Confused and in Need of advice and opinion on what to do.. thanks in advance.?

Question

I confesed my feelings for a girl after we met for 2 weeks and she felt the same too. We had finals coming up and did not have time to go on dates, however we were intimate when we had the chance and I felt that she was being true and we really did click.

I decided to take her on a date (which she wanted) one day after a 3 days absence when she was not being herself.

After the first date, she suddenly just said "lets just be friends". I told her to take time to think about it since her reasons were about insecurity. We hanged out more after finals, but she still felt confused about us and was not open.

I suggested later to be friends since I felt things shouldnt be confusing. However she wanted me to know that all her life and she ever had was commited relationships and that she really did liked me and not to think she was playing me. That I would be treated better as a friend.

Now we talk on AIM but I feel like we are not as open as we were and talk less, What went wrong?

Answer 1

Nobody here can answer your question. she's the only person that really has the answer. You should tell her how you feel (namely that you think you're talking less now) and ask her for her reasoning, but keep in mind that even she might not understand her own feelings and even she might not be able to provide you with a satisfying answer.

I've been in similar instances before in my life and it's really frustrating. Take comfort in the fact that you're likely not at fault here. That doesn't mean that she's at fault either, from the sounds of things, it seems as though she's fallen victim to some poor past experience and doesn't know how to act appropriately.

hope that helps some.

Answer 2

Could be a couple of things. Just always remember one thing. Woman fall in love with the man as he is in the beginning. The situation usually starts: You are chilling with your friends, being a cool guy, telling jokes, people paying attention to you etc etc. She sees this person and likes what she sees. Now you get to know her and you fall in love, now you are so into her that you dont spend time with her friends etc, and just want to be with her. The problem is that men turn into puppies when they fall in love, which in most cases, is not what the girl fell in love with.

I am not saying this is what happened, but I see this everyday

Answer 3

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Answer 4

when she said that she wanted to be friends, instead of saying why you should be dating, you should have been like "i'm very disappointed, but I respect your decision". Then she would have eventually came around and you two would have still been closer even if you were friends.

Answer 5

maybe you didnt do anything. maybe something outside of school happened to her. ask her about it. if she doesnt want to tell you about it, then it is private. completely off-limits to guys. a girl's personal life shouldnt be your buisness unless you are really dating.

Answer 6

Hi!!how r u doin...whomso ever u r,I just liked the question...see i guess wat went wrong or cud have went wrong is just wat was ur 1st date like!!as u mentioned after the 1st date she asked to be frnds...was there some discussion abt insecurity or else!!..committed relations are tough to get along but its just the past experience of the grl bugging her!!..WAT I CAN SAY IS...TALK TO HER AGAIN..AND THAT 2 FACE TO FACE!!..EXPRESSIONS SAY MUCH AND U CAN FIGURE OUT WAT EXACTLY CAN BE WRONG!!...U LOVE HER U GET HER BUT NOT WITHOUT HER PERMISSION...AND YES PPL IN LOVE 1ST AND THEN FRIENDS IS DIFFICULT MARK MY WORDS...!!!IF SHE IS INSECURED THEN GIVE HER THAT SECURITY....THINGS WILL GET WELL SOON!!...DONT WORRY!!...JUST ASK HER IF SHE REALLY CONSIDERS U A FRND ..THEN TELL U WAT WENT WRONG....U WONT BITE RITE....
I WUD REALLY LIKE TO HEAR WAT ALL HAPPENED NEXT!!
GOD BLESS!

Answer 7

She don't want to hurt you, she seems to think she will...Id say she has problems steming fron childhood...say friends when and if shes ready she will let you no...

Answer 8

she probaly realized it wasnt right between you to personaly i dont think it was youre falt!