2007-01-13 05:35:15 · 35 answers · asked by steve s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We are both the biological parents. We are looking to get married at Sandals Antigua. We know this is a very touchy subject & we can see everybodys point of view (which is why we asked the question in the first place). We feel guilty in a way but not in another. We could of gone for 2 weeks but decided on 1 due to leaving our daughter back home in UK. We are also having a big party when we return to try & make sure family & friends are involved in our big event. Thanks for all your opinions.
2007-01-13 06:02:37 · update #1
no so long as she is involved someway! i think it sounds just like tying the honeymoon and ceremony into one! i think its a lovely idea and as u said there will be a big party bac home! even as parents you still need time apart from your daughter to remember who you are! good luck and enjoy your big day!and believe me when shes older she'll understand!
xx
2007-01-13 06:55:32 · answer #1 · answered by pinkjessie 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Why do you have to leave her? couldn't you take her with you? I get the impression that the getting married away is going to be just the two of you, so would that count as your honeymoon too? To be honest, I can understand that idea and choosing to leave her home in that situation, but if everyone else was coming then that would be different. Ask your daughter, she may be 4 but that doesn't make her stupid, tell her your plans now and ask her how she feels, not what she wants, how she feels. If you ask her what she wants and she says she wants to come and then you go without her, well that's just cruel. Make a fuss of her and bring her back a present though and she should be fine. Do whats right for the two of you though.
Good luck and congratulations!
2007-01-13 07:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi, I dont think its selfish but why in earth wouldnt you want your daughter at your wedding.
If you dont take her you might want to explain why to her as when she gets older she might want to know why she wasnt allowed to her mother and fathers wedding. I know she is young and might play up and im thinking you and you partner want sometime apart from your daughter which sounds horrible but, course im sure you deserve but you had a child for a reason and you are a family so i dont think leaving her out of your wedding is a good idea especially for a week as would you or you hubby of like to be left alone by your mum and dad for that long even if you have been staying with relatives.
At the end of the day its your wedding, but you may have to put up with the consequences on not letting her be part of it.
2007-01-13 06:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you return, have a small intimate ceremony with your child. Or it could be done right before the big party starts. Let her feel as though she is a part of this event. At 4 she won't understand all the goings-on, but she will always remember she was a part of her parents wedding.
During this time, you could present her with a necklace she will treasure as she begins to understand.
2007-01-13 07:00:16 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd assume that you are honeymooning where you are having the wedding. If other family members are going to be there, I would have her at the wedding. I would arrange to have her looked after by another relative such as your mother for the entire duration of the trip. She can understnad that mommy and daddy are busy getting things ready and need some time alone. I would have her stick with a relative and go home with that relative while you two honeymoon. You'll regret that she wasn't there later on.
2007-01-13 06:29:31 · answer #5 · answered by stampadhesive 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm assuming that you and the child's mother have been living together and raising your child together. If this is correct, then going abroad for a trip/honeymoon and getting married would not be a big deal to a four year old. Mommy and Daddy coming home married would just mean "let's have a party" to a child of that age. Rock on, enjoy.
2007-01-13 05:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Not selfish, but, most experts agree that having the child there with you allows her a chance to feel like a part of the process. It's healthy for her to feel as though she's not losing a parent - just gaining another. If you'd like to then send her on home with granny so you can enjoy a nice honeymoon, that would be a nice compromise.
2007-01-13 05:42:28 · answer #7 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think this would be very selfish. You are a family, she should be involved in your wedding, she is part of your family. Can you take someone with you to babysit a few nights/days, that way she would be with you at the same time as you both being able to have time on your own together. She would then be able to see you get married.
2007-01-13 06:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by S 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
As a mother, I can not imagine going through such an important milestone in my life without my children by my side. Sure, lots of people get married before they have kids - but you didn't and now she should be a part of this as well since it is a change in her life to, not just yours.
2007-01-13 10:00:43 · answer #9 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to do what you want any how, but why not get married where she can be there then go away, just the 2 of you.
You have to decide is this wedding about the two of you or the three of you?
2007-01-13 08:13:33 · answer #10 · answered by ee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can do is give my honest opinion...I am getting married in 8 months and my children are part of my wedding (ages 4, 6 and 10). I could not imagine not having my kids at my wedding! I think it really is a personal choice - but do you really want to exclude your daughter during one of the most important events of your life???
2007-01-13 05:50:29 · answer #11 · answered by mrs.dennis.10.6.07 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋