I just want to be alone is that a problem???

Question

I am at the point in my life that I just want to be alone. I just want to have a good paying job to move out. My bf wants us to get a place. Half of me want to do that half of me dont. I dont want to be dependent on him. I want to know that I can take care of myself. My problem is that I hate my family for numerous reason, but not of importants right now. But my bf is a family guy and i feel once he find out i want nothing to do with my family he may not like me very much. So I feel that we will break up and when we do i dont want to be bothered with no relationship. I was born alone, dont have much friends (especially females) so it wouldn't be anything different. Do you think I am wrong??

I wouldn't mind starting a family wiht my bf but I want nothing to do with my family.

I think my bf wont understand. He is a total family guy not realizing everyone is not as close to their family like he is. I told him I dont know how old my mother was and he was shocked. I told him I dont know most of my family and he said that was a turn off.

Answer 1

I can somewhat relate...I love being alone and sometimes, actually often, feel like I don't need anyone to be happy. The truth is though that I think we all need relationships with others to feel whole and content. I'd suggest talking to your boyfriend about exactly how you feel and why you feel the way you do (your family life). Your boyfriend is in love with you and not your family. I think being with him would be a great opportunity to experience the family life that you never had. I think the most important thing though is to just talk to him. I believe maintaining some independence in a relationship is healthy for both people. I'm sure he would agree also. Good luck :)

Answer 2

Sounds like you need more schooling in your communication skills including spelling. I am not saying this to be rude...your power is in your education, get some. If you need to be alone, then use the time alone with books and schooling. You would be surprised how much better you would feel about yourself and also you would learn better problem solving. Maybe also a little counseling could help you resolve some of your issues about family and relationships. You sound very young and therefore have time to accomplish these goals IF YOU SO CHOOSE. To stay where you are is as if you are going nowhere in life. Think about what you want and do it, you can't live for your boyfriend.

Answer 3

Nope. Everyone needs their space and time alone. I think you should consider getting some friends though. I'm sure you are a great person even if you can take care of yourself. As far as your BF, you need to explain your feelings to him about your family and why you feel that way. I'm sure the two of you can work it out, that's how much confidence I have in you, Hon:)

Answer 4

Dear, it is not a matter of right or wrong here to be alone. Perhaps you should find out exactly what is troubling you. From your text, I could sense that your family is causing you some stress which you need to face and admit. You should try to be honest and share this unhappiness in your family with your boyfriend. I believe that if he cares for you, he will listen to you and empathise your situation. If he choses to leave you because of your family background, his heart is not true to you. Do not feel alone. You are not. Share your problems and you will be surprised that many people around cares for you even if they have not met you. I wish i have proven this to you.

Answer 5

Not at all! Independence is a wonderful characteristic. One needs to be whole before one can accomplish a fitting relationship. That's primarily what's wrong with folks today. Most feel a partner is necessary at all cost....which I feel is not so. A winning partnership could be a grand revelation, as long as BOTH partners grow and benefit. Otherwise it should NOT be the ultimate goal.

Answer 6

I think you are depressed and the depression is making you have irrational and negative thoughts and emotions. Nobody needs to be isolated. You are young. You need a better outlook on life. You are not the only person to have problems with family. To believe that you will be rejected by your boyfriend because you do is self-defeating and again, a symptom of your depression. Seek help honey.

Answer 7

No you are not wrong...If you feel that way then go with your gut...you cannot live your life pleasing others....And your relationship is a lie if you are not truthful to your boyfriend about not wanting a family and he does...So moving in is not a good idea...If he loves you he will accept you as you are and not try to change you, and if he cannot handle you not wanting a family, then it is time for you to move on...Alone time might be just what you need.

Answer 8

Wanting to be alone won't be a problem for you unless you feel that it's a problem deep down inside yourself.

Now if your Bf wants you to move in together with you, & you don't want that, then that's a problem for HIM.

It becomes a problem for you if he decides to end the relationship you two have together because of it.

The whole thing about life is BALANCE. You may want to be alone, but not TOO alone. Some people who want to be alone start to build walls around themselves, & end up alone, & LONELY.

Keep it in balance.

Answer 9

Follow your bliss. If this is the time to be flying solo then do it! Nothing wrong with being independent for a while. If the bf can't handle that then he's wrong for you anyway. If you give in to what others say you should do you'll end up miserable.

Answer 10

Some people are like that i said the very same thing years ago but as you become more mature things change especially when you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I am sure when you explain things to your b/f he may feel the same way.