Why does she blame her unhappiness on me?

Question

We have been dating 5 years 11 months and suddenly in Oct. she comes to me and says she is not happy. We take a break and she tells me it would kill her to live without me. Ok we get back together now she tells me once every 2 week she wants to break up. She says what am i suppose to do i am unhappy around you, if I'm unhappy around you that means i don't like you right. This can't be true; shes out with her friends and ill get a million calls and texts saying i miss you, you miss me and i love you and all that. When we fight i ask why would you write that she says to be polite. I say B.S. you lying, you're trying to F with my head.

She says her parents also make her unhappy and she constantly complains about college and work and how she never has free time. Can she just stop liking me after a really passionate relationship? I am very good looking and a successful college athlete, i have a good job lined up. I can't see why she wouldn't like me.

She is blaming the break up on her not liking me anymore. Does that sound likely or could it be something else.

In the past i mistreated her but i got a lot better. She knows i cheated once but that was 3 years ago. Also she always waited on me like i was a king while i treated her not very good.

Shes only been acting like this since The end of October before that she wan an absolute doll.

Answer 1

She has got issues and you are her scapegoat....happiness is a state of mind....if she is blaming everyone else including her parents, she has issues ... psycholgically speaking she has a maladjusted personality...and needs help but she doesn't realise it.....

apart from that she seems to be quite messed up if what you're saying is the whole truth.....

However, it is possible that something happened to her which made her unhappy and which she doesn't want to share....and thus blames you.....

even if ur not responsible you're around and thus her scapegoat

what you can do is talk her into seeing a shrink or a counsellor.....

Answer 2

She was in love with you but didn't like who you are, or what you'd become. You mentioned that you didn't treat her right, and that you cheated on her. A lot of time women will stay around in the relationship, still in love but not necessarily enthusiastic about what you've done, but perhaps you'll change. Some of us do some don't, some of take forever to make a change. You're stuck on the great assets that you have, and why someone would want to be with you, not so much what it is she should like about you. Perhaps you were into yourself a bit and not paying attention to her, which drove you to cheat on her to begin with. So now she's torn between what her heart tells her, and what common sense tells her to do, and she's stuck in-between. Plus she's stressed out she isn't getting the support she needs to juggle college and work. Best bet is to be there for her with those situations, rather than trying to be her boyfriend so much, and see if perhaps in the future the relationship won't heal over time. That'll go a lot further towards getting the relationship back on track than worrying about what she says, which isn't meaning a whole lot at this time, to either of you ...

Answer 3

Well if you two have invested almost 6 years in a relationship then it may be well be worth the effort to try and salvage it and try and rekindle the romance and happiness that must have been there in the beginning. If necessary it may be a good idea to go and see a counselor to help with relationship counseling. If your girlfriend is having bouts of unhappiness then perhaps she should also see her doctor and he may send her to see someone to help deal with this. Ensure that you reinforce how grateful you are to have her in your life (especially if you have been unfaithful in the past) and do all you can to boost her ego as often as possible. Best of luck to you and her.

Answer 4

Hi !
I think is not for everyone to be happy !
Some people just cant be happy.
I can look on that on two ways.
Maybe she suffer from some kind of depression or her par rents make her to be like that or she really wanna to break up whit you but she is not brave person or.....
In my opinion this is not anymore about her - it is now about you.
Are you ready to listen that story for the rest of your life?
Consider what you wrote it is not really Love.
Just ask your self are you Happy and you will get answer.
Despite my English I hope you will get the point.
Best wishes
Cheers

Answer 5

sounds like both of you are hanging around and hanging on and the relationship gets to a point and then never passes it.
maybe relationship therapist counselor would be in order.
are you both just hanging in there cause your used to each other?
do you need to take it to the next level or make adjustments or move on?

get some perspective and clarification on whats going on and how to make good decisions.

not the kind of therapy fro medication the kind that helps with life decisions.
a MSW or PhD specializes in relationships is best. may be one right there at the school.

good luck!

Answer 6

Well, I guess she is rather insecure with herself rather than with you. She seeks love but she also seeks independence, which woman can't decide between. Trying to balance every aspect of life, like she is, is very difficult. All I can recommend is that you give her the love and comfort she desires and most likely this indecisive stage of hers will pass. There is also dating counselors that can help you two if you problems persist in your relationship.
I wish you happiness and love and hope your situation works out for the best.

Answer 7

This person hangs her happiness on everyone else, instead of being responsible for her own life. Her behavior is psycho. Get away while you can unless you enjoy abuse. She does not like herself, so her liking anyone else is going to go in and out. She just doesn't want to be alomne because she thinks it looks bad, so she will do anything to cover her ***.

Answer 8

Oh Lord, sounds like she likes to be miserable. She seems like a drama queen that loves drama and creates problems for herself as some way to fulfil herself. She is messing with your head. OK you made a mistake maybe since she loves drama she won't move past it. She sounds like she has issues and needs to be with someone else. If she likes being treated like dirt send her on her way. She isn't healthy for you. Women like that have been known to be bipolar or have mental issues that turn them into psychos. Run Baby Run.....It's not you, its her. Let her be miserable somewhere else.

Answer 9

She cant trust you is likely the problem. She probobly wants to move on, but doesn't know how. Her head is probobly screwed up just as much as she is screwing with yours. You need to take the initiative and let her go. 5 years is a long time for her to just walk away from you, likewise for you, but it sounds like it's went stale. Just let her go, for the sake of both of you.

Answer 10

Well, I have this problem myself..sometimes life really makes you miserable and it is hard not to take it out on others..you kind of just radiate this I hate life vibe. the best way to solve this problem which helped me and my husband is to sit down and talk about what gets you down (you may even need to do this on a regular basis) my husband knows I love him and don't mean to take it out on him. but since we have been talking more and we fixed what makes me feel unhappy at home we have been doing great. I hope this helps you guys.