Im hopeless at meeting women in bars or clubs, where else can i go?

Question

I have no confidence, and am the kind of person who needs to know the person before id even approach them as a possible partner.

Where can i meet women around my age and how do i?

Im 23, and trust me, one liners or chating up will never come out of me, and im at a stage where im just extremely lonely and it hurts.

Answer 1

Well, you could do something to gain confidence. Buy nicer clothes, get a haircut, work out or get new glasses (if you wear them). You'll be surprised what a little change can do for your self-image.

Then join clubs where you might actually meet people who share your interests, volunteer, go back to school (if you're not in school anymore).

You could also try getting over the "knowing the person first" thing. That's what dating is about, getting to know them, not grooming them for a lifelong partnership. Even if it doesn't work out, it can be a lot of fun.

Otherwise you're going to end up with a lot of "just friends" or destroyed friendships. Not that it's impossible it will work out, it's just that it's definitely more complicated.

Answer 2

Listen, don't bother with club and bar if you're not comfortable. Best way is to live life and enjoy whatever you're doing. Find outdoor activities like hiking, biking, etc. You will find other people there and just be on a friendly level and you never know where if will move on to. Go to charities works, very high rates of women to men and the women are much more approachable than those in said club. Like I said, just be out there and enjoying your life, don't bother looking, thing would just come to you when you least expected.

Answer 3

first thing that u must keep in mind all times is that ur not the only guy in the world facing such a problem. so, calm down. secondly, u say chating up and one liners will never come out of you. well, one liners and pick up lines are seldom genuine. a lot of people will tell u that a pick up lines are a waste of time, but trust me, a pick up lines mean more. its ur way of communicating to her that u r smart and ready for a relationship. some girls may never admit it, but chiks dig pick up lines. no matter how stupid it is, its delivery has got to meet its content. if the line is too cheesy, say it with an equally humourous touch!
last thing is wait, sometimes u just gotta!

Answer 4

The woods, with a rope. JUST KIDDING! Cheer up dude, love comes along when and where you least expect it. Try this, it won't cost you a dime and you'll be doing something noble even if you don't succeed in meeting someone. In your area find some volunteer work that needs help. Could be community projects such as cleaning up a park etc. Or it could be at a hospital or a church. Just get out there and be seen. Nature will find it's course, it always does!

Answer 5

One of the best places to meet people is thru your local political party headquarters---particularly during an election drive. There are usually young people, with an agenda, who are working there.

People say at church-but, I have not seen this to be true. However, if there is a singles group that meets thru a church, this is an idea. Most larger towns have single groups, too. Mine has a huge church singles group (over 500 people), a Christian singles group, a Jewish singles group. They are out there.

Take classes, join hobby groups, and things like this.

If you live near a college campus, offer to do volunteer work at the library. Volunteer work is good anyplace. If nothing else, it will take your mind off of the subject of ''finding someone''. If you are not looking---that is when you can more easily find someone.

Answer 6

Join a club or activity that interests you. For example, if you like animals, volunteer at the Humane Society. This way, you already have something in common before you even go. If you meet someone, you don't start from ground zero. If you don't, you're already doing something you enjoy and you might make some new friends. What do you think?

Answer 7

Easy one!

Create your own party. Buy a bottle of whatever (Absolute, Jack, etc.), and offer a drink to any women even remotely near by, or looking over.

Then they have friends who have friends who have friends, etc.

A proven fact is that if you are with one or two beautiful women, more will come. They will think you are something special and if the other girls have you, then the also will want you. I am telling you this is written in stone in the bible. I swear!

If it doesn't work the first time keep coming back. The club atmosphere needs to be right, but I promise you will have phone numbers and girls everywhere.

Good luck my friend! Go score one for all of us!

Answer 8

You have a good head on your shoulders and are Cautious. That's a good trait.

You're correct, Bars and Clubs only introduce you to people who are dependent on liquor and have many hidden problems. Not good for starting relationships!

I do have some ideas you can hook up.
For one, you can get free booklets on grocery store stands like "Family", they have events posted that involve people. You can meet positive people at these gatherings. Another free magazine is The Reader. It posts activities like art shows in Balboa Park, and many events all over the County that are outdoors. Go to ART and craft displays at parks. You can go anyplace where you have a particular interest and you meet people with the same hobbies!

Look around. let your senses guide you!

Answer 9

Try a coffee house or join a book club. You can not really talk to anyone over loud music or while they are drunk. Also try throwing a casual party and invite all the people you know and tell them to bring female guests. Dont be a wallflower, get out and socialize. Also a library is a good place too. Good Luck

Answer 10

You could try online dating. Or there are minute date things where people sit down and rotate through the people and talk for a few minutes. At the end, they rate which people they like best.
Another place that works well would be an adult workshop. Like perhaps a cooking class or some kind of art class.