How do I say No to my family, without hurting anyones feelings?

Question

I cannot say no. I say yes to babysitting and it turns into 12 hour sessions. I give them rides, money...etc... Its draining me. HOw do I say no without hurting them.

Answer 1

first, you have to realize that you cannot get through life without hurting people. if your family asks you to babysit make sure find out exactly how long they will be gone. If you're giving rides and lending money and not getting repaid then you just tell them that you can't help them. It sounds like your family is using you, so you just need to be honest that you don't have the energy anymore. you can only do so much. if it hurts their feelings, then so be it.

Answer 2

Let them know how you feel before they ask you for something like once you are done babysitting you can say something like "i love babysitting them, but the long hours are very tiring, and i don't think i can do it again" At this point they are so thankful to you that they won't get mad and they'll see your point, Whenever they ask for money you should say that you don't feel comfortable lending money to family or that unfortunately you are not able to lend them money. Giving your family rides shouldn't be that draining because it is a nice thing to do unless your family is taking advantage of you. Do a self-evaluation and check to see if you are a push-over because it might be that your family has noticed that they can ask anything and you'll do it so they might be taking advantage of you.

Answer 3

You HAVE to start saying 'no' even if it does cause some hurt & friction. If you are asked to babysit say 'yes, but I have to leave by such & such a time.' or 'sorry, I can't stay on Fri. but I could do a few hours on Sat.' You need to have a life of your own & to make your family see that you have commitments & prioritys of your own. Say 'I can do so much for you, but only so much, someone else will have to share the load.' Don't give money too freely - say that you are saving for different things, & that you don't have spare cash available. You need to talk about this with your family; obviously they don't realise how you feel. Clearing the air may not be easy, but for your own sake do it.

Answer 4

If you say yes to anything, set boundaries.
I take it it is not your immediate family (mom and dad) but maybe aunts/uncles and cousins asking for all this stuff?
Say, Yes I can babysit for you tonight, but I have to be home by...(whatever time) Or tell them that you want to be paid by the hour for your services. You could be off babysitting somewhere else making money!!!
Talk to you parents and have them stand up for you too. You can't be afraid that they (your family that is asking for stuff) are going to be mad. You need to start standing up for yourself, and your parents should be sticking up for you too. Hopefully soon they will realize that they are taking advantage of you. Good Luck!

Answer 5

The word "No" will save you a lot of trouble. One trick you can use to make it seem like you aren't blowing them off, is to say that you have your own business to take care of.

Think about it. If they're getting you to babysit, it is because they are taking care of their own business, and putting you to some stuff they don't want to do. If you come up with your own business, then they are going to have to find alternative. If they keep pressuring you, then you should tell them that it's disrespectful.

Especially, the giving money thing...a person really needs to be self-sufficient on their own. It really seems like you are being taken advantage of. Don't bring up that you think they are taking advantage of you, but find a way to preoccupy yourself, believe that it's important to you, and make them handle their own responsibility instead of making you do everything for them.

Answer 6

AS A PART OF A FAMILY YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO DO THING FOR THEM. AND YES THAT IS TRUE BUT WHEN THEY START TAKING THAT TO FAR THEN THEY ARE USING YOU. EVEN FAMILYS DO THAT TOO. I DON'T KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE BUT IF YOU LET YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU THEN YOU WILL LET THE WORLD DO THIS TO YOU TO. YOU HAVE A LIFE AND YOU NEED TO LET THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU KNOW THAT AND THAT YOU CAN'T BE DOING STUFF FOR THEM ALL THE TIME. IT IS NOT BEING HURTFUL AND IF THEY MAKE IT THAT WAY THEN THEY REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELING

Answer 7

tell them this. don't be super harsh, but sit down your favourite parent (not necessarily your favourite, but the most understanding) and tell them that you can't afford to keep giving them money and rides. also tell them that when your babysitting hours are not preplanned, that other plans you have made come into conflict, and this isn't fair to you. You work hard for your money, and want to spend time with your friends, not be late for work, and just have time to relax.hopefully, they understand. good luck!

Answer 8

You will hurt feelings anyway, but you are already hurting the most. You must stop the abuse of your time. You must say yes only to your own life. Your life and your time is all you've got, you do not owe it to anyone. To give your time to someone is a privilege for them. Please stop the nonsense and abuse now and say no and remain firm. Eventually they will find another family member to abuse.

Answer 9

hi mia

if i'm right,
families r for understanding and supporting each other

u should tell them frankly ( they should not feel hurt)

u should never backoff from lives problems,
it will go on kicking u bacward

so now is the time

best of luck
and lol

hehe

Answer 10

You've got to learn to say NO. Obviously they are taking advantage of you; you needn't worry about hurting their feelings.

Sometimes it's better for you to say NO and endure the guilt, than to say YES. The yes can be destructive to you.