i have a mum hu i havnt seen in 2 years now. Ive only just started talking 2 her but i dont know if i can visit her or not. Wat shood i do?
2007-01-13 05:56:44 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I had serious problems with my mum as in not paying child benefit nd forcing me nd my dad out of our house due to HER dept. I have only started talking to her over a period of 2 years nd i dont know if i shood visist her or not. I couldnt really call her a mother as she knows nothing about me.
Wat shood i do pleez help me?
2007-01-13 06:31:56 · update #1
shes an emotional blackmailer!!
2007-01-21 05:25:23 · update #2
Visit her, talk to her, learn about her. If you feel uncomfortable treat it as a newspaper interview. Have your questions written down. Its a little impersonal, but it will work. The bottom line is she is your mum and may be able to answer questions that you have had about your childhood. You don't have to Love or Hate here, just appreciate and respect her.
2007-01-13 06:06:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i have a dad who lives a long way from here...i had never met him till i was 36, i always wondered who he was and what he was like...and by sheer fluke there was an addy on the telly with a name for a lost relatives website so i logged on and within an hour i got results..cut a long story short, it was not what i expected, he was a great guy and we did meet, but he left his home and did not tell me, so he stopped contacting me, it's been 4 years since i saw him, i felt pretty uneasy about the situation when i met him because i knew nothing about him, his wife hated the idea of me being around, maybe that's why he moved house, i have not bothered to find him, it was his choice
anyways if you don't feel right about seeing your mum yet, then don't yet, keep in touch with her and talk with her, but don't visit her till you think your ready....when you feel it in your gut, then go see her.....i hope all works out well for you...good luck
2007-01-13 06:06:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well this is ultimately your decision babe but you have started talking to her already which has got the ball rolling.
I think you should just keep talking to her over the phone or through email, whatever is best for you, and then when you feel ready to talk to her face to face go see her.
Don't let anyone force you into doing anything you don't feel ready to do, you both have all the time in the world to get to know each other again so take your time.
Good luck xxx
2007-01-13 06:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by anastacia500 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep talking to her but don't push the visit until you feel totally comfortable with it.
If you and she have serious issues to settle it might be easier to work on them by phone, letter, or email before you come face-to-face with her.
When you feel ready to meet with her keep it brief and friendly the first time with no serious discussion. Go for a pizza. Eat, talk about school (assuming you are of school age) or something easy.
If this meeting goes well you might want to extend the visit next time.
2007-01-13 06:04:46 · answer #4 · answered by Puzzler 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go & see your mum no matter what she done she is still your mam.My mam died in october I did not have time to say good bye
as we had a fall out if I could turn back the clock I would.Good Luck
2007-01-20 03:22:31 · answer #5 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my dad.
The advice I keep getting is...
Do what is right for you!
My dad is a selfish git who only turns up when it suits him, he has been messing with my head for years. I keep thinking that If I was in his position that I would miss my children terribly and would want to meet them to sort things out. He doesn't make the effort. Does she?
2007-01-13 06:10:25 · answer #6 · answered by Little miss naughty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write to her and break the ice then meet her for a short time, see how you feel, this is some thing maybe worrying your mum too. Just take it slowly.
2007-01-13 06:24:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need 2 go with ur heart
can u forgive her?
do u just need closure?
do u want 2 build a relationship with her?
do u Really want her 2 be in ur life?
what will u gain from seeing her?
follow ur heart, good luck & be true 2 urself
2007-01-18 08:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by jls_87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya your mum screwed up BUT so did mine and i still forgave her. my mum did some horrible things to me but 3 years later she comes walking through the door asking for my forgivness. everyone screws up, me espiely, but when we do we are forgiven no matter what in the persons heart even if the person doesnt realise it. i know that may sound weird but its the way it works. it will be VERY hard to forgive your mum but shes still your mum and nothing in the world can change that.
2007-01-13 08:14:45 · answer #9 · answered by airforce_brat_16 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever the reason is for you two not speaking, i can guarantee that this is breaking your mums heart. She gave birth to you, and no matter what our children do, we love them unconditionally. So please go and make up with her. Make her day. Put all the differences behind you and just start again. Good Luck.
2007-01-13 06:21:31 · answer #10 · answered by S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋