 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't stop your partner will feel trapped and you could lose him.You should be still in the whirlwind romance and be having great fun together.i have been with my partner for 7 yrs got together when i was 17 and iam still learning new things about him every day.And maybe your partner needs some help to deal with his own insecurities.
2007-01-13 06:12:13 · answer #10 · answered by sweetness 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i had a similar concern with my final relationship. so he's is definitly exhibiting signs and indications of obsession so which you no mater how stressful that's (&& i be responsive to that's stressful) you will desire to proportion with him the way you experience && clarify to him conceivable soulutions. if he keeps && does not prefer to grant you area i could destroy it up simply by fact clingy relationships not purely get stressful yet can exchange right into a intense issue over the years. so merely tell him the way you experience today up
2016-10-19 22:36:11 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋