Smacking our children - PART 2. What next?

Question

OK so I have asked a question about whether is it right or wrong to smack our children. Thank you for your answers. If you have not read it please take time to read it before answering this.

Sooo I mustn't smack my daughter but when I try nicely to ask her not to do something and she stands in front of me and laughs ...tell me what I do next?

Sorry I didn't expain very well...this is following on from a questipon I asked this morning..

Answer 1

I never had to "smack" my children. The good news is that it sounds like your daughter is a very intelligent little girl. My daughter was the same way... she's a straight A student in high school now (much smarter than I ever was), so there is hope for you! The best thing for you to do when she misbehaves is to take away a privilege and don't back down. If she has a favorite toy or you can put her in a time out (minutes x her age). Be firm and very serious and make sure you tell her exactly why she is being punished. Let her laugh - she's just testing you and knows that it upsets you. Remain calm but firm and look her straight in the eye when you talk to her. And hang in there... she's going to grow up to be a great kid (although the teen years are an entirely different challenge!!)

Answer 2

I cannot advocate hitting a child. All I can say is what I have seen or heard.

Asian children are generally very well behaved, love their parents to death, not emotionally scarred, not physically scarred even though they grew up with a slap here and there when they broke the rules. And it was not only the parents who could handout the punishment, the teachers obviously could and did, as well as elders in the family on serious occassions, even elder neighbors.

No child harbor any ill wish against anyone who punshed them.

Deep down inside, the Americans also long for a good spanking for unruly kids. The proof that came when, in the eighties or was it nineties, Singapore publicly flogged an American youth for carrying illegal drugs in that country. Some Americans were upset but the overwhelming Americans loved it and was in support of the Singaporean system of justice.

In Texas, coporal punishment is allowed, even in schools!

There you have it. You decide. Do not let those Psychiatrist tell you what is good and what is not. Look back, ask mom, grand moms and YOU decide.

Answer 3

I have a 5 yr. old son and what works for me is
1. Being consistent with what I say and do. Ex. If I say Im gonna put him in timeout then I do it.
2. Never give a second chance. At 5 or older they are old enough to realize they are doing something wrong or are about to do something they shouldn't, so if they understand that part then they do not deserve another chance.
3. Then I also take his toys/tv/video games away.Ex. I say to him 'stop jumping or I'm turning off the cartoons' then he kinda jumps again like not really jump but more of a bounce just to say to me well I didn't jump... So I would turn off the cartoons and take away the computer and video for the rest of the day.

Ive also had to leave stores in the middle of shopping because he wasn't listening or being bad.

Just remember the most important thing is FOLLOW THROUGH WITH WHAT YOU SAY! If your daughter knows you mean it then she will start to listen, but at first she will test you alot and get even worse but you cant back down. Just remember also dont threaten something you know you arent gonna enforce

It might sound harsh but thats how its gotta be to get young kids to listen. Its hard at first but it pays off. If you have any questions you can email me.

Answer 4

Spanking though in bad repute, is a popular method of influencing children. It is usually applied to child rearing as a last resort after the more conventional weapons of threats and reasoning have failled to hit the mark. Frequently it is not planned, but occurs in a burst of anger when we have reached the end of our endurance. For the moment spanking seems to work: it relieves pent up tension in the parent and makes the child obey at least for a while, And as some parents say, "It clenas the air." If spanking is so effective, why do we have such uneasy feeling about it? what is wrong with spanking is the lesson it demonstrates. It teaches children undesirable methods of dealing with frustration. It dramatically tells them when you are angry -HIT!"instead of displaying intenguity by finding civilized outlets for savage feelings, we give children a taste of the jungle.

Answer 5

I suggest get some parenting books on the subject and read to see the outcome of using physical punishment on your children. You will also learn the alternatives to punishment. Personally, I do not believe in punishment but discipline which I feel are two very different things. I think if you educate yourself on the topic you can make the correct decision that is appropriate for your family and situation.

Answer 6

September Sweetie has the right idea. But, one thing you must maintain, and that is control. You are the parent. Punishment must be equal to the age of the child. In other words, up to 6 or 7 years old, a sharp smack on the rear is acceptable, along with "time out", etc., but as they get older, punishment such as September Sweetie can be more effective. Get control at the earliest age, or you will truely pay the price as she gets older. Best of luck to you and let your daughter know you love her. Children respect disciplne, it actually gives them a sense of protection.

Answer 7

i didn't answer ur 1st question, but i'd smack her, or giv a firm tap 2 let her kno its wrong. asking very young children not to do things rarely works. but when i babysit i never smack, they ain't my kids! i just tell them that its really upsetting me and i might cry if they dnt stop, im very gd now at makin me eyes water. i get a 'sorry aunty pene' straight away most times. if not..tis off 2 the naughty step. 2 yrs old? sit on the step alone for 2 mins, if they keep gettn up, u dnt tlk 2 em, just pick em up, or led them straight bk.

Answer 8

bring yourself down to the same level as her and explain this is not acceptable behaviour, and that you will not stand for it, get yourself a naughty spot (i use a large table mat) sit her on it and make her stay there for two minutes, and make sure she stays there, if she runs away then bring her back don't loose you temper or shout, bring her back when she has done the two minutes, stand her up and tell her to say she is sorry for what she has done she will soon get the hang of it , if she is defiant then it will take longer ,but let her know that what you says goe's. good luck she will soon get the hang of it even if it drives you nuts don't give in to her,

Answer 9

what would your boss do if you were asked to do something and you laughed in her face? you cant fire your daughter, but she needs to learn things now. i think spanking is ok when other things dont work ( threatening to take away toys doesnt work on a young child when you are at a store and her toys arent around anyway) you cant save punishment for later in a young child - they will not associate the crime to the punishment. not all people will agree with this because not all people have children that behave like this (some of them obviously have no children at all) when my friend was a mother of 3 she did not agree with my parenting. now that she has a 4th that is not as well behaved she understands

Answer 10

Growing up, I was a spoilt and unruly child at times. My parents would hit me 2 or 3 times with something on the butt. It would hurt while they were doing it but it never left scars emotionally or physically and it didn't hurt after a few minutes.

The most important thing is though that I learned that that type of behavior was simply unacceptable.

I look around now at some of the other kids my age who never grew out of the unruly and spoilt childhood stage of their lives because their parents were too busy coddling them.

So, yes, I agree. If you are smacking them on the butt because they are being insolent and not beating up on your child, you are fully within your rights to teach your child how to be a good citizen of humanity.